When you work retail you meet a lots of jerks. Merle Wayne Sneed's first rule of jerks is that if you think you've met the biggest jerk alive, you're wrong. Case in point.

I'm sorry if this post seems arrogant, because I'm not an arrogant guy. I just don't suffer fools easily.

Bright and early this morning, I got a call over to the radio at work to assist a customer in finding some screws. Sure enough, when I got to the hardware aisle there was guy waiting for me.

He said he wanted some screws and was quite specific about what he wanted. It was specific gibberish, but specific.

This fellow is about 50ish and apparently is the manager, or more likely, the assistant manager of a used sporting goods store near us, given his swell store shirt.

He said he wanted 1/8" x 1" fine tread screws, with threads all the way to the top. I got him something close to what he was asking for. I say close because his description wasn't real specific, even though it might seem like it was.

"Those", he snapped at me, "are not what I want. He said that the screws he needed don't have a point on the end.

"Oh, you want bolts then?"

Yes, he wanted bolts, plus two washers per bolt and nuts to fit the bolts.

I set about gathering his hardware and putting two washers on each bolt and then a nut on each. He snapped at me again, telling me to just put them in a bag because he was in a hurry.

In the process of bagging the items I dropped a nine cent washer on the floor and it rolled away and out of sight. The guy started to look for it and I told him not to sweat it. Actually what I said was, "The janitor will get it."

He said something to me that was drown out by by the assistant manager going by with a noisy stocking cart. Plus I'm hard of hearing, especially with the radio earpiece in.

The guy repeated what he said, but all I heard was "...worked for me, I'd fire..."

"Fired for what", I asked?

"For what...said", he replied.

"What did he say?"

"Not him, you", he tells me.

"What did I say?"

"You said, leave it for the janitor. If you worked for me, I'd fire you."

This was the point at which I lost my vision due to the blood rushing to my eyes. Here was some dip shit loser, who has bungled his way into the management ranks of a used sporting goods store telling me that he would fire me.

The dumbo can't tell a screw from a bolt, but he is a fricking captain of industry.

How often have you had words with someone and then only after leaving, thought of the perfect rejoinder? Well, I thought of one before I left, for once.

I looked him right in the eye and said, "Guys like you don't get to fire guys like me."

He response was to say he would at least suspend me. Dumber that a box of rocks.

I explained to him that I work in the hardware store because it is interesting and keeps me busy, not because I need some piss ant retail job. I fact, I added, I have a lot of skills and can fix most things. I'm of more value to the store than it is to me. So, if a guy like you tried to fire a guy like me I would be out the door before you could get half the words out and never give you another thought.

Then I said, "You have 30 pieces at nine cents and ten pieces at ten cents. Tell the cashier you owe her $ 3.70."

I can't wait for the next time I see him.










Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

"God give us grace, to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things that should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other."--Reinhold Niebuhr

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can change, And wisdom to know the difference.--Reinhold Niebuhr
more common version

Merle Wayne Sneed doesn't subscribe to the idea of a personal God. But you already now that. So, you might ask, what is up with the quote?

God or not, there is a lot of wisdom in those words. More than one Sneed has used those thoughts to help him break the grip of addiction. Those simple words have amazing transformative powers.

But this isn't about addiction. It is about accepting the things I cannot change. I have the courage to change the things I can in life, that is not my problem. It is dealing with the things I cannot change and moving beyond my disappointment, that cause me problems.

As a boy growing up in a terribly dysfunctional home, I coped with my daily disappointments by telling myself that it just didn't matter or that I didn't want "that" anyway. You can't hurt me, if I don't care and if I tell myself enough times that I don't care, maybe I won't.

Acceptance can be a bitter pill.

I cannot get into the specifics, but Mrs. Sneed and I are facing a huge disappointment in our lives and we are struggling, each in our own way, with how we will deal with it.

How does one find the serenity to accept the things he cannot change, when that change breaks his heart? I wish I knew that.

People do what they do for their own reasons, sometimes without regard for the collateral damage their decisions cause. Other times people do what they do for perfectly good reasons and hurt is just an unfortunate byproduct.

In the end, I have a right to my anger, my disappointment, my hurt, my point of view. I have a right to express my concerns, my reservations, to list the reasons that something is not a good idea. But, I'm only entitled to live my life, not yours.

And that's the rub.










Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

As promised the much-awaited Halloween pix. A word of warning first.

My head is the size of China. I can't help it. Clicking to enlarge my picture may make your computer screen bulge out. Do it at your own peril.


This is me and my hippy old lady.


Here she is again, this time without my giant noggin casting a shadow.


Andy Warhol, I presume?


Andy along with Marilyn (It is really Aiden and his terribly clever Mom).


Aiden's dad was a very good sport, even though he was, and I quote "boiling". Aiden's mom made the can of soup costume.






Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

Many people wonder if the Sneed family got many trick or treaters this year? I personally couldn't tell you because we weren't home.

Our son and daughter-in-law threw a big Halloween bash, which was actually a cover for a dual surprise birthday party for Daughter-in-Law Sneed's parents, who both turned 60 around now.

