This is a money-saving tip that may seem obvious, but you would be surprised at how many people won't use it. They are too lazy or too timid.
During the spectacular recent makeover of Casa Sneed, the lovely Mrs. Sneed and I spared no expense in making it into a showplace and I think the result proves that.
This is a photo of our new chairs that we bought at a little boutique called Costco Membership Warehouse. If you are not familiar with Costco, it is similar to Sam's Club and I think BJ's Warehouse. For an annual fee you get the right to buy gigantic-sized quantities of stuff at a bargain price. Anyway, they sell all kinds of things, food, clothes, books, tapes, computers, heck, Costco even sells caskets cheap. Many of your finer interior design firms use Costco. I'm sure I've seen some of their people in there from time to time.
One evening we were at Costco and they had this giant stack of Lane leather chairs for $499.99 each, with a $100 dollar instant rebate. Since we had been looking for new chairs for the living room, we bought two. The net cost was $880.98. This is stylish living to white trash like us, so we think the chairs are just dandy.
This past Tuesday night we went to Costco to get a giant vat of something or other and the formerly giant stack of chairs had been reduced to about 10 and the price had also been reduced to $399.97 minus the $100 rebate. This means that just a couple of weeks earlier, we paid $200.02 plus tax more for 2 of the same chairs.
Well, I was not taking this sitting down, even in my new chairs. I found the manager and asked her if I could get the $200 back. She said that if I had my receipt and had purchased them less than 30 days ago, I could get my money back. We went home, got the receipt and because we purchased them 29 days earlier, we were able to get $216.20 refunded. How great is that?
Whenever we make a large purchase we try to pay attention to the sales for a few weeks afterward to make sure the item doesn't go on sale for less money. Retailers will almost always refund the difference if an item goes on sale right after you buy it. If they won't refund the difference I have been known to return it and repurchase it at the lower price.
A couple of years ago, I bought a $3300 HDTV set at Sears and the next day it went on sale at the dreaded Circuit City for $500 less. I called the guy who sold it to me, while still standing in the dreaded Circuit City, and insisted that he match the price or it was going back. He not only matched the price but I got an additional 10% of the difference. That's a $550 savings with just a phone call.
I guess my point is don't ever be afraid to ask. All they can say is no and then you get to get huffy with them, which can be fun too. Merle.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
Aug 31, 2006
Don't Make Me Bring Them Back
First an update on our police action yesterday. I got a full briefing from our crack security detachment at work this morning. It seems that the 2 bozos that were apprehended were from Mexico and were driving a truck they stole two months ago from the parking lot next door. The sounds we thought might have been gun shots, were in fact concussion grenades that the police threw at the dopes to stun them. Real grenades would have saved the public a bunch of inconvenience, if you ask me.
This is a money-saving tip that may seem obvious, but you would be surprised at how many people won't use it. They are too lazy or too timid.
During the spectacular recent makeover of Casa Sneed, the lovely Mrs. Sneed and I spared no expense in making it into a showplace and I think the result proves that.
This is a photo of our new chairs that we bought at a little boutique called Costco Membership Warehouse. If you are not familiar with Costco, it is similar to Sam's Club and I think BJ's Warehouse. For an annual fee you get the right to buy gigantic-sized quantities of stuff at a bargain price. Anyway, they sell all kinds of things, food, clothes, books, tapes, computers, heck, Costco even sells caskets cheap. Many of your finer interior design firms use Costco. I'm sure I've seen some of their people in there from time to time.
One evening we were at Costco and they had this giant stack of Lane leather chairs for $499.99 each, with a $100 dollar instant rebate. Since we had been looking for new chairs for the living room, we bought two. The net cost was $880.98. This is stylish living to white trash like us, so we think the chairs are just dandy.
This past Tuesday night we went to Costco to get a giant vat of something or other and the formerly giant stack of chairs had been reduced to about 10 and the price had also been reduced to $399.97 minus the $100 rebate. This means that just a couple of weeks earlier, we paid $200.02 plus tax more for 2 of the same chairs.
Well, I was not taking this sitting down, even in my new chairs. I found the manager and asked her if I could get the $200 back. She said that if I had my receipt and had purchased them less than 30 days ago, I could get my money back. We went home, got the receipt and because we purchased them 29 days earlier, we were able to get $216.20 refunded. How great is that?
Whenever we make a large purchase we try to pay attention to the sales for a few weeks afterward to make sure the item doesn't go on sale for less money. Retailers will almost always refund the difference if an item goes on sale right after you buy it. If they won't refund the difference I have been known to return it and repurchase it at the lower price.
A couple of years ago, I bought a $3300 HDTV set at Sears and the next day it went on sale at the dreaded Circuit City for $500 less. I called the guy who sold it to me, while still standing in the dreaded Circuit City, and insisted that he match the price or it was going back. He not only matched the price but I got an additional 10% of the difference. That's a $550 savings with just a phone call.
I guess my point is don't ever be afraid to ask. All they can say is no and then you get to get huffy with them, which can be fun too. Merle.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
This is a money-saving tip that may seem obvious, but you would be surprised at how many people won't use it. They are too lazy or too timid.
During the spectacular recent makeover of Casa Sneed, the lovely Mrs. Sneed and I spared no expense in making it into a showplace and I think the result proves that.
This is a photo of our new chairs that we bought at a little boutique called Costco Membership Warehouse. If you are not familiar with Costco, it is similar to Sam's Club and I think BJ's Warehouse. For an annual fee you get the right to buy gigantic-sized quantities of stuff at a bargain price. Anyway, they sell all kinds of things, food, clothes, books, tapes, computers, heck, Costco even sells caskets cheap. Many of your finer interior design firms use Costco. I'm sure I've seen some of their people in there from time to time.
One evening we were at Costco and they had this giant stack of Lane leather chairs for $499.99 each, with a $100 dollar instant rebate. Since we had been looking for new chairs for the living room, we bought two. The net cost was $880.98. This is stylish living to white trash like us, so we think the chairs are just dandy.
This past Tuesday night we went to Costco to get a giant vat of something or other and the formerly giant stack of chairs had been reduced to about 10 and the price had also been reduced to $399.97 minus the $100 rebate. This means that just a couple of weeks earlier, we paid $200.02 plus tax more for 2 of the same chairs.
Well, I was not taking this sitting down, even in my new chairs. I found the manager and asked her if I could get the $200 back. She said that if I had my receipt and had purchased them less than 30 days ago, I could get my money back. We went home, got the receipt and because we purchased them 29 days earlier, we were able to get $216.20 refunded. How great is that?
Whenever we make a large purchase we try to pay attention to the sales for a few weeks afterward to make sure the item doesn't go on sale for less money. Retailers will almost always refund the difference if an item goes on sale right after you buy it. If they won't refund the difference I have been known to return it and repurchase it at the lower price.
A couple of years ago, I bought a $3300 HDTV set at Sears and the next day it went on sale at the dreaded Circuit City for $500 less. I called the guy who sold it to me, while still standing in the dreaded Circuit City, and insisted that he match the price or it was going back. He not only matched the price but I got an additional 10% of the difference. That's a $550 savings with just a phone call.
I guess my point is don't ever be afraid to ask. All they can say is no and then you get to get huffy with them, which can be fun too. Merle.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
Aug 30, 2006
And You Think You've Had Bad Days
The good news is that I will not be complaining about anything today.
When you live as close to the Mexican border as we do, car theft is a huge problem. It is common for cars to be stolen from large parking lots, especially those near the freeway. Once a stolen car is on the freeway, it is less than an hour to the border.
My office is nestled between a big mall and a large commercial center, so it has been an inviting target for car thieves. Of course, I have a fool-proof system to avoid car theft. I drive a piece of junk no one really wants.
This afternoon our building was the scene of a major bust of a car theft ring. About 10 cops in full army gear, including ski masks, helmets and automatic weapons, nabbed some guys in the act of stealing a car. This was a serious group of police. It must have been an ongoing police operation because as soon as the knucklehead car thieves got into a car they were surrounded by guys pointing machine guns at them. They had to be following them.
I took these pictures out of my office window. You can see one of the miscreants sitting on the sidewalk, in the middle image. He got to wear those cool handcuffs made from giant cable ties. It was really hot today so he must have been sweating, figuratively and literally. I don't know how the police bear the heat in those getups.
Someone came in and said that a couple of shots were fired. I didn't hear them but the swat team formed a circle around the area on guard against something.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
When you live as close to the Mexican border as we do, car theft is a huge problem. It is common for cars to be stolen from large parking lots, especially those near the freeway. Once a stolen car is on the freeway, it is less than an hour to the border.
My office is nestled between a big mall and a large commercial center, so it has been an inviting target for car thieves. Of course, I have a fool-proof system to avoid car theft. I drive a piece of junk no one really wants.
This afternoon our building was the scene of a major bust of a car theft ring. About 10 cops in full army gear, including ski masks, helmets and automatic weapons, nabbed some guys in the act of stealing a car. This was a serious group of police. It must have been an ongoing police operation because as soon as the knucklehead car thieves got into a car they were surrounded by guys pointing machine guns at them. They had to be following them.
I took these pictures out of my office window. You can see one of the miscreants sitting on the sidewalk, in the middle image. He got to wear those cool handcuffs made from giant cable ties. It was really hot today so he must have been sweating, figuratively and literally. I don't know how the police bear the heat in those getups.
Someone came in and said that a couple of shots were fired. I didn't hear them but the swat team formed a circle around the area on guard against something.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
Aug 29, 2006
Could You Please Just Leave Me Alone?
Youngest son Sneed, the adopted one, against whom I have a restraining order, called me today, in violation of the order. He wanted to know if he had any messages from the many people he gave our number as a contact for him. Then he asked for money and when I refused he got ticked off. I eventually hung up on him. He called back and continued to berate me.
This guy says he is off drugs and has a job lined up. This is his M.O. He says he is clean, so all should be forgotten. Evidently, he believes that it is my parental duty to take him in. We have tried this and it doesn't work. I keep suggesting that he needs to go to the Salvation Army where there is a program to help him straighten out his life. He refuses.
I have given him thousands of dollars over the past few years trying to help him. It has been to no avail. I don't know what else I can do.
On a lighter note.
I hate to keep picking on my boss, but the guy keeps providing me the ammunition. When I got to work today, this email was waiting for me.
Please submit your mileage. I just received this month's sheets that
were due last week. Your immediate reply will be appreciated.
Thanks,
By way of explanation let me say that I have a company car. It is not one of those sweet deals where I can use it for personal stuff, but is is still nice to have. I park it at my office and use it throughout the day. Once per month I am supposed to record my mileage and fax it to the people who track these sort of things.
I was certain that I sent mine in earlier in the month, so I pulled out my copy and confirmed that I had. Next, I called the woman who keeps track and asked her if she had received my fax. She had.
A few minutes later the boss stuck his head into my cubicle to say hello. I told him that I had sent my mileage and that I had confirmed that it was received, so I was puzzled by his email. He said that he had not gotten his in on time, so he sent the email to make sure no one else was remiss. For a moment I was woozy.
At a minimum all he had to say was if you haven't sent it in do so.
Evidently, it never occured to him that he was going to confuse everyone in our work group. Instead he left the impression that he was in possession of some report of mileage offenders.
This is his management style. He creates problems so that he can appear to be dealing with them. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Bonehead!
No progress on the Circuit City front. They continue to throw up roadblocks in the way of honoring their extended warranty. A fellow at corporate is allegedly working on the situation. I hold out no hope. You can read about my travails with the Toshiba laptop here, or here.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
Aug 28, 2006
Its Only Cheaper If I Say It Is!
What to do, what to do.
When I was a kid I loved the movie, Cheaper by the Dozen, starring Clifton Webb and Myrna Loy as the time and motion experts, Frank and Lillian Gilbreth. The title of the movie comes from a running gag Frank used when asked why he had so many kids.
"Why don't you know that they're cheaper by the dozen?", he would reply.
I guess we have all come to understand the economy of scale of most items. A dozen doughnuts usually costs less than 9, 10, or 11 individual ones. Canned soda costs a buck a can, but about $3 if you buy 6 pack. We all know this, mostly we do.
