I walked over to get coffee this morning and I cut through the Walmart garden department to get in the air conditioned store as fast as I could.
Carol, the garden department cashier, was having a conversation about the item pictured above. It is a ceramic statue of a kid being pushed in a wagon by another kid. Evidently, you are supposed to put this in your yard. The picture was hurried because I was afraid that the crack Walmart security staff would bust me for taking pictures in the store, so I apologize for the quality.
Carol: "Aren't these cute?
Customer: "I love it. I brought one in the other store and my daughter and my sister liked them so much, that I went back to get one for them too. They were sold out so I came over here."
Carol: "Oh, we have a lot of them, lucky for you."
Customer: "They are on sale for such a good price."
A good price would be a free large Coke for each one you knock off the shelf, but...The sign on the dispay said they were on sale for nine buck, marked down from thirteen. I have two words about this thing. Butt-ugly. Maybe one compound word.
I invite you to stroll through the Walmart garden section. It is a museum of bad taste. Don't even get me started on the idiotic gazing balls.
I won something similar in a charity event once. It was first prize in a raffle. Second prize was two of them. Thank you folks, thank you very much. I'll be appearing here all week.
I suppose this customer may operate a string of minature golf courses and need replacements for gnomes that have been beaten to dust by unruly golfers, but I fear she thinks this passes for a home improvement. I guess the "park" can always use another lawn gnome or two. You know right next to the kid's wading pool and in front of the picnic table Junior made out of eight old tires and a broken door.
Now I am just being mean. Someone stop me.
I had a bad day at work today, so I am not my usual chipper self. Some days I just can't get motivated. Plus, you may have read that construction is slowing way down, so it is slow. I bore easily and the IT dorks keep blocking the websites we can access from the company computers. What's a guy to do?
I went out today to check on some building projects that I have to work on. Basically that means driving around more or less aimlessly. That killed about three hours. I got back at 1:10pm and made a mental note that I only had to kill 2 hours and 50 minutes until I could leave with a clear conscience. The construction business in Arizona slows way down after noon, so afternoons are just brutal for me. There used to be a couch in an unused portion of our floor and I could sneak a nap in the afternoons, but someone moved it. Even I am not good enough to sleep in an upright position at my desk. Plus I snore so it is not easy to catch a few winks undetected in my cubicle.
Anyway, I worked on some database cleanup, did some paperwork, talked to a few customers, listened to a podcast on my Ipod and wandered around bothering people in the office. Finally, at 3:45pm I gave up and came home.
It is tough when your job feels like you are bieng held hostage for 8 hours a day. I really need to find something else to do, but I have a problem. I don't want to work nights, weekends or Fridays. I also need to take a few days off now and again.
So far, I haven't found that new job.
My boss sent a voice mail to all of us in his group telling us that the company would like us to visit our neighbors to solicit new business. Hold on, I need to check out the window to see if donkeys are flying. Nope, no flying donkeys so I guess I decline.
On the bright side, I am not working Fridays for the rest of the year. Wait, I mean I am not attending work on Fridays for the rest of the year. So that is really good.
I hope to be less cranky tomorrow.
Merle
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
Aug 17, 2006
No Home Like A Gnome Home
As hard as I try to be a decent and civil guy, I can't keep the slack-jawed, drooling baboon within me from rearing his ugly head.
I walked over to get coffee this morning and I cut through the Walmart garden department to get in the air conditioned store as fast as I could.
Carol, the garden department cashier, was having a conversation about the item pictured above. It is a ceramic statue of a kid being pushed in a wagon by another kid. Evidently, you are supposed to put this in your yard. The picture was hurried because I was afraid that the crack Walmart security staff would bust me for taking pictures in the store, so I apologize for the quality.
Carol: "Aren't these cute?
Customer: "I love it. I brought one in the other store and my daughter and my sister liked them so much, that I went back to get one for them too. They were sold out so I came over here."
Carol: "Oh, we have a lot of them, lucky for you."
Customer: "They are on sale for such a good price."
A good price would be a free large Coke for each one you knock off the shelf, but...The sign on the dispay said they were on sale for nine buck, marked down from thirteen. I have two words about this thing. Butt-ugly. Maybe one compound word.
I invite you to stroll through the Walmart garden section. It is a museum of bad taste. Don't even get me started on the idiotic gazing balls.
I won something similar in a charity event once. It was first prize in a raffle. Second prize was two of them. Thank you folks, thank you very much. I'll be appearing here all week.
I suppose this customer may operate a string of minature golf courses and need replacements for gnomes that have been beaten to dust by unruly golfers, but I fear she thinks this passes for a home improvement. I guess the "park" can always use another lawn gnome or two. You know right next to the kid's wading pool and in front of the picnic table Junior made out of eight old tires and a broken door.
Now I am just being mean. Someone stop me.