So, trick or treaters, if any, were met with a darken door at Casa Sneed. No tricks were in evidence, so if they came here, they took our absence in stride.

Our Son and his family live in a neighborhood of young families, so they had about a zillion kids pounding on the door. It all evens out.

Daughter-in-Law Sneed is a very creative woman. Actually, calling her very creative is like saying Einstein had an interest in physics.

Aiden was dressed as Andy Warhol, his mom, as Marilyn and his dad as a giant can of Campbell's soup. They were fabulous. Somehow, the pictures are missing, but we hope to find them soon.

Mrs. Sneed and I went as a couple of old hippies. We are, after all, a couple and old. The hippie part was a breeze.

I'll post the pictures as soon as we figure out who has some.



Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

People are wondering how this no Saturday at the hardware store is working out? Well, it worked beautifully for two weeks.

Then, just when I was getting used to it, the kid who absolutely couldn't live with his hours being cut and wanted mine, asked for the next two Saturday's off. So, I have to work for him.

I suspect that this is going to be the pattern for the near term. I get some Saturdays off, but not all of them. I guess some time off is better than none.

When I arrived at work today, I noticed a tricked out Cadillac Escalade idling in front of the store, with a young woman in the passenger seat. And by tricked out, I mean garish, gaudy, tasteless, ridiculous-looking, take your pick. But then again, I'm a sixty-year-old geezer, what do I know from hip?

I made it to the back of the store just in time to see the car's owner leaving the key counter. He fit the car to a tee. Sweat suit over a wife-beater and about ten pounds of gold jewerly. Right out of central casting.

One of my coworkers was gaga over the guy's watch, which reportedly cost $20K. He also managed to drop in conversation that his Escalade cost him $90K, including a $30K sound system. I would love to know that guy's whole story.









Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

The usual suspects and I got to play golf at one of the very fine golf resorts here in Hooterville. And better yet, we got to play for free.

The owner of the hardware store made some sort of donation to a fundraiser and in exchange he got free golf at this joint. He isn't a golfer, but he heard I am, so he gave the freebie to me.

We have been putting off using the pass because the resort is way the heck, 20 miles across town and in Hooterville, that means way across town without the benefit of freeways. Hootervillians don't believe in freeways. We have paved most of the streets, though.

Unfortunately, today was the coldest day of the year thus far and even though our tee time was 10:15 am, it was windy and cold. And it was crowded. There was some kind of women's golf club event and the pace of play was at a glacial pace for those of us behind them.

The Seafood King has been under the weather for a couple of weeks, so he moaned and groaned about the cold, the slowness of play and how sick he felt, until I finally suggested we call it a day at the 10th hole. That suggestion passed unanimously.

We headed back to the clubhouse and had lunch in the restaurant there. Except for poor Some Guy Named Bob, who managed to get lost trying to find his way back. We got a table overlooking the first hole and I tried to guide him in via cellphone. Not that easy when his response to my "where are you?", is "I have no idea."

By the time our lunch arrived, Some Guy Named Bob had flagged down a maintenance worker and the fellow lead him back to safety.

All's well that ends well.




Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

I just paid off my house. Why do I feel like I am trading a house payment for a health insurance payment?--A Tedious Systems Retiree

November, that time of year when we get to make those important decisions about our health insurance. You know, like deciding whether we dare just drop it and hope for the best? A a minimum what do we sacrifice to be able to pay the increased premium?

I just got my renewal packet from Tedious Systems for 2010. I know that I'm fortunate to have access to group insurance, but that knowledge does little to ease the bite of ever-increasing higher premiums.

The increase in monthly premium as a whole, including the Tedious Systems portion and my share, increased 7.5%. Not the end of the world, except that Tedious Systems capped their contribution a few years back. Health insurance costs may rise in the future, but Tedious won't be picking up any of the increases.

So, the entire increase gets paid by me. I'm not saying that is unfair, but that doesn't make it a walk in the park either. Luckily, Mrs. Sneed has her own insurance though her employer. Her employer is very generous.

In real terms, my increase in heath insurance premiums for 2010 is 28.5%. In dollars it is less onerous, $60 a month, but $60 a month is nothing to sneeze at.

To make matters worse, virtually every copay associated with my coverage is up dramatically too. That actually happened beginning in 2009, 2010 remains to be seen.

My prescription copays went up 50%, doctor's visits 25%, visits to my dermatologist 60%.

The worse part is that the focus of the big government push for health care reform seems to be on getting more people insured and less about the runaway costs.

All I can say is that I hope I die before I get really sick.

Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

Always tell the truth. That way, you don't have to remember what you said.--Mark Twain.

Anyone interested in getting on a commercial airliner with a couple of pilots who forget they are flying a plane? Not me.

The latest version of "the truth" from the two wayward aviators who took an airliner full of passengers on an unscheduled aerial tour of Wisconsin, while trying to find Minneapolis, is that they we engrossed in playing with a scheduling program on their laptops.

Not to worry though, they we above 10,000 feet, so the use of portable electronic devices is okay. Oh wait, it is never okay to use a laptop if you are flying the plane, according to the FAA anyway.

As a side note, I don't think that there is any real science behind the prohibition of portable electronic devices below 10,000 ft., but that is for another day.