I am in the business of designing something in the telecommunications field. I design my solution to a given problem and then have to submit it to my boss for approval and funding. If it proposes spending a lot of money, his boss or his boss's boss, may have to sign off. Our corporate value is absolute control. I can approve all expeditures of less than a penny though.
When I got to work today, I had an email from my boss, which lead me to think he may not be entirely familiar with the cheaper by the dozen concept. He had concerns about how many widgets I was buying compared to how many I needed on a particular project. I needed 75, but it was cheaper to buy 100, so I did.
I called the lovely Mrs. Sneed at work to tell her I might be about to quit, something I do a least twice a week, and then I trudged to his office, hoping I had misunderstood his concern.
No siree, we had to have a discussion about it, where I got to explain the cheaper by the dozen concept to him. It was one of those times when halfway through an argument one side (him) realizes he is completely wrong.
Attempting to defend the indefensible, he finally resorted to a weasel out. He tried to get me to buy the idea that he knew it all along, but someone up the chain-of-command might not. Just looking out for me. Yep, I believe that. He was literally asking why I chose to buy a 6-pack when I only needed 5 beers. Duh!
This is looney. When you demand absolute control over everything as a manager, you usually get more than you asked for. I have very little incentive to innovate or even to use good judgement if I think that the boss is going to give me a load of grief for my trouble.
I think this behavior is really just about the bosses letting the little pople know that they are smarter than us. Years ago I had a boss who insisted upon personally checking the work of everyone in the office. He would put yellow post-its all over the work indicating things that were wrong.
The little people quickly figured out that it was his way of showing us he was smarter than us, so we would make obvious errors that he could find quickly and send it back to us for correction. That seemed to keep him happy and the work moving along.
It is a good thing that I get 35 days a year off, not counting holidays, or these guys would be too much to bear.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
When I was a kid I loved the movie, Cheaper by the Dozen, starring Clifton Webb and Myrna Loy as the time and motion experts, Frank and Lillian Gilbreth. The title of the movie comes from a running gag Frank used when asked why he had so many kids.
"Why don't you know that they're cheaper by the dozen?", he would reply.
I guess we have all come to understand the economy of scale of most items. A dozen doughnuts usually costs less than 9, 10, or 11 individual ones. Canned soda costs a buck a can, but about $3 if you buy 6 pack. We all know this, mostly we do.
I am in the business of designing something in the telecommunications field. I design my solution to a given problem and then have to submit it to my boss for approval and funding. If it proposes spending a lot of money, his boss or his boss's boss, may have to sign off. Our corporate value is absolute control. I can approve all expeditures of less than a penny though.
When I got to work today, I had an email from my boss, which lead me to think he may not be entirely familiar with the cheaper by the dozen concept. He had concerns about how many widgets I was buying compared to how many I needed on a particular project. I needed 75, but it was cheaper to buy 100, so I did.
I called the lovely Mrs. Sneed at work to tell her I might be about to quit, something I do a least twice a week, and then I trudged to his office, hoping I had misunderstood his concern.
No siree, we had to have a discussion about it, where I got to explain the cheaper by the dozen concept to him. It was one of those times when halfway through an argument one side (him) realizes he is completely wrong.
Attempting to defend the indefensible, he finally resorted to a weasel out. He tried to get me to buy the idea that he knew it all along, but someone up the chain-of-command might not. Just looking out for me. Yep, I believe that. He was literally asking why I chose to buy a 6-pack when I only needed 5 beers. Duh!
This is looney. When you demand absolute control over everything as a manager, you usually get more than you asked for. I have very little incentive to innovate or even to use good judgement if I think that the boss is going to give me a load of grief for my trouble.
I think this behavior is really just about the bosses letting the little pople know that they are smarter than us. Years ago I had a boss who insisted upon personally checking the work of everyone in the office. He would put yellow post-its all over the work indicating things that were wrong.
The little people quickly figured out that it was his way of showing us he was smarter than us, so we would make obvious errors that he could find quickly and send it back to us for correction. That seemed to keep him happy and the work moving along.
It is a good thing that I get 35 days a year off, not counting holidays, or these guys would be too much to bear.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
Aug 27, 2006
Reaching New Heights
We often order pizza on Sunday evenings from a local place. We always order the same thing and the pizza place has purchase records by phone number. They usually ask me if I want the usual. Today they didn't ask and when younger son Sneed got home with the pizza it was not ours. I called and reported the problem. The kid on the phone explained to me that I got what I ordered. When I disagreed he got the manager on the phone and he told me to bring it back in.
When I arrived I was prepared to have a fight on my hands, but instead I got an apology from the manager. By today's customer service standards that is pretty good. It would have been nice for him to deliver the right pizza to my house and pick up the mistaken one, but it turned out okay.
These are photos of a Paraguay Nightshade, or Blue Potato Bush, on the side of the house. This plant is frost and heat resistant, drought tolerant and does very well in our climate. This one looked ragged earlier in the year but the recent rainfall has improved its appearance
I read an advertisement for a miracle dietary supplement that can reverse memory loss due to aging. I need to order some but I can't recall where I read about it.
Here's another thing. I read in the paper that tall people are smarter than short people according to a study by British researchers. I am in the tallest 5% of American men at 6'4" or 194cm, so this doesn't surprise me one bit. Just kidding, I actually bring the averages down.
When I arrived at work this past Thursday I noticed a gathering of the bosses in an open area near my cubicle. I had to walk right past them to get to my cage, ah cubicle, and I noticed an air of excitment about them. It was positively electric.
When I got to my desk I had a message waiting for me from my boss saying that his boss's boss (my boss's, boss's, boss) would be in town Thursday and that he just wanted me to know. The translation of that is "don't embarass me in front of this guy." I hope I'm not the only underling who got that warning.
After getting settled in for the day, I strolled out of my cubicle and ran smack into Mr. Big Wheel himself. I was prepared to give him the old hidee-ho and endure his questions about who I was and what great things I do for the company, but he looked right through me as though I was a window. He offered not glimmer of recognition that I was present. So I return the snub, although I am not sure you can snub someone who doesn't acknowledge your existence.
Mr. Big Wheel loaded up his minions and off they went for the day, leaving us to our menial little lives. They no doubt spent the day trying to impress him with their supervisory super powers and their great vision. I have been at audience in the royal court of Mr. Wheel and he has a favorite saying that goes, "This train is leaving the station, either get on or get left behind." I'm sure they took turns assuring Mr. Wheel that they are definitely on the train.
It is good to be one of the little people. Merle.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
I read an advertisement for a miracle dietary supplement that can reverse memory loss due to aging. I need to order some but I can't recall where I read about it.
Here's another thing. I read in the paper that tall people are smarter than short people according to a study by British researchers. I am in the tallest 5% of American men at 6'4" or 194cm, so this doesn't surprise me one bit. Just kidding, I actually bring the averages down.
When I arrived at work this past Thursday I noticed a gathering of the bosses in an open area near my cubicle. I had to walk right past them to get to my cage, ah cubicle, and I noticed an air of excitment about them. It was positively electric.
When I got to my desk I had a message waiting for me from my boss saying that his boss's boss (my boss's, boss's, boss) would be in town Thursday and that he just wanted me to know. The translation of that is "don't embarass me in front of this guy." I hope I'm not the only underling who got that warning.
After getting settled in for the day, I strolled out of my cubicle and ran smack into Mr. Big Wheel himself. I was prepared to give him the old hidee-ho and endure his questions about who I was and what great things I do for the company, but he looked right through me as though I was a window. He offered not glimmer of recognition that I was present. So I return the snub, although I am not sure you can snub someone who doesn't acknowledge your existence.
Mr. Big Wheel loaded up his minions and off they went for the day, leaving us to our menial little lives. They no doubt spent the day trying to impress him with their supervisory super powers and their great vision. I have been at audience in the royal court of Mr. Wheel and he has a favorite saying that goes, "This train is leaving the station, either get on or get left behind." I'm sure they took turns assuring Mr. Wheel that they are definitely on the train.
It is good to be one of the little people. Merle.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
Aug 26, 2006
I'LL Take Two Five Hundreds and A G-Note
This is a hibiscus flower on a bush on the patio. It is spectacular.
I was at our credit union recently and noticed a young guy at an adjacent window. He appeared to be kind of excited. Not agitated but eager, and talking way too loud. From his appearance I made him out to be a landscaper, plumber's helper, or something like that. He was cashing a check for $2500 and was telling the teller what to do with it. He asked for $1000 back in cash and also asked if he could have 2 $500 dollar bills.
I am not making this up when I tell you that the teller looked in her drawer and told him she didn't have any five hundreds. He asked her to check with her manager, and she did. She came back and said there were no five hundreds in the branch. He grudgingly accepted one hundreds, but loudly suggested that the credit union should keep them on hand. Five hundred dollar bills have not been circulated since 1969 and not printed since the late forties.
Large denomination bills were used for bank transfers but since the advent of electronic transfers they are no longer needed. You think someone in the credit union would have taken the time to tell this guy and you might further think that a professional bank teller might have noticed that she never gets any five hundreds in her drawer.
Here's another thing that has been bugging me lately. I download the Dave Ramsey program daily and listen to it on my IPOD at work. Dave has a habit of describing his website as having a lot of "goodies" on it. I hate when people use the word goodies.
"We had goodies at work today." I hate that. Also add veggies. They aren't veggies, they are vegetables. Don't even get me started on muchies.
Then there are the people who will tell you a story, using the names of people you don't know. I worked with a woman once who would walk up to you and say things like, "Pam was over last night with Lowell and we were up real late." I would look at her and ask, "Who are Pam and Lowell?" I hate that.
Plus this same woman would tells stories using only pronouns. "I told her to stop calling me." Who the heck is "her"?
I don't much like inappropriately shortening words. People in California refer to Arizonans as 'Zonies. Hate it. You don't hear me calling them 'Fornians. When I was young some morons referred to mustaches as 'staches or Mustangs as 'stangs. Stupid then and stupid now.
I am also really bugged by some of the words that have crept into our speech lately. I can forgive young people for making up words, but I draw the line at adults using them. There is nothing more silly that an adult saying, "My bad." or "using the word props, but I hear it all the time. Use real words, I beg you.
The all time greatest use of a madeup word occurred about 15 years ago before my career fell completely off the corporate ladder. This anecdote explains a lot about my failed career.
I was attending a meeting with about 15 or 20 other corporate types. I was the lowest ranking person in attendance because my job was to be an aide to my boss. I was supposed to be seen and not heard.
This blowhard from corporate was leading the meeting. At one point an idea was put forward and Mr. Blowhard said that he would take the idea back to headquarters and "socialize" it. Well, I sprayed my Coke out on the table, laughing uproariously. All eyes turned to give me the death-stare. Being quick on my feet I blurted out, "What in the world does that mean?" My boss later agreed that I said what he was thinking.
So, there you go. Merle.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
Aug 25, 2006
Lunch Today
These pictures are Trumpet vines growing in our back yard. They attract hummingbirds and bees. There is a bee inside one of the red flowers. These vines are growing on our walls and make a nice covering.
Well, not much happening here today. I worked in the backyard, went to the hardware store, met my pal for lunch, took a nap and now the lovely Mrs. Sneed is home from work. We just might take a trip to the casino tonight.
The clown bandits were arrested and it turns out to be a guy and three women. It was fun to kid about them. I tried to portray them as noble crusaders, out to rid our fair city of payday loan scum. The could have at least helped me out a bit. Instead, they are just the garden variety jugheads. Probably involved in drugs to boot.
I am not making this up. They were caught because one of them was stopped for driving with no license and his car impounded. Police discovered a big red nose in the car and put two and two together. He tried to shoot his way out using a giant seltzer bottle...there I go again.
I met a guy at lunch today named Charlie. My friend and I have lunch on Friday's at a local sports bar and I see Charlie and his wife there most Fridays. Although I had never officially met him, Charlie always waved to us. I was walking in today when Charlie waved to me, so I went over and spoke to him. He and I exchanged introductions.
Charlie is 88 years old, although you might not guess that he is because he is a spry old guy. His wife is 83 and uses a walker because of the effects of a stroke. They have been married for 60 years. Charlie said he guesses they are compatible. You think?
Charlie is a retired Army officer with 42 years of service both active duty and as a civilian Army employee. He worked in Army intelligence, which is not an oxymoron. He retired from the Army and taught public school for a couple of years, although he said he didn't really fit in the school culture and his methods clashed with those of the other teachers. He worked 12 additional years as an instructor and course developer for the Army before retiring for good.