I had a bad day at work today, so I am not my usual chipper self. Some days I just can't get motivated. Plus, you may have read that construction is slowing way down, so it is slow. I bore easily and the IT dorks keep blocking the websites we can access from the company computers. What's a guy to do?
I went out today to check on some building projects that I have to work on. Basically that means driving around more or less aimlessly. That killed about three hours. I got back at 1:10pm and made a mental note that I only had to kill 2 hours and 50 minutes until I could leave with a clear conscience. The construction business in Arizona slows way down after noon, so afternoons are just brutal for me. There used to be a couch in an unused portion of our floor and I could sneak a nap in the afternoons, but someone moved it. Even I am not good enough to sleep in an upright position at my desk. Plus I snore so it is not easy to catch a few winks undetected in my cubicle.
Anyway, I worked on some database cleanup, did some paperwork, talked to a few customers, listened to a podcast on my Ipod and wandered around bothering people in the office. Finally, at 3:45pm I gave up and came home.
It is tough when your job feels like you are bieng held hostage for 8 hours a day. I really need to find something else to do, but I have a problem. I don't want to work nights, weekends or Fridays. I also need to take a few days off now and again.
So far, I haven't found that new job.
My boss sent a voice mail to all of us in his group telling us that the company would like us to visit our neighbors to solicit new business. Hold on, I need to check out the window to see if donkeys are flying. Nope, no flying donkeys so I guess I decline.
On the bright side, I am not working Fridays for the rest of the year. Wait, I mean I am not attending work on Fridays for the rest of the year. So that is really good.
I hope to be less cranky tomorrow.
Merle
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
I walked over to get coffee this morning and I cut through the Walmart garden department to get in the air conditioned store as fast as I could.
Carol, the garden department cashier, was having a conversation about the item pictured above. It is a ceramic statue of a kid being pushed in a wagon by another kid. Evidently, you are supposed to put this in your yard. The picture was hurried because I was afraid that the crack Walmart security staff would bust me for taking pictures in the store, so I apologize for the quality.
Carol: "Aren't these cute?
Customer: "I love it. I brought one in the other store and my daughter and my sister liked them so much, that I went back to get one for them too. They were sold out so I came over here."
Carol: "Oh, we have a lot of them, lucky for you."
Customer: "They are on sale for such a good price."
A good price would be a free large Coke for each one you knock off the shelf, but...The sign on the dispay said they were on sale for nine buck, marked down from thirteen. I have two words about this thing. Butt-ugly. Maybe one compound word.
I invite you to stroll through the Walmart garden section. It is a museum of bad taste. Don't even get me started on the idiotic gazing balls.
I won something similar in a charity event once. It was first prize in a raffle. Second prize was two of them. Thank you folks, thank you very much. I'll be appearing here all week.
I suppose this customer may operate a string of minature golf courses and need replacements for gnomes that have been beaten to dust by unruly golfers, but I fear she thinks this passes for a home improvement. I guess the "park" can always use another lawn gnome or two. You know right next to the kid's wading pool and in front of the picnic table Junior made out of eight old tires and a broken door.
Now I am just being mean. Someone stop me.
I had a bad day at work today, so I am not my usual chipper self. Some days I just can't get motivated. Plus, you may have read that construction is slowing way down, so it is slow. I bore easily and the IT dorks keep blocking the websites we can access from the company computers. What's a guy to do?
I went out today to check on some building projects that I have to work on. Basically that means driving around more or less aimlessly. That killed about three hours. I got back at 1:10pm and made a mental note that I only had to kill 2 hours and 50 minutes until I could leave with a clear conscience. The construction business in Arizona slows way down after noon, so afternoons are just brutal for me. There used to be a couch in an unused portion of our floor and I could sneak a nap in the afternoons, but someone moved it. Even I am not good enough to sleep in an upright position at my desk. Plus I snore so it is not easy to catch a few winks undetected in my cubicle.
Anyway, I worked on some database cleanup, did some paperwork, talked to a few customers, listened to a podcast on my Ipod and wandered around bothering people in the office. Finally, at 3:45pm I gave up and came home.
It is tough when your job feels like you are bieng held hostage for 8 hours a day. I really need to find something else to do, but I have a problem. I don't want to work nights, weekends or Fridays. I also need to take a few days off now and again.
So far, I haven't found that new job.
My boss sent a voice mail to all of us in his group telling us that the company would like us to visit our neighbors to solicit new business. Hold on, I need to check out the window to see if donkeys are flying. Nope, no flying donkeys so I guess I decline.
On the bright side, I am not working Fridays for the rest of the year. Wait, I mean I am not attending work on Fridays for the rest of the year. So that is really good.
I hope to be less cranky tomorrow.
Merle
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
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1 comment:
Rosie,
You are right. I've worked there for 37 years. I quit once but made the mistake of going back for the money.
Merle
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