Later, he came over to out table and regaled us with several funny stories about his Army adventures. Evidently, he had a reputation in the Army as a character. He certainly is a character nowadays.
People have often had really interesting lives. If we take the time to listen to them we find that out.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
Aug 24, 2006
Evening Update
Damn, this just in. The cops just arrested the clown robbers. Too bad.
I just came back from Circuit City, where I presented my new best pal Art with my documentary proof that they indeed have had my computer in for repairs 5 times in 20 months. It is amazing how different things are when you have the proof. He will call me back tomorrow after he talks to headquarters.
I am on this fool's errand because I paid $2400 for this laptop, including the very fine extended warranty. Circuit City is going to live up to their promises or I will pester them until they do. Yes, I am crazed.
In rereading my earlier post about Canyon Ranch, I came across like I was shilling for the joint. I was really poking fun at spending $500 and up per night ($1000+ per couple) for new-age pampering. I have to give them credit though because they are held in high esteem by those who value that sort of experience.
Man, I have to work tomorrow. Wait! I am off. Woo-hoo!!!
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
Luxury If You Have The Dough
Here in our fair city we have several fine resorts that attract visitors from around the world. One that stands alone in mission and quality is Canyon Ranch.
Perhaps you have heard of Canyon Ranch. In addition to the original one here, there is a Canyon Ranch spa at the Venetian Hotel in Las Vegas, as well as a facility in Lenox, Massachusetts.
The mission of the Canyon Ranch organization is to provide a healthy vacation experience. The rich and famous come to Canyon Ranch to chill out, dry out and hide out. The staff of Canyon Ranch is very protective of the privacy of their clientele. Celebrity guests of Canyon Ranch are wisked to and from the airport in secret. It is believed that when Diana Ross, formerly of the Supremes, was busted for drunken driving a couple of years ago, she was a guest of Canyon Ranch.
If you have a hankering for a healthy vacation at Canyon Ranch, the going off-season rate is about $525 per night, double occupancy, with a 4 night minimum. So, grab up your significant other and head on down. Oh yeah, birng about $6 G's.
If you woke up at Canyon Ranch today, the pictures I posted here are the views you would see. As for me, my view this morning was of my neighbor's garage, because he left the door open again.
In other news, the robber-clowns struck again yesterday taking down another payday loan joint. Way to go clowns!
Back in July I posted about my battle with Circuit City to get them to replace my computer, which has been in for repairs 5 times in 20 months. They claimed in their extended warranty that after three times they would replace it. I got a call today from their headquarters saying they have no record of it being in for repairs...ever.
I have the paperwork. What a bunch of morons. I will never deal with Circuit City again.
Merle.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
Aug 23, 2006
You're Going To Get Old, But Your Mortgage Doesn't Have To
Is it acceptable to end a title in a preposition?
Sometimes I get an unwelcome reminder that I am getting old. Strictly speaking, I suppose almost any reminder of my advancing years is unwelcome. Unless, of course, I get ticked at some young guy and think I should set him straight. Then I welcome it.
Anyway, I needed to buy gas on my way home today and I noticed a station that had regular for $2.72 per gallon. I thought to myself that I better jump on that. This is where the reminder comes in.
When I first started working in 1969 I had a 1960 Volkswagen Beetle. It had a 10.8 gallon fuel tank, but no gas gauge. When you had exhausted 10 gallons the car would stop running and then you had to throw a lever with your foot that released the last of the gas and it would resume running. That was your clue to get more.
I usually stopped at a Texaco station near our house and filled up for less than $2.00. I remember one Friday stopping and filling up for $1.76. I believe that the price was 17 cents per gallon. Man, I'm old.
Here's something else.
I was reading in the paper today that a lot of people are in trouble because of falling home sales and rising interest rates. You can look back in my archives and find more than one post I wrote about the foolishness of interest only loans and adjustable rate mortgages. I hate to be an I-told-you-so but....no I don't, I told you so.
It is never smart to mortgage yourself to the hilt. One bad turn and you are screwed. What's a bad turn? How about an ARM that keeps adjusting your payment upward? Or how about you need to sell the house you bought with no money down, just as the market slows way down? Maybe you get laid off and have a big old payment to worry about?
We have a fine large university in our fair city. The university has many fine athletic teams and many fine student-athletes. They go on to play professional sports, work in business, some are doctors or lawyers, scientists or teachers, you name it. Some party their way through school, learning little and they become mortgage salesman. As a matter of fact, our fair city has a mortgage firm owned by a former university athlete and staffed with former athletes, who evidently have no real skills. He basically trades on their names for as long as they have currency.
In my never-to-be-humble opinion, mortgage people are lower on the scale than shifty used cars guys. These people routinely convince young couples that they can buy the house of their dreams through the use of creative mortgages. 80/20 loans, ARMs, Interest only, 40 or 50 year loans, you name it. They do a huge disservice to these people, purely to line their pockets.
Anyway I invite you to read my long rant on mortgage loans and the dangers of listening to idiots.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humora
Aug 22, 2006
The Road to Despair
This is a bougainvillea that is in front of the Casa Sneed. It is native to Brazil and is popular in tropical locales. Even though the high Sonoran desert is not tropical, bougainvillea does well here. It freezes out in our winters if it is exposed, but even if it dies back to ground level it will grow back in the spring. The dead parts of the plant can be cut back and new growth will sprout. This particular plant is about 10 feet tall and is in the entryway to the house, so it is spared most of our infrequent freezes.
Bougainvillea has very showy color, although it does not flower. The plant has bracts, similar to leaves, that are the red portion of the plant. Bougainvillea is available in several colors.
Among other items.
In the days before the interstate freeway system reached our particular neck of the woods, travelers passing through our fair city did so on a stretch of what we called the highway. The highway's name at any given point proclaimed where it went. We had the Benson highway going east out of town to Benson, AZ and beyond, the Nogales highway to the south, the Casa Grande highway to the north and on to Phoenix, etc. These roads were lined with motels, bars, stores catering to travelers and bustled with business. The highway also took you through downtown in those days, past the grand hotels and department stores. The interstate highway changed that.
Nowadays, the remains of these highways are lined with broken down motels catering to the desperately poor or the drug and ho trade.
I was thinking about that today because I had to visit a construction site in an area called the Vistas on the southside. The Vistas is a neighborhood of boarded up windows, broken down cars and stray dogs. Most of the homes in the area are ramshackle duplexes in various stages of decay. It is incomprehensible to me that people live in these conditions. The Vistas has a very tough reputation for gang activity. I have long assumed that it must be the worst area of our fair city for crime.
Well, I decided to look up the actual statistics to confirm my suspicion. Turns out I am wrong. I know that it is hard to believe that I am wrong, but in this case it is true.
According to information supplied by our very fine police department, the Vistas isn't even close to the crime leadership. That distinction belongs to the corridor along our former north-south highway through town. These areas are often like ghost towns plunked into the middle of the city. There has been no incentive for people to redevelop them, so they breed crime.
Another thing that jumped out of the map plotting crimes by area, is that crime is prevalent in the areas where there are more than the average number of apartments. I guess proximity increases tensions. I wonder how different our society would be without the interstate highway system.
I was talking to a guy who works these high crime areas all the time and he told me that the trick is to go there in the morning while the hoopleheads are still asleep. Go in the afternoon you never know what you may find. Good advice.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
Aug 21, 2006
Monster
I heard Garrison Keillor remark about loud public cellphone conversions, that if God wanted you to have loud private conversations in public, he would have made you a crazy person. Sounds right.
This is the biggest Saguaro cactus that I have ever seen. The funny thing is that it is in the yard of a house near me. It either grew where it stands or was transplanted about 45 years ago when this house was built.
The first picture shows its height compared to the telephone pole. The pole is a 35 footer. If we assume that 5 or 6 feet of the pole are in the ground, this cactus is about 28 feet tall. It has approximately 20 arms on it. The maximum height for a saguaro is about 50 feet. What makes this one remarkable is the girth, the number of arms and the health of the plant. It is very robust. They just don't get much bigger than this one.
The second picture shows the size of the trunk again compared to the pole.
(click to enlarge the images)
I had to go to Target tonight to return one of the lovely Mrs. Sneed's many Target purchases. She loves Target. On the way home I heard a radio commercial that just bugged me. This is not intended to offend anyone's religious beliefs.
The commercial was for some church. The narrator was making some point or another about what he called Chreasters, people who only go to church on Christmas and Easter. Chreaster is a prejorative in Christian circles. What a smug jackass. Evidently, there is some sort of scorecard being kept in some quarters.
I don't really care if you go to church or not, I don't. In fact, Chreasters are two up per year on me. So it is all relative isn't it? Of course, from a Christian's perspective, my problems are much bigger than where I spend my Sunday mornings.
Here's a thought. Why not live your beliefs and let others see how that works for them? If they like what they see, they may just join you. Running around flapping your yap and shouting, "look at me" is dangerous. One day you are on TV living the high life and the next you're busted with a ho in a seedy Lousianna motel.
I remember once when I was 6 or 7 my mom had a friend who belonged to this real fundamental church. If a members missed church on Sunday, the pastor would send a letter from the devil, thanking them for foresaking God. Sounds like a swell place, eh?
I guess my point is this. If you want to entice the occasional church attender to be a regular attender, it is best not to call them names. That's my thinking anyway.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
This is the biggest Saguaro cactus that I have ever seen. The funny thing is that it is in the yard of a house near me. It either grew where it stands or was transplanted about 45 years ago when this house was built.
The first picture shows its height compared to the telephone pole. The pole is a 35 footer. If we assume that 5 or 6 feet of the pole are in the ground, this cactus is about 28 feet tall. It has approximately 20 arms on it. The maximum height for a saguaro is about 50 feet. What makes this one remarkable is the girth, the number of arms and the health of the plant. It is very robust. They just don't get much bigger than this one.
The second picture shows the size of the trunk again compared to the pole.
(click to enlarge the images)
I had to go to Target tonight to return one of the lovely Mrs. Sneed's many Target purchases. She loves Target. On the way home I heard a radio commercial that just bugged me. This is not intended to offend anyone's religious beliefs.
The commercial was for some church. The narrator was making some point or another about what he called Chreasters, people who only go to church on Christmas and Easter. Chreaster is a prejorative in Christian circles. What a smug jackass. Evidently, there is some sort of scorecard being kept in some quarters.
I don't really care if you go to church or not, I don't. In fact, Chreasters are two up per year on me. So it is all relative isn't it? Of course, from a Christian's perspective, my problems are much bigger than where I spend my Sunday mornings.
Here's a thought. Why not live your beliefs and let others see how that works for them? If they like what they see, they may just join you. Running around flapping your yap and shouting, "look at me" is dangerous. One day you are on TV living the high life and the next you're busted with a ho in a seedy Lousianna motel.
I remember once when I was 6 or 7 my mom had a friend who belonged to this real fundamental church. If a members missed church on Sunday, the pastor would send a letter from the devil, thanking them for foresaking God. Sounds like a swell place, eh?
I guess my point is this. If you want to entice the occasional church attender to be a regular attender, it is best not to call them names. That's my thinking anyway.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
Aug 20, 2006
Birthday Party
Well, Sadie the Wonder Beagle ate the control wire to the drip irrigation controller, so I had to go to Home Depot and get some new wire and plastic pipe to keep her from doing it again.
Our pal Sneedlet One spent Saturday night with us and since his house is still being painted he is staying Sunday night too. I am taking him home before work tomorrow.
He went with me to the Home Depot and on the way home something occurred to me. As we passed some houses he said, "There's a motor home truck." Toddlers are busy classifying stuff around them, so everything is a big deal. To me it was just an old motor home. To him it was important and distinctive. He distinguishes among all types of things like trucks. As we get older we lose our enthusiasm for things and trucks are just trucks. Interesting. One funny thing is that he calls the UPS trucks "King of Queens trucks" because of the television show. Sneedlet loves trucks and trains.
We went to Sneedlet Two's birthday party at his maternal grandparents home today. It was very nice. It was just the grandparents, Daughter Sneed, and Older Son and Daughter-in-law Sneed and of course the two Sneedlets.
The other grandparents have a pool so there was swimmming. Sneedlet One had never seen a pool before and was too scared to get in, although he did sit on the side and get his feet wet. Sneedlet Two is there all the time so he jumps right in. I have an agreement with the rest of the world never to disrobe in public so I watched.
Sneedlet Two got a ton of toys and some money for his college fund. He doesn't need more toys, but what can you do. Poor Sneedlet One wanted to open his gifts but his birthday is not until next month. All in all, he took it pretty well.
After we came home Sneedlet and I fixed the drip irrigation. Now he is watching a video. The lovely Mrs. Sneed is giving a lecture at the University to some Nursing students this week so she is busy working on that. I need to vacuum and pick up after the Sneedlet, so I better get cracking.
Tommorrow, it is back to work. Yuk!
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
Aug 19, 2006
I'm Just Saying
(click on the image to enlarge and prepare to be impressed)
I'm not saying she is definitely involved, but it does look suspicious.
This is the lovely Mrs. Sneed posing outside Casa Sneed. And before you ask, yes, she is related to the Jack hamburger empire.
I am a law and order kind of guy. I would say that 99.95% of the time I am for the cops and against the forces of crime. Every once in awhile I have to go with the perps. That time is now.
We are having a crime spree here in our fair city. A couple of guys in clown costumes are robbing payday loan stores. You know those those places where poor people sign away their future for a couple of hundred bucks of their own money now? If you are unfamiliar with this particular class of scum they work like this (the payday loan skunks, not the clowns).
Some poor and/or uneducated and/or drug-impaired and/or really not thinking ahead person strolls into this den of thieves and asks for loan against a future paycheck, due in say 10 days. Our soon-to-be victim has spent all of his last paycheck, but evidently hopes that the next one will magically have a couple hundred extra bucks to spare that he can tap into now. The payday loan creeps loan our borrower $200, taking out a fee of say $30, to hold the check until payday. This is an interest rate of 15% for two weeks, or 390% annually. Our guy pledges $200 in two weeks for $170 today.
Payday rolls around and our borrower must either redeem the check by giving the lender their $200, allow the check to be cashed or pay an additional fee to extend the loan. Since our guy discovers that he doesn't have the money to repay the advance, he pays an additional $30 for two more weeks and $30 for two more and...At 14 weeks the $200 has cost $210 to borrow and the original $200 is still owed. Bad deal anyway you cut it.
So here's to the clowns. I say shoot them with your seltzer bottles, stomp them with your giant clown shoes, hit them with really big hammers, do what it takes to run these weasels out of town.
I am still not saying the lovely Mrs. Sneed is involved directly, but she has deep connections in the local clown community.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
I'm not saying she is definitely involved, but it does look suspicious.
This is the lovely Mrs. Sneed posing outside Casa Sneed. And before you ask, yes, she is related to the Jack hamburger empire.
I am a law and order kind of guy. I would say that 99.95% of the time I am for the cops and against the forces of crime. Every once in awhile I have to go with the perps. That time is now.
We are having a crime spree here in our fair city. A couple of guys in clown costumes are robbing payday loan stores. You know those those places where poor people sign away their future for a couple of hundred bucks of their own money now? If you are unfamiliar with this particular class of scum they work like this (the payday loan skunks, not the clowns).
Some poor and/or uneducated and/or drug-impaired and/or really not thinking ahead person strolls into this den of thieves and asks for loan against a future paycheck, due in say 10 days. Our soon-to-be victim has spent all of his last paycheck, but evidently hopes that the next one will magically have a couple hundred extra bucks to spare that he can tap into now. The payday loan creeps loan our borrower $200, taking out a fee of say $30, to hold the check until payday. This is an interest rate of 15% for two weeks, or 390% annually. Our guy pledges $200 in two weeks for $170 today.
Payday rolls around and our borrower must either redeem the check by giving the lender their $200, allow the check to be cashed or pay an additional fee to extend the loan. Since our guy discovers that he doesn't have the money to repay the advance, he pays an additional $30 for two more weeks and $30 for two more and...At 14 weeks the $200 has cost $210 to borrow and the original $200 is still owed. Bad deal anyway you cut it.
So here's to the clowns. I say shoot them with your seltzer bottles, stomp them with your giant clown shoes, hit them with really big hammers, do what it takes to run these weasels out of town.
I am still not saying the lovely Mrs. Sneed is involved directly, but she has deep connections in the local clown community.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
Aug 18, 2006
Day Off
I was listening to the Dave Ramsey show from yesterday on my IPOD and Dave took a call from a woman who's brother won $9 million in a lottery, paid over twenty years. He has three payments to go and is broke and homeless, begging money from his family until the next check comes in. Dave pointed out that 65% of lottery winners are broke within ten years. Interesting.
Many people think that winning a bunch of money will cure what ails them. That is not true. Money makes you more of what you already are. If you are a spendthrift and wasteful, sudden wealth opens new opportunities for stupidity. If you are prudent it is a blessing.
Well, I am off work today and it is fantasic. My cell phone serves both work and personal needs so even on my day off I get several work calls that I have to take care of. Even so it is better than being there.
I went over to Daughter Sneed's this morning to monkey with her new television set. She bought a very nice LCD flat panel, but the picture is bad. After we exhausted both my ideas and all the vulgarities I could muster, we broke down and called the Comcast cable folks. They are coming on Monday to have a look.
Daughter Sneed is trying to get ready for the painters to do the inside of her house tomorrow. I picked up my pal Sneedlet to get him out of her hair and he and I met my friends for lunch today. My two friends are both retired and basically taking life easy. This is very appealing. I read that one year after retiring 75% of people say they are glad to be retired. After 10 years it is 49%. Something to think about.
Sneedlet was such a well-behaved boy at lunch. Our server kept bringing him Marischino cherries, which he loved.
Sneedlet and I stopped at a hardware store to get a speciality light bulb to replace one that I broke while dusting the ceiling fan. As we were getting out of the car there was a comotion in the parking lot. An 80ish woman had fallen and was sprawled on the pavement. Let me tell you, the pavement in the summer in Arizona is not where you want to lay down unless you enjoyed being burned. A good samaritan rushed to her aid and got her into the store. She said she felt faint and passed out. The folks in the store got her some cold water and by the time we checked out she was okay and waiting for her family to come get her.
Now we are just hanging out waiting for the lovely Mrs. Sneed to get get home from work. Then we will grab a quick bite and drive the Sneedlet home.
Merle.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
Aug 17, 2006
No Home Like A Gnome Home
As hard as I try to be a decent and civil guy, I can't keep the slack-jawed, drooling baboon within me from rearing his ugly head.
I walked over to get coffee this morning and I cut through the Walmart garden department to get in the air conditioned store as fast as I could.
Carol, the garden department cashier, was having a conversation about the item pictured above. It is a ceramic statue of a kid being pushed in a wagon by another kid. Evidently, you are supposed to put this in your yard. The picture was hurried because I was afraid that the crack Walmart security staff would bust me for taking pictures in the store, so I apologize for the quality.
Carol: "Aren't these cute?
Customer: "I love it. I brought one in the other store and my daughter and my sister liked them so much, that I went back to get one for them too. They were sold out so I came over here."
Carol: "Oh, we have a lot of them, lucky for you."
Customer: "They are on sale for such a good price."
A good price would be a free large Coke for each one you knock off the shelf, but...The sign on the dispay said they were on sale for nine buck, marked down from thirteen. I have two words about this thing. Butt-ugly. Maybe one compound word.
I invite you to stroll through the Walmart garden section. It is a museum of bad taste. Don't even get me started on the idiotic gazing balls.
I won something similar in a charity event once. It was first prize in a raffle. Second prize was two of them. Thank you folks, thank you very much. I'll be appearing here all week.
I suppose this customer may operate a string of minature golf courses and need replacements for gnomes that have been beaten to dust by unruly golfers, but I fear she thinks this passes for a home improvement. I guess the "park" can always use another lawn gnome or two. You know right next to the kid's wading pool and in front of the picnic table Junior made out of eight old tires and a broken door.
Now I am just being mean. Someone stop me.
I had a bad day at work today, so I am not my usual chipper self. Some days I just can't get motivated. Plus, you may have read that construction is slowing way down, so it is slow. I bore easily and the IT dorks keep blocking the websites we can access from the company computers. What's a guy to do?
I went out today to check on some building projects that I have to work on. Basically that means driving around more or less aimlessly. That killed about three hours. I got back at 1:10pm and made a mental note that I only had to kill 2 hours and 50 minutes until I could leave with a clear conscience. The construction business in Arizona slows way down after noon, so afternoons are just brutal for me. There used to be a couch in an unused portion of our floor and I could sneak a nap in the afternoons, but someone moved it. Even I am not good enough to sleep in an upright position at my desk. Plus I snore so it is not easy to catch a few winks undetected in my cubicle.
Anyway, I worked on some database cleanup, did some paperwork, talked to a few customers, listened to a podcast on my Ipod and wandered around bothering people in the office. Finally, at 3:45pm I gave up and came home.
It is tough when your job feels like you are bieng held hostage for 8 hours a day. I really need to find something else to do, but I have a problem. I don't want to work nights, weekends or Fridays. I also need to take a few days off now and again.
So far, I haven't found that new job.
My boss sent a voice mail to all of us in his group telling us that the company would like us to visit our neighbors to solicit new business. Hold on, I need to check out the window to see if donkeys are flying. Nope, no flying donkeys so I guess I decline.
On the bright side, I am not working Fridays for the rest of the year. Wait, I mean I am not attending work on Fridays for the rest of the year. So that is really good.
I hope to be less cranky tomorrow.
Merle
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
I walked over to get coffee this morning and I cut through the Walmart garden department to get in the air conditioned store as fast as I could.
Carol, the garden department cashier, was having a conversation about the item pictured above. It is a ceramic statue of a kid being pushed in a wagon by another kid. Evidently, you are supposed to put this in your yard. The picture was hurried because I was afraid that the crack Walmart security staff would bust me for taking pictures in the store, so I apologize for the quality.
Carol: "Aren't these cute?
Customer: "I love it. I brought one in the other store and my daughter and my sister liked them so much, that I went back to get one for them too. They were sold out so I came over here."
Carol: "Oh, we have a lot of them, lucky for you."
Customer: "They are on sale for such a good price."
A good price would be a free large Coke for each one you knock off the shelf, but...The sign on the dispay said they were on sale for nine buck, marked down from thirteen. I have two words about this thing. Butt-ugly. Maybe one compound word.
I invite you to stroll through the Walmart garden section. It is a museum of bad taste. Don't even get me started on the idiotic gazing balls.
I won something similar in a charity event once. It was first prize in a raffle. Second prize was two of them. Thank you folks, thank you very much. I'll be appearing here all week.
I suppose this customer may operate a string of minature golf courses and need replacements for gnomes that have been beaten to dust by unruly golfers, but I fear she thinks this passes for a home improvement. I guess the "park" can always use another lawn gnome or two. You know right next to the kid's wading pool and in front of the picnic table Junior made out of eight old tires and a broken door.
Now I am just being mean. Someone stop me.
I had a bad day at work today, so I am not my usual chipper self. Some days I just can't get motivated. Plus, you may have read that construction is slowing way down, so it is slow. I bore easily and the IT dorks keep blocking the websites we can access from the company computers. What's a guy to do?
I went out today to check on some building projects that I have to work on. Basically that means driving around more or less aimlessly. That killed about three hours. I got back at 1:10pm and made a mental note that I only had to kill 2 hours and 50 minutes until I could leave with a clear conscience. The construction business in Arizona slows way down after noon, so afternoons are just brutal for me. There used to be a couch in an unused portion of our floor and I could sneak a nap in the afternoons, but someone moved it. Even I am not good enough to sleep in an upright position at my desk. Plus I snore so it is not easy to catch a few winks undetected in my cubicle.
Anyway, I worked on some database cleanup, did some paperwork, talked to a few customers, listened to a podcast on my Ipod and wandered around bothering people in the office. Finally, at 3:45pm I gave up and came home.
It is tough when your job feels like you are bieng held hostage for 8 hours a day. I really need to find something else to do, but I have a problem. I don't want to work nights, weekends or Fridays. I also need to take a few days off now and again.
So far, I haven't found that new job.
My boss sent a voice mail to all of us in his group telling us that the company would like us to visit our neighbors to solicit new business. Hold on, I need to check out the window to see if donkeys are flying. Nope, no flying donkeys so I guess I decline.
On the bright side, I am not working Fridays for the rest of the year. Wait, I mean I am not attending work on Fridays for the rest of the year. So that is really good.
I hope to be less cranky tomorrow.
Merle
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
Aug 16, 2006
Return To Sender
This truck was parked next to me when I left the office today. Man, talk about hostility. Or it could be that the Stupid Convention is in town again. I can think of a bunch of people I wouldn't want behind me at a light if I'm driving this thing.
(click on image to enlarge)
When I was a boy living amidst the cornfields and rolling hills of eastern Nebraska, I had a dream. I dreamed that one day I would invent a car that ran on....drumroll.....JUNK MAIL! Okay so that's a lie. We were so poor that we only had broken dreams, and we got those used.
When I was a kid, we were so poor that my dad sold the mailbox, so we didn't have junk mail. Our mailman would just hurl whatever came for us out the window of his truck as he drove past. My mom would tell my brother and me to go get the mail out of the road. We only brought in first-class, the junk stayed where it fell. Of course, counting on a 9 and 7 year-old to sort your mail is dicey. The only real mail that ever came was letters to my mom from her many sisters. We never sent mail because postage was four cents. I'm not kidding.
This is not joke. My dad wrote a local monthly newsletter. He sold ads to make money from it. Rather than mailing out 500 or 600 of these things he made my brother and me deliver them on foot to every house. We got $4 bucks, to split.
The good part is that we lived in government housing, so we had no house payment, no electric bill, no gas bill and no water bill. Cable hadn't been invented, so no cable bill either. We did have a telephone bill, but my dad didn't pay it monthly. He would wait until they called with a final warning and then pay it at the drug store, sometimes before it was turned off. In fact, he couldn't mail it if he wanted to because my folks never had a checking account until I was in high school.
My dad was a gadget man though. He loved a good gadget. I am a second generation gadget man myself. His gadgets were much bigger in those days, than they are today. He owned the original Polaroid Land Camera. It cost about $250 in 1959. It was as big as a small picnic cooler. He bought an ironing machine, with a roller presser. Why my mom thought this giant machine was better than her iron and ironing board was a mystery to me. After about a month she gave up on it and we used it for a desk. He bought a very big and expensive swiss watch, that broke and was never fixed. When times were tough he sold them cheap. I learned the old "buy high, sell low" from my dad. Nothing was safe from beig sold. He came home one day and announced that he had given away our dog. I think he really sold her.
Anyway, back to my junk mail powered car. How great would that be? It is nearly to the point that junk mail is all we get. I get credit card offers by the ton. I also get crappy magazines, newsletters, coupons, exciting offers, insurance comparisons and offical looking envelopes with fake checks for sales I wouldn't be caught dead at. My stock broker sends proxy forms, prospectus', and various legal notices. I give money to several groups so they reward me by giving my name to other groups. I get solitiations asking for donations by the bushel.
Last year I was swamped by donation requests that included free mailing labels as a gift. That is the word they used, gift. I accepted them as a gift and chucked the donation requests. Since I send only one check per month, personalized return labels last a long time. I have about a million. I didn't give a single penny to the groups that sent me labels last year, so they have upped the ante this year. I am swimming in calendars. This is the 21at damn century, who needs a wall calendar?
Anyway, if I can just perfect my junk mail flux capacitor, I'm set for life. I will also need a version for when they invent the virtual car. I can use junk email.
My email consists entirely of offers for degrees online, which are good because there is no work involved according to the senders. There are also a bunch of lonley women looking for a guy like me, plus some fine online pharmacies standing by with all my drug needs. I don't have any real friends, so I don't get personal emails. Only about 1 in 100 of my emails is legitimate, I have plenty to spare.
I'm telling you this is an idea who's time has come. Send me $5 and I will send you a set of blueprints to build your own junk mail flux capacitor. I will throw in some precription meds and a PhD if you act now.
Merle
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
When I was a boy living amidst the cornfields and rolling hills of eastern Nebraska, I had a dream. I dreamed that one day I would invent a car that ran on....drumroll.....JUNK MAIL! Okay so that's a lie. We were so poor that we only had broken dreams, and we got those used.
When I was a kid, we were so poor that my dad sold the mailbox, so we didn't have junk mail. Our mailman would just hurl whatever came for us out the window of his truck as he drove past. My mom would tell my brother and me to go get the mail out of the road. We only brought in first-class, the junk stayed where it fell. Of course, counting on a 9 and 7 year-old to sort your mail is dicey. The only real mail that ever came was letters to my mom from her many sisters. We never sent mail because postage was four cents. I'm not kidding.
This is not joke. My dad wrote a local monthly newsletter. He sold ads to make money from it. Rather than mailing out 500 or 600 of these things he made my brother and me deliver them on foot to every house. We got $4 bucks, to split.
The good part is that we lived in government housing, so we had no house payment, no electric bill, no gas bill and no water bill. Cable hadn't been invented, so no cable bill either. We did have a telephone bill, but my dad didn't pay it monthly. He would wait until they called with a final warning and then pay it at the drug store, sometimes before it was turned off. In fact, he couldn't mail it if he wanted to because my folks never had a checking account until I was in high school.
My dad was a gadget man though. He loved a good gadget. I am a second generation gadget man myself. His gadgets were much bigger in those days, than they are today. He owned the original Polaroid Land Camera. It cost about $250 in 1959. It was as big as a small picnic cooler. He bought an ironing machine, with a roller presser. Why my mom thought this giant machine was better than her iron and ironing board was a mystery to me. After about a month she gave up on it and we used it for a desk. He bought a very big and expensive swiss watch, that broke and was never fixed. When times were tough he sold them cheap. I learned the old "buy high, sell low" from my dad. Nothing was safe from beig sold. He came home one day and announced that he had given away our dog. I think he really sold her.
Anyway, back to my junk mail powered car. How great would that be? It is nearly to the point that junk mail is all we get. I get credit card offers by the ton. I also get crappy magazines, newsletters, coupons, exciting offers, insurance comparisons and offical looking envelopes with fake checks for sales I wouldn't be caught dead at. My stock broker sends proxy forms, prospectus', and various legal notices. I give money to several groups so they reward me by giving my name to other groups. I get solitiations asking for donations by the bushel.
Last year I was swamped by donation requests that included free mailing labels as a gift. That is the word they used, gift. I accepted them as a gift and chucked the donation requests. Since I send only one check per month, personalized return labels last a long time. I have about a million. I didn't give a single penny to the groups that sent me labels last year, so they have upped the ante this year. I am swimming in calendars. This is the 21at damn century, who needs a wall calendar?
Anyway, if I can just perfect my junk mail flux capacitor, I'm set for life. I will also need a version for when they invent the virtual car. I can use junk email.
My email consists entirely of offers for degrees online, which are good because there is no work involved according to the senders. There are also a bunch of lonley women looking for a guy like me, plus some fine online pharmacies standing by with all my drug needs. I don't have any real friends, so I don't get personal emails. Only about 1 in 100 of my emails is legitimate, I have plenty to spare.
I'm telling you this is an idea who's time has come. Send me $5 and I will send you a set of blueprints to build your own junk mail flux capacitor. I will throw in some precription meds and a PhD if you act now.
Merle
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
Aug 15, 2006
Money Saving Tip
NCN at NCN blog has a link-a-thon going to generate 100 money saving tips. My tip is to shop your insurance around. There is a huge difference in the cost of insurances.
1.Don't be married to your company, shop around. Insurance is insurance.
2. Raise your deductibles on home and auto insurance.
3. Dump whole life for term life.
4. Don't buy what you don't need. Things like credit life are a ripoff.
Merle Sneed
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, But The Delusions Of Insecure Goofballs Will Never Harm Me
Kind of rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?
I spent the day doing some work in what is arguably the worst section of our fair city. It is not the section in which you stand the greatest likelihood of being shot, but block for block, it has the highest rate of other crimes. This area specializes in hookers and drug dealers. The residents live in a collection of beaten down motels, sleazy apartments and a whole bunch of trailer parks. Not mobile home parks, I mean trailer parks.
I witnessed the sale of this little beauty today. I came around the corner and there was a guy with a 70's era Chevy Suburban backing this thing out of a rundown trailer park. After he got it out, a woman in shorts way too short and no shoes stood in the middle of the street and signed the title over to him. What the heck is he going to do with this monstrosity?
On to other matters. Wait, first I have to make an announcement.
"Will the owner of a gigantic ego report to the security desk? You left your indignation running."
I came back from my day's work to find a note taped to my computer monitor. It was from my boss and commanded me to report to him asap. I took the note and traipsed to his office trying to remember the worst thing I have done lately.
He asked why I had given the name and number of a particular coworker to one of my customers. It seems the customer had called said coworker, asking questions and Mr. Coworker was upset that he didn't have paperwork about the subject of the call (I am not making this up). I was inclined to ask if he was kidding me, but he seemed real serious.
Originally, my little project was supposed to be part of a bigger project that my coworker had. The bigger project got cancelled and my little deal was left on its own, but the customer still had the other guy's number to call. Trust me when I say this is no big deal. It is about my coworker having a box he operates in and I violated the box. Only a moron would think that I have nothing better to do than to think up elaborate ways to bother him. Heck, I bother most people in the simplest ways imaginable without even trying.
All my coworker had to do was to tell the guy to call me. Did he do that? No.
This buffoon would rather take personal offense over being inconvenienced by having to talk to an extra customer, than to do the right thing. He could have come and asked me. He could have told the customer that he would check and that one of us would get back to him. He could have done a lot of things rather than making this about his bruised ego. He chose the low road, which we all know is the road most travelled.
He whined to the boss about how I was abusing his valuable time and to the discredit of the boss, he took this ninny's petty complaint seriously.
"But hold on there Merle", you are probably saying, "aren't you doing the same thing in this post, taking it personally?"
Glad you asked. I'm not and here's why. I don't care what anyone thinks about me. I have worked for this joint for over 36 years and nothing they say or do is a threat to me. I fell off the corporate ladder quite a while ago. I check my ego at the door, at least as it concerns my job. The job is not personal, its a job and
if someone wants to cry to the boss rather than behaving like an adult, that's not my problem.
I gave the boss the old, "Yah, yah", and sent an email to the offendee, telling him I would go forth and sin no more, while subtly letting him know I think he is a jackass. Since he both young and a behemoth, it was real subtle. Subtlety may be lost on this guy anyway.
So he is another rule for life from your old pal Merle. Don't take crap personally, mostly it isn't about you. Things happen that annoy us, but it is rare that it is done intentionally. Solve the problem with the person who caused it, or better yet ignore it, and move on. Bosses have enough to screw up without adding to their workload.
In case you still think I am whining, you should probably be warned that I don't always follow my own advice, sorry. It is still fine advice, though.
Merle.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
I witnessed the sale of this little beauty today. I came around the corner and there was a guy with a 70's era Chevy Suburban backing this thing out of a rundown trailer park. After he got it out, a woman in shorts way too short and no shoes stood in the middle of the street and signed the title over to him. What the heck is he going to do with this monstrosity?
On to other matters. Wait, first I have to make an announcement.
"Will the owner of a gigantic ego report to the security desk? You left your indignation running."
I came back from my day's work to find a note taped to my computer monitor. It was from my boss and commanded me to report to him asap. I took the note and traipsed to his office trying to remember the worst thing I have done lately.
He asked why I had given the name and number of a particular coworker to one of my customers. It seems the customer had called said coworker, asking questions and Mr. Coworker was upset that he didn't have paperwork about the subject of the call (I am not making this up). I was inclined to ask if he was kidding me, but he seemed real serious.
Originally, my little project was supposed to be part of a bigger project that my coworker had. The bigger project got cancelled and my little deal was left on its own, but the customer still had the other guy's number to call. Trust me when I say this is no big deal. It is about my coworker having a box he operates in and I violated the box. Only a moron would think that I have nothing better to do than to think up elaborate ways to bother him. Heck, I bother most people in the simplest ways imaginable without even trying.
All my coworker had to do was to tell the guy to call me. Did he do that? No.
This buffoon would rather take personal offense over being inconvenienced by having to talk to an extra customer, than to do the right thing. He could have come and asked me. He could have told the customer that he would check and that one of us would get back to him. He could have done a lot of things rather than making this about his bruised ego. He chose the low road, which we all know is the road most travelled.
He whined to the boss about how I was abusing his valuable time and to the discredit of the boss, he took this ninny's petty complaint seriously.
"But hold on there Merle", you are probably saying, "aren't you doing the same thing in this post, taking it personally?"
Glad you asked. I'm not and here's why. I don't care what anyone thinks about me. I have worked for this joint for over 36 years and nothing they say or do is a threat to me. I fell off the corporate ladder quite a while ago. I check my ego at the door, at least as it concerns my job. The job is not personal, its a job and
if someone wants to cry to the boss rather than behaving like an adult, that's not my problem.
I gave the boss the old, "Yah, yah", and sent an email to the offendee, telling him I would go forth and sin no more, while subtly letting him know I think he is a jackass. Since he both young and a behemoth, it was real subtle. Subtlety may be lost on this guy anyway.
So he is another rule for life from your old pal Merle. Don't take crap personally, mostly it isn't about you. Things happen that annoy us, but it is rare that it is done intentionally. Solve the problem with the person who caused it, or better yet ignore it, and move on. Bosses have enough to screw up without adding to their workload.
In case you still think I am whining, you should probably be warned that I don't always follow my own advice, sorry. It is still fine advice, though.
Merle.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
Aug 14, 2006
On the Road to WalMart
My office is nestled between a municipal bus transfer station and an inner-city WalMart. Not a Super WalMart, just a plain old WalMart, really old. The patrons of this WalMart are largely lower middle-class folks or workers from the area. There are also quite a number of transients that frequent our WalMart. I go there because they have a Subway sandwich shop in the building and it is convenient for morning coffee and lunch. Plus occasionally the lovely Mrs. Sneed will ask me to get her some red cinnamon hard candy they sell there. Beyond that not much in WalMart interests me.
We are situated on the north edge of one of the highest crime areas of our fair city, so there is often police action in the vicinity. Beyond the river, just to our north, begins the "Foothills", a much richer area. The residents of the Foothills probably have people to go to WalMart for them.
Being in the footpath from the bus station to WalMart provides some unusual viewing. It is amazing how hard some people have to work to do stuff we take for granted. For most of us it is as simple as jumping into the car and heading off to shop when we please. A lot of folks have it much harder.
I saw a one-armed guy today smoking a cigarette while pushing a shopping cart loaded with merchandise toward the bus station. The cart kept veering to the right and he kept fighting it with his one arm, periodically pausing to take the cigarette from his mouth. He was being accompanied by a short rotund woman who was moving at glacial speed. About every ten feet he turned and shouted at her to hurry it up or they would miss the bus. She seemed unperturbed by his shouts.
When I came out of the WalMart with my lunch today there was a couple getting out of a cab. Who takes a cab to WalMart? Actually, I see this a lot and based on my observation, it is mostly the people who shouldn't. These two people looked as though they didn't have 2 nickels to rub together and here they were, taking a cab instead of the bus. I would bet you that they spent $30 to get to and from the WalMart. The bus is a buck each way.
I swear I am not making this up. There is a Best Buy electronics store down the block and last Christmas I saw a couple loading a TV, still in the box, into the trunk of a cab. The next day I saw the same people in front of Best Buy taking the TV, now in an opened box, out of a cab. Apparently, they were returning the set. I swear.
That reminds me of the time in Chicago when when the lovely Mrs. Sneed and I were taking the bus back from the Field Museum. It was a really hot Chicago summer day.
At a stop a really heavy guy starts throwing boxes, maybe about ten or so, onto the bus. He finally heaved himself on the bus and began to push the boxes down the aisle. He collapsed into the seat across from us and said, "It is a bitch moving on the bus." That's a guy who uses the resources available.
We also have a woman that passes by all the time in her motorized wheelchair. I've seen her in WalMart several times. She wears a headband, a tanktop and shorts. Her legs stick straight out in front of her. She looks like an inclusive Rambo action figure. I don't know how she souped-up this chair but I swear it goes about 25 miles per hour. She screams down the sidewalk and pedestrians had better beware because she isn't yielding. In the store she cuts down the speed some, but not much. Plus she is really mean.
I sometimes see two old women who are covered in tattoos. Not just any tattoos. One has her upper arm covered with alien-related stuff. She has tiny flying saucers, an alien with a big head and giant eyes, and the words "Area 51". Maybe she is Art Bell's mom. The other arm has Disney characters, including Mickey as Merlin the Magician and all three of Donald Duck's nephews. Her sidekick has a bunch of leg tattoos of a similar type, in addition to some on the arms. Very odd. They always have on shorts and sleeveless tops, so I am forced to stare. I'm often impolite that way.
The various dopeheads, drunks, petty criminals and assorted knuckleheads have figured out that they can grab merchandise and run out the garden department door with impunity. Hank, the world's oldest WalMart greeter, can only stand and thank them for shopping at WalMart as they whiz by. Having the bus station in close proximity makes for a convenient getaway.
And of course we have the freakishly tall, old doofus in the ill-fitting clothing... Wait, that's me, never mind.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
Aug 13, 2006
Consumers Are A Fickle Bunch
It occurred to me that when my uncle in Wisconsin dies (and he is 81 and in poor health), I will be the oldest living Sneed. Wait! That's not true, because the lovely Mrs. Sneed (even though she is a Sneed by marriage) is a couple of months older than me. Whew!
The Krispy Kreme stores in Arizona and New Mexico closed this week. The franchisee who owned them filed for bankruptcy. The employees on duty when the hammer fell, were told to punch out and get out. They are left with no job, no pay and no idea about what went wrong. It is a shame because Krispy Kreme actually pays pretty well for a retail carryout food joint. It was the end of an era, albeit a short one.
We consumers are a fickle bunch. Someone convinces someone that Krispy Kreme is what you want in a doughnut and the rush is on. At Krispy Kreme headquarters, the big cheese gets the idea to take a regional sensation and make it a national one by opening stores everywhere. Flush with success, the big cheese next decides that no grocery store is complete without a selection of prepackaged Krispy Kremes. A mysterious delight has become like our Uncle Vern, living in the spare room, too familiar and always there.
There is an old saying, "Familiarity breeds contempt." Once we could have a Krispy Kreme at our whim, they lost their allure. While we once convinced ourselves that Kripy Kremes were the Mercedes of doughnuts, now we see that doughnuts are just doughnuts, more or less. To make matters worse, those pesky Science in the Public Interest folks ramped up their campaign to keep us from eating tasty food. Business at the Krispy Kreme fell way off and you know the rest of the story. Consumers are a fickle bunch.
I do a lot of complaining and moaning about my job. I have been doing it for 37 plus years (both the job and the complaining), so it is sometimes hard to remain enthusiastic, or even interested. I do try to stay focused when it comes to customer service. People are trying to earn a living and don't need me mucking up the works.
There is nothing that makes a customer madder than to be treated badly, except perhaps to be made to feel unimportant. I always try to give my customers what they are paying for and a little more when I can.
This morning the Sneedlet and I went to the bagel store. We used to have a number of bagel shops in our fair city until this chain over ran everyone else. Not only are they the 900-pound gorilla, they are the only gorilla left. I think it shows.
When we got ready to pay, I asked for a large regular coffee. The youngster at the register got a cup and went to fill it. She turned to me and said, "We just ran out of regular coffee." She offered French Roast or Hazelnut. I chose French Roast. She turned to fill the cup and again, "We just ran out of that too." I bought Hazelnut. A nice touch would have been to give me the Hazelnut for free, as a gesture. But the kid is not empowered or trained to do that.
Correct me if I am wrong here, but I believe that breakfast is the cash crop for the bagel business. If the staff can't keep products available then, business is bound to suffer.
What, I wonder, is if they just ran out why wasn't anyone making more? And how did they just run out if no one was ahead of me to pay? The kid was standing at the register waiting for me. My guess is that the owner hammers the staff to curb costs and doesn't give them any latitude or training around customer service. Coffee is probably the most profitable item in a restaurant and having none to sell is inexcusable. Poor service is a function of poor management.
My guess is that the business model for this bagel chain boils down to this. Customers come in, we sell them bagels, we get them to leave. That works only so long as the customer continue to come in. Having items for sale is key to keeping them coming.
I am a fickle consumer and given the right circumstances I might move on.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
Aug 12, 2006
Saturdays With Sneedlet
Today is Sneedlet Two's birthday, he is three. His family is visiting relatives in San Diego, so we didn't see him. Sneedlet One, seen here, is going to be 3 in a month. Sneedlet One is daughter Sneed's child and Sneedlet Two is older son Sneed's boy. One doesn't outrank Two, it is just a way to differentiate between them.
This is the Sneedlet "helping" his grandfather clean the backyard. Sadie the Wonder Beagle ate all of the lovely Mrs. Sneed's drip irrigation tubing and I was fixing that, as well as general cleaning. Sneedlet mostly helped by getting in front of the hose as I tried to wash down the patio. I had no choice but to drench him.
Daughter Sneed had my painters at her house today, so I went to get Sneedlet early for his regular Saturday stay at grandma's.
After I picked him up, we went to Home Depot for some supplies, "stuff" as he calls it. This Home Depot is next to a movie theater, so he got the idea that we were going to the movies. He refused to be disuaded by me telling him we weren't. It turns out that I was wrong about the movie.
After we cleaned the yard, he and I went to the movies to see Barnyard. It was very good and kept him entertained except when he dozed off of a few minutes. He had "movie snacks", which is a kid's pack, containing popcorn, animal crackers and a Coke.
We stopped at the mall playground after the movie. This is the last shopping day before school starts in our fair city. Not to exaggerate or anything, but there were about a million people at the mall. Half of them had their kids in the playground, so it was shoulder to shoulder. Sneedlet didn't seem to mind.
Sneedlet just came in here with a handful of change that he took off his grandma's table. He is trying to convince me that his mom gave it to him for his "Happy Birthday". I think the kid is a con man.
Grandma has taught Sneedlet to shout "paid for" in response to the question, "what is Grandma's car?" He doesn't even know you have to pay for cars, but it is pretty funny to hear him say it. Plus it is never to early to learn to live within your means.
Merle.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
This is the Sneedlet "helping" his grandfather clean the backyard. Sadie the Wonder Beagle ate all of the lovely Mrs. Sneed's drip irrigation tubing and I was fixing that, as well as general cleaning. Sneedlet mostly helped by getting in front of the hose as I tried to wash down the patio. I had no choice but to drench him.
Daughter Sneed had my painters at her house today, so I went to get Sneedlet early for his regular Saturday stay at grandma's.
After I picked him up, we went to Home Depot for some supplies, "stuff" as he calls it. This Home Depot is next to a movie theater, so he got the idea that we were going to the movies. He refused to be disuaded by me telling him we weren't. It turns out that I was wrong about the movie.
After we cleaned the yard, he and I went to the movies to see Barnyard. It was very good and kept him entertained except when he dozed off of a few minutes. He had "movie snacks", which is a kid's pack, containing popcorn, animal crackers and a Coke.
We stopped at the mall playground after the movie. This is the last shopping day before school starts in our fair city. Not to exaggerate or anything, but there were about a million people at the mall. Half of them had their kids in the playground, so it was shoulder to shoulder. Sneedlet didn't seem to mind.
Sneedlet just came in here with a handful of change that he took off his grandma's table. He is trying to convince me that his mom gave it to him for his "Happy Birthday". I think the kid is a con man.
Grandma has taught Sneedlet to shout "paid for" in response to the question, "what is Grandma's car?" He doesn't even know you have to pay for cars, but it is pretty funny to hear him say it. Plus it is never to early to learn to live within your means.
Merle.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
Aug 11, 2006
Update
I am not making this up.
If you have read my rants more than once, you probably know that I have a low opinion of the people that read the local news. Not as people, but there is a difference between being smart and portraying smart on TV. Some of them aren't that good as protrayers (not an actual word).
I was just watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" and the contestant was a former news anchor, named Sally. Sally is 40ish and pretty easy on the eyes, as you might expect. She isn't that good of a portrayer though.
She had to use a lifeline to figure out that the equator passes through Africa, not Europe. Next question was the color of the Iraqi voters index finger signifying that they had voted. She had to ask the audience to get purple. However, she instantly knew that Matthew Mcsomebody was the 2005 People Magazine's Sexiest Man in the World.
It is no wonder that you can poll Americans and get any result you want.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
The New James Bond
I'm off work today. I am so happy.
Before I forget, TIVO is a brand name of a digital video recorder service. A smart VCR, if you will. A very nice reader from Australia asked me to clarify.
I read today that those suck-ups at Esquire magazine have named Daniel Craig, the English actor tabbed to be the new James Bond, as the world's most well-dressed man. How did I miss the list again?
(click on the image for full Merle-losity)
I have what I call Merle's Unified Theory of Clothing. My theory is that you should have a dozen or so pieces of clothing, half pants and half shirts, all interchangable. I always wear jeans and a pullover shirt and athletic shoes. That is unless I am going causal, I which case I wear jean shorts, a pullover shirt and flip flops. One less thing in life to think about.
I sometimes see a well-dressed man and think, "I should take more interest in my appearance." But clothes never fit me right and I would have to shop, spend money and would have to iron or go to the dry cleaners. No thanks, I will stick with the standard-issue Merle suit.
Well, I called my mortgage company today to see if they could fix the misapplication of my additional principal payment. The conversation went like this.
Them: Chase Mortgage, how may I help you?
Me: The additional principal payment that I sent was misapplied to my escrow account.
Them: Can I have you account number?
Me: Blah
Them: What is your mailing address?
Me: Blah, blah.
Them: Date of Birth?
Me: Blah, blah, blah.
Them: Thank you for verifying your account. What was the problem with your payment?
Me: The additional principal payment that I sent was misapplied to my escrow account instead of principal.
Them: And it wasn't supposed to go to escrow?
Me: No.
Them: Where should it have been applied?
Me: Principal.
Them: Do you intend to send in an escrow payment later?
Me: For what?
Them: Escrow.
Me: No. I always send in additional principal. I wasn't sending in an escrow payment. I wrote it on the line for additional principal on my coupon. You just raised my payment to cover the increase in taxes for next year. Now, you put my extra principal in escrow and lowered the payment again.
Them: Once it is credited to escrow it can't be reversed.
He: Then I'm stuck?
Them: I'll check.
Me: Check what?
Them: To see if there is anyway to reverse it.
Me: So you might be able to do it?
Them: I doubt it, but I will ask.
Me: Forget it.
Them: Is there anthing else I can do for you today?
Me: No.
Them: Thank you for calling Chase, and have a good day.
Me: Yeah.
Now I have to scrape up an additional $552 next month to get back on my schedule.
Merle
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
(click on the image for full Merle-losity)
I have what I call Merle's Unified Theory of Clothing. My theory is that you should have a dozen or so pieces of clothing, half pants and half shirts, all interchangable. I always wear jeans and a pullover shirt and athletic shoes. That is unless I am going causal, I which case I wear jean shorts, a pullover shirt and flip flops. One less thing in life to think about.
I sometimes see a well-dressed man and think, "I should take more interest in my appearance." But clothes never fit me right and I would have to shop, spend money and would have to iron or go to the dry cleaners. No thanks, I will stick with the standard-issue Merle suit.
Well, I called my mortgage company today to see if they could fix the misapplication of my additional principal payment. The conversation went like this.
Them: Chase Mortgage, how may I help you?
Me: The additional principal payment that I sent was misapplied to my escrow account.
Them: Can I have you account number?
Me: Blah
Them: What is your mailing address?
Me: Blah, blah.
Them: Date of Birth?
Me: Blah, blah, blah.
Them: Thank you for verifying your account. What was the problem with your payment?
Me: The additional principal payment that I sent was misapplied to my escrow account instead of principal.
Them: And it wasn't supposed to go to escrow?
Me: No.
Them: Where should it have been applied?
Me: Principal.
Them: Do you intend to send in an escrow payment later?
Me: For what?
Them: Escrow.
Me: No. I always send in additional principal. I wasn't sending in an escrow payment. I wrote it on the line for additional principal on my coupon. You just raised my payment to cover the increase in taxes for next year. Now, you put my extra principal in escrow and lowered the payment again.
Them: Once it is credited to escrow it can't be reversed.
He: Then I'm stuck?
Them: I'll check.
Me: Check what?
Them: To see if there is anyway to reverse it.
Me: So you might be able to do it?
Them: I doubt it, but I will ask.
Me: Forget it.
Them: Is there anthing else I can do for you today?
Me: No.
Them: Thank you for calling Chase, and have a good day.
Me: Yeah.
Now I have to scrape up an additional $552 next month to get back on my schedule.
Merle
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
Aug 10, 2006
Screwups Make Me Uncomfortable
Seeing as how I had to get up at 0-dark-thirty today, and had a chance to post this morning, any readers of my little blog get a twofer today. Like it or not.
This is a photo of my lunch. More days than not, I go to the Subway next door to my office and get a sandwich. Today I had a hankering for some Mexican grub. When you want Mexican food in my fair city there are a bunch of choices. When I say a bunch, I mean hundreds.
Fortunately for me, a place called Michas del Norte is close by my work. It is "del norte", because the original Michas is south of this location about 10 miles. They are run by different branches of the same family as I understand it. We use to go to a wonderful place called Mi Nidito (My Little Nest), but it is such a favorite of locals and their touristy guests that the wait is always an hour or more. So we go to Michas.
People here are very particular about their choices in Mexican restaurants. Mi Nidito patrons will wait an hour in the elements, rather than walking across to the Double L where there is no wait. They go to Mi Nidito. Some regular Double L customers would never consider walking down the block to one of the dozen other choices in the neighborhood. That is how it is.
This picture is of a number 9A off the menu. This is a very common way of organizing a menu in our Mexican restaurants, by number. A 9A is two green corn tamales, rice and beans. 9B is two beef tamales, rice and beans. I love Mexican food, even if I don't eat beef or pork. Green corn tamales are a seasonal dish and are "to die for", as Linda Richman would say.
On to the screwup.
Every month I pay $1000 toward the principal balance of my mortgage. I have an Excel spreadsheet that tells me how much I have to add to my scheduled principal payment to equal $1000. I bump up my payment by that much.
For example, last month my scheduled principal payment was $477.74. I added $522.36 to my payment and $1000 should have come off principal. There is a line on my payment coupon for me to write in the additional principal amount. For the last three years the system has worked flawlessly, until now.
Today when I got my receipt and next month's payment coupon, I discovered that the goofs at Chase applied my additional principal to my escrow account. So instead of owing exactly $58,000 on my home loan, I now owe $58,522.36. This throws my whole universe off.
Last month Chase notified me that my payment was increasing by $40 to make up for increased taxes. There was sufficent escrow withheld to pay this year's taxes, but next year is expected to be short by about $500. So, they applied the money to escrow and lowered my payment. Not by the $40, mind you, but by $20. Another mystery.
I tried to call them when I came home but they were closed. What annoys me is that I know they are going to tell me that I cannot pay additional principal while they are projecting an escrow shortage. My interest rate is 4.375%, so the additional interest this generates is peanuts. I can't live with the world off its axis like this.
I hate screwups.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
This is a photo of my lunch. More days than not, I go to the Subway next door to my office and get a sandwich. Today I had a hankering for some Mexican grub. When you want Mexican food in my fair city there are a bunch of choices. When I say a bunch, I mean hundreds.
Fortunately for me, a place called Michas del Norte is close by my work. It is "del norte", because the original Michas is south of this location about 10 miles. They are run by different branches of the same family as I understand it. We use to go to a wonderful place called Mi Nidito (My Little Nest), but it is such a favorite of locals and their touristy guests that the wait is always an hour or more. So we go to Michas.
People here are very particular about their choices in Mexican restaurants. Mi Nidito patrons will wait an hour in the elements, rather than walking across to the Double L where there is no wait. They go to Mi Nidito. Some regular Double L customers would never consider walking down the block to one of the dozen other choices in the neighborhood. That is how it is.
This picture is of a number 9A off the menu. This is a very common way of organizing a menu in our Mexican restaurants, by number. A 9A is two green corn tamales, rice and beans. 9B is two beef tamales, rice and beans. I love Mexican food, even if I don't eat beef or pork. Green corn tamales are a seasonal dish and are "to die for", as Linda Richman would say.
On to the screwup.
Every month I pay $1000 toward the principal balance of my mortgage. I have an Excel spreadsheet that tells me how much I have to add to my scheduled principal payment to equal $1000. I bump up my payment by that much.
For example, last month my scheduled principal payment was $477.74. I added $522.36 to my payment and $1000 should have come off principal. There is a line on my payment coupon for me to write in the additional principal amount. For the last three years the system has worked flawlessly, until now.
Today when I got my receipt and next month's payment coupon, I discovered that the goofs at Chase applied my additional principal to my escrow account. So instead of owing exactly $58,000 on my home loan, I now owe $58,522.36. This throws my whole universe off.
Last month Chase notified me that my payment was increasing by $40 to make up for increased taxes. There was sufficent escrow withheld to pay this year's taxes, but next year is expected to be short by about $500. So, they applied the money to escrow and lowered my payment. Not by the $40, mind you, but by $20. Another mystery.
I tried to call them when I came home but they were closed. What annoys me is that I know they are going to tell me that I cannot pay additional principal while they are projecting an escrow shortage. My interest rate is 4.375%, so the additional interest this generates is peanuts. I can't live with the world off its axis like this.
I hate screwups.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
Art D.
Some early morning musings as I wait to take my son to the airport.
One of my old high school teachers was in the obituaries today. He was 83. That means when I was a senior in high school he was only 45. Gosh, he seemed much older to me. I read that he was a decorated aviator in WWII. He had 7 kids, 22 grandkids and 7 great-grandkids and is survived by his wife of 60 years. Students rarely appreciate what guys like him give up to teach. He made a career of keeping kids like me from being knuckleheads for life. It looks to me like he went out on top.
Then, I read that an 81 year-old guy was arrested at the Nogales, Arizona point-of-entry for trying to smuggle 175 pounds of cocaine across the border in his car. There has to be more to this story. I guess he figured he had less to lose than the average smuggler. Maybe this fellow was a criminal all his life, but if not, what a revolting way to wind things up.
A couple of years ago two senior citizens were busted in the same area trying to smuggle drugs. The ladies turned out to have a serious casino habit as I recall. Apparently it is never too late to start a new career.
I talked to my son after he made it to California. He said the flight was delayed over an hour because of heightened security. They made him dispose of all his toiletries before he could clear security. Damn terrorists.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
Aug 9, 2006
Las Vegas
Yesterday I poked fun at Oro Valley, Arizona, a.k.a., Caddyshack. This photo is taken from the site I had to visit for my work. Oro Valley may be full of itself, but it is full of nice views too.
This is a plant called a Texas Ranger. It is used extesively for landscaping in the southwest because it loves the heat, needs little water and produces these nice blooms when the humidity is high, like now.
I just spent a couple of hours trying to arrange a two day trip for the lovely Mrs. Sneed and me in Las Vegas. Man what a chore. Las Vegas is so popular that it is getting hard to find a hotel room under $200 per night on the Strip. You can find some cheaper rates on the north part of the Strip, but the hotels are old and kind of dated.
I treid several hotel sites for prices and checked some sites like Hotels.com, Orbtiz, etc. Prices were high, even for mid-week.
I used Southwest Airlines Vacations, and thought I had a deal at the Mirage, but I could not get anything to book. I think their server must have been down. I finally gave up.
Next, I tried to Priceline a 5-star hotel for $125. No go. Usually they will counter offer around $150. They offered the Venetian for $221. No thanks. Then I tried a 4-star at $100. Nope. I used the lovely Mrs. Sneed's name and tried $120 for a 4-star. We got the Luxor, not our first choice.
We have been to Las Vegas a zillion times, but we have never stayed at the Luxor. It is too far south to suit me but what can you do. I also hear the rooms are small. We will see.
We have cool air service to Las Vegas. It is costing us $100 round-trip each, so that is pretty cheap. We love Southwest Air.
I have to be up a 4:00 am to go pick up older sond Sneed and take him to the airport. His wife and son are visiting relatives in San Diego and he is joining them Thursday. This means that for once I will get to work early. I hate when that happens.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
Aug 8, 2006
Caddyshack
Two examples of Oro Valley's idea of public art.
My workday today found me in the town of Oro Valley, Arizona. Oro Valley is a community in the northwest corner of the Tucson metro area, more or less.
Oro is a Spanish word, meaning gold, so the town name is literally Gold Valley in English. My thinking is that the town should be called Blanco Valley, or White Valley, because it is one of the whitest places you will find. Over 93% of the town's population of about 30,000 was white, according to the 2000 census data. The town is now approaching 40,000 citizens and there have been no developments that would lead a reasonable person to suspect that the 93% white ratio has fallen any.
In a county where 1/3 of the citizens are Hispanic, Oro Valley boasts a permanent Hispanic population of only 7%. Of course during the day the Hispanic population swells as new homes are built and yards are tended. Oro Valley is statistically whiter than our most famous whitey city, Scottsdale.
Not only is the town very white, its citizens are older, richer and better educated than the county averages. They are less likely to be employed, because so many are retirees. Only 1 in 50 residents lives below the poverty level in contrast with 1 in 7 in the county as a whole. Oro Valley has no public housing and almost no group housing. Oro Valley is an island of affluence, and they intend to keep it that way.
The town has a swell vision statement that has a lot of words but can be summed up as, "If you have money, we want you." Their strategy is to annex anything with a revenue base that they can. They are in perennial competition with their arch-nemesis, Marana, Arizona, to see who can scarf up what.
A few years ago some rural types, caught between these two annexation monsters, tried in vain to form a town called Tortolita. The residents of Tortolita hoped to create a DMZ and thus avoid being gobbled up. They were crushed by the crack legal teams representing Oro Valley and Marana.
Oro Valley's current big development idea involves a huge upscale shopping center. I'm certain that it will maintain, "the highest standard of environmental integrity", to quote from the town's vision statement. That is, right after they blade off the land to build the sucker.
One thing they do that is interesting is that any commercial project with public access (grocery store, hospital, etc.) built for $50,000 or more, must set aside 1% of the cost for public art. Oro valley loves its public art, they even have a public art committee. Unfortunately, art is in the eye of the beholder and much of their public art seems to be random stuff plunked about.
The two examples above are behind a Walgreens Drug Store. They are basically in the desert and scare the pants off you, if you happen to wander behind the store and don't know they are there. Eventually, these pieces ( 2 of a set of 4) will be in the midst of a larger commercial complex. At the moment they are stuck in the wilderness. You put these beauties in most places in our county and they would be defaced in a nanosecond. Oro Valley doesn't have those sort of people.
Since the town has nothing that would pass for real crime, its crack police force spends much of its time handing out speeding tickets. They especially love to nab motorist on the state highway that passes through their fine town. Before the town figured out that they could make big money annexing commercial projects, they made a big chunk of the town revenues via speed traps.
They always seem to be fighting amongst themselves in Oro Valley. Everyone in town appears to have an opinion of what passes for paradise, so conflicts abound. Plus, there are a lot of retired bigshots in the town who are used to getting their own way. Since the only place you can get anything you want is at Alice's Restaurant, not Oro Valley, they have a history of resorting to recalls and petition drives to sort things out. For several years it seemed as though they would no sooner finish tossing out one bunch, than someone would mount a drive to banish the new ones. This at least keeps them from bothering the rest of us.
One of the alternative weekly papers dubbed Oro Valley "Caddyshack". That about sums it up.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
My workday today found me in the town of Oro Valley, Arizona. Oro Valley is a community in the northwest corner of the Tucson metro area, more or less.
Oro is a Spanish word, meaning gold, so the town name is literally Gold Valley in English. My thinking is that the town should be called Blanco Valley, or White Valley, because it is one of the whitest places you will find. Over 93% of the town's population of about 30,000 was white, according to the 2000 census data. The town is now approaching 40,000 citizens and there have been no developments that would lead a reasonable person to suspect that the 93% white ratio has fallen any.
In a county where 1/3 of the citizens are Hispanic, Oro Valley boasts a permanent Hispanic population of only 7%. Of course during the day the Hispanic population swells as new homes are built and yards are tended. Oro Valley is statistically whiter than our most famous whitey city, Scottsdale.
Not only is the town very white, its citizens are older, richer and better educated than the county averages. They are less likely to be employed, because so many are retirees. Only 1 in 50 residents lives below the poverty level in contrast with 1 in 7 in the county as a whole. Oro Valley has no public housing and almost no group housing. Oro Valley is an island of affluence, and they intend to keep it that way.
The town has a swell vision statement that has a lot of words but can be summed up as, "If you have money, we want you." Their strategy is to annex anything with a revenue base that they can. They are in perennial competition with their arch-nemesis, Marana, Arizona, to see who can scarf up what.
A few years ago some rural types, caught between these two annexation monsters, tried in vain to form a town called Tortolita. The residents of Tortolita hoped to create a DMZ and thus avoid being gobbled up. They were crushed by the crack legal teams representing Oro Valley and Marana.
Oro Valley's current big development idea involves a huge upscale shopping center. I'm certain that it will maintain, "the highest standard of environmental integrity", to quote from the town's vision statement. That is, right after they blade off the land to build the sucker.
One thing they do that is interesting is that any commercial project with public access (grocery store, hospital, etc.) built for $50,000 or more, must set aside 1% of the cost for public art. Oro valley loves its public art, they even have a public art committee. Unfortunately, art is in the eye of the beholder and much of their public art seems to be random stuff plunked about.
The two examples above are behind a Walgreens Drug Store. They are basically in the desert and scare the pants off you, if you happen to wander behind the store and don't know they are there. Eventually, these pieces ( 2 of a set of 4) will be in the midst of a larger commercial complex. At the moment they are stuck in the wilderness. You put these beauties in most places in our county and they would be defaced in a nanosecond. Oro Valley doesn't have those sort of people.
Since the town has nothing that would pass for real crime, its crack police force spends much of its time handing out speeding tickets. They especially love to nab motorist on the state highway that passes through their fine town. Before the town figured out that they could make big money annexing commercial projects, they made a big chunk of the town revenues via speed traps.
They always seem to be fighting amongst themselves in Oro Valley. Everyone in town appears to have an opinion of what passes for paradise, so conflicts abound. Plus, there are a lot of retired bigshots in the town who are used to getting their own way. Since the only place you can get anything you want is at Alice's Restaurant, not Oro Valley, they have a history of resorting to recalls and petition drives to sort things out. For several years it seemed as though they would no sooner finish tossing out one bunch, than someone would mount a drive to banish the new ones. This at least keeps them from bothering the rest of us.
One of the alternative weekly papers dubbed Oro Valley "Caddyshack". That about sums it up.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
Aug 7, 2006
How Did A Nice Guy like Me Wind Up Here?
First things first. I was listening to the Onion Radio News today and the title of the report was, Man Forced to Witness His Own $10 Haircut. Well, I get my hair cut for $9. What's the damn joke here?
Years ago, I was the head of a department of 35 salaried and a load of hourly employees (the question of who in their right mind would put me in charge is another post, for another time). Anyway, the big wheels lording over my department from headquarters, decided that 9 of the salaried folks had to go due to changes in the needs of the business. The matter fell to me to administer. I made a list, ranking them from 1 through 35, worst to best, and turned it in to Human Resources.
The actual selection of the 9 was not that difficult. We had about that many known screwups. Oh sure, you could haggle about number 8 and 9 and make the case that they were more deserving than, say 10 and 11, but ultimately you were arguing about shades of grey. No one really got too excited by the whole event, except the nine people who were out scout, as they say.
The big wheels were evidently afraid that someone would go postal on us, so they made me and my boss meet the chosen few at a neutral, offsite location to give them their paperwork and get their keys, IDs, etc. After we notified the first couple of people, my boss turned to me and said, "How did a couple of nice guys like us wind up here?" That is the question I had to ask myself this morning.
Today was the day that I got my Order of Protection (OOP) against my son, the drug addict. You may wish read yesterday's post for the details.
The first thing I discovered at the city court building is that there is a special department for OOPs. There must be a lot of people seeking them. Also as you can see from the picture above, they have a nice big sign on the door, so that everyone who passes by looks at the sign and then at the schmucks sitting inside. Just what I needed. One guy waved at me through the glass and when I waved back, he came in and started talking to me like we were friends. I have no idea who he was.
The second thing I learned is that we have Order of Protection against people we are related to, former spouses, people we have lived with or someone with whom we have a child. Injunctions Against Harrassment (IAH) for everyone else. The need for the difference remains unclear, at least to me.
I also discovered that I would henceforth be known as the plaintiff, which has it all over being the defendant, it turns out.
When I arrived there were several other people in the waiting area. I went to the counter and the clerk gave me some papers to fill out with the particulars of my case. It took about ten minutes to finish them. There is a sign saying that it will take from 10 minutes to 1 hour to complete the paperwork. I guess that puts me in the top 1 percent of plantiffs, not that I am bragging or anything.
There is also a sign saying the whole process might take up to three hours. one saying not to enter the locked door and several advising us to turn off cell phones. Bureaucrats love to tape signs to the walls.
The waiting area was a good-sized room, with a table and chairs that can seat eight. Around the perimeter of the room chairs were lined up against the wall. One end of the room is a counter with thick glass. The court staff sits behind thick glass and you talk to them through round grates in the glass. Evidently, if trouble breaks out, it is staying on our side of the glass. I half expected an enraged husband to burst through the door screaming, "Loretta, I told you you wasn't gettin' no 'strainin' order on me you b***h." But it was pretty quiet.
There is a locked door that leads to the judge. He doesn't preside in a courtroom, but rather in an office. He sits on one side of his desk and you on the other, while you discuss your case with him. Then he issues an OOP, or less often an Injuction Against Harrassment.
When I arrived at 10 am, there was an middle-aged couple sitting at the table reading, just like they were at the library. They never spoke and never looked up until their name was called. The woman went to talk to the judge. The guy just kept reading. It turned out that they were father and daughter and she was getting an OOP against someone, maybe a husband.
There was a young couple, she in medical scrubs and he in a gangster outfit. She was getting an OOP or is it an IAH, against her former boyfriend and he was the new boyfriend. Here's a dating tip from your old pal Merle. If your current girlfriend asks you to go with her to get an OOP or IAH against the old boyfriend, run for it. They huddled in the corner groping one another inappropriately, while they waited. When I say groping, I mean hands under the clothes, giggling, GROPING!!! I would have complained but I would have to shout through the grate and gangster man and I were on the same side of the glass. So I just looked away...mostly. Ain't love grand?
There was another 50ish guy waiting to get an OOP against his bum son. He was pleasant enough except he when had a long, loud discussion with the clerk about how they typed a CH in his name when it should be CK. The bulletproof glass made it difficult for them to communicate. Then he sat near me and explained that he has been fighting this CH vs. CK thing his whole life. Evidently, he has had just about enough.
One woman, seeking an order against her husband, brought her mother for moral support. After the plaintiff did her paperwork, she brought out a makeup kit and spent a half hour applying a new coat of paint to the old chassis. It never hurts for a gal to look her best, even in court.
Another woman came in and picked up her paperwork. She had a binder full of notes and a Daytimer. Apparently, she had plenty of documentation against someone. I would later find out that you don't really need much data to get an OOP. They pretty much hand them out and it is up to the defendant to get it tossed if it is bogus. I guess the court errs on the side of caution.
Lastly, three women showed up, one with a newborn. The other two were advocates from a women's shelter and they were there to help get an order against a bum husband who had beaten her up. She had blood all over her shorts. The clerk told them that they were too late for the morning session and that they would have to come back at 1:00 pm. They left.
When the judge finally called me in, we spoke briefly about the particulars of my situation. He issued an order that my son can't call, write, communicate through a third party, come within 1000 feet of my home, car or place of business. The problem is how do you serve a restraining order on a homeless guy?
When my son called me later today, I told him about the order. He said I was being ridiculous. I told him that he is welcome to call me when he is in a program, and not until. I gave him the old, "Its for your own good" speech. We will see how that works.
How did a nice guy like me wind up in this mess?
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
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