Anyway, I'm reminded of a story that Tom Peters once told in a seminar.

We have the technology to takeoff, fly and land jet airliners by computer. There is no need for a human pilot.

However, people won't fly on a plane without a pilot, so the airline cockpit crew of the future will include a pilot and a vicious dog. The pilot will be there to reassure the passengers and the dog will be there to bite the pilot, should he touch the controls.














Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

I'm not your friend anymore.

You're not my friend, you're my cousin.

Okay, I'm not your cousin anymore.

You can't quit being my cousin, you'll always be my cousin.

--Noah and Aiden having an argument.

Bella Rum commented that I should write a snappy letter to the editor, seeing as how I have so many great opinions and all. Or maybe she just figured it would keep me from blogging about my complaints.

I quit writing those letters years ago because (a) no one cares, and (b) sometimes you hear from the a-holes that you write about. Case in point.

Many years ago, a fellow on the Hooterville city council got himself in a jam because when he took out of town trips on city business, he treated himself like a rock star. He spent the city's money like it was going out of style. He did all the things he always wanted to do, but that his civilian lifestyle, one fueled by his piss-ant teacher's salary, otherwise precluded.

To make matters worse, he was found to be charging his expense to his City credit card and then also submitting the same expenses to the City for reimbursement.

Eventually, someone in government tipped off the Hooterville Daily Dish about his antics and they took him to task, front page style.

His response was to claim that there was no written guidance to help him in making these hard spending choices, so he just spent whatever occurred to him. Not exactly his words, but his meaning.

This caused yours truly to fire off a letter to editor, in which I recalled an incident where my mom sent me to the grocery store for something and I decided to spend her change on candy. After that, she sent me with exact change. I wondered in my letter if the City might not want to consider giving Mr. Important City Council Guy exact change on future trips.

I was quite pleased with myself.

The day after the letter appeared, Mrs. Sneed called me at work to say that Mr. Important City Council Guy had called our house in an agitated state demanding to speak with me and making vague threats.

In the course of his conversation with Mrs. Sneed, he demanded to know where I worked and to be given my work number. She refused to give him the number but did tell him I worked at Tedious Systems.

So I called the City Council office and asked to speak to him. He wasn't available, so I left a message asking him to call me on my direct line.

Within a few minutes Mr. Important City Council Guy called me back.

I asked him where the hell he got off calling my house and harassing Mrs. Sneed. He denied calling, but said, "I have some pretty rough friends, it was probably one of them."

Nice.

We had a short discussion about the letter and his attempts to justify his misbehavior.

He said to me, and I will never forget this moment, "You work at Tedious Systems, you know how tricky expenses can get."

"Excuse me? I didn't tell you I worked at Tedious Systems?"

"Yes, you did."

"No I didn't, but my wife did when you called our house. Maybe I will call the newspaper and tell them about this whole business."

He told me to call if I wanted to and hanged up.

I thought about calling the paper or the mayor or someone, but he did in fact have rough friends. Discretion being the better part of valor and all.





Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

“The welfare of the people in particular has always been the alibi of tyrants, and it provides the further advantage of giving the servants of tyranny a good conscience”--Albert Camus


If you've done nothing wrong, you have nothing to fear. How many times have we heard that repeated or even said it ourselves?

What if we add a bit to it? If you've done nothing wrong, you have nothing to fear, comrade?

Or, Dear Leader loves and protects us. If you've done nothing wrong, you have nothing to fear.

Maybe God loves and protects his children. If you've done nothing wrong, you have nothing to fear.

More odious, yes?

The fact is that strict obedience should not be the determining factor in personal liberty, be it at the hands of the State, the Party, the Leader or the Lord God Almighty. Okay that last one is a stretch for a bunch of reasons, but you get my drift.

In America our defining ideal is liberty and the personal freedom to live a life unencumbered by the fear of our establishments.

What has my boxers in a bunch today is the latest misstep by the Hooterville police department.

Hooterville, like most municipalities claims not to have enough police officers. Their evidence lies in the fact that they choose not to respond to certain crimes. If the average Hootervillians returns home to find his house ransacked by burglars, he or she will likely not get a police visit. Best case is that they wait hours for a response.

If your car is broken into, you may file a report by phone or the internet, but don't expect a police response unless you have the criminal trapped in the vehicle.

On the other hand, if you drive 11 mph over the speed limit, you will often find an officer available to ticket you.

It's a matter of prioritizing precious resources, we're told. Bluntly put, writing tickets pays, responding to citizens costs.

This week, the Hootervile cops found time to lend a hand to the fine folks at the State of Arizona liquor licensing board.

Times are tough at the State of Arizona liquor licensing board. Budget cuts have made it difficult for them to complete their sole mission, making certain that people selling booze have the proper state permits and pay the appropriate fees.

So, the liquor people stumbled on to a surefire solution. They gave a list of expired licenses to the cops and asked them to pop in on the "expirees" and "see" if they are still serving booze. Just a look see mind you, since the police have no authority in this matter.

They could have used the garbage man or the meter reader, but they chose the police. And the police were happy to help out. After all, it is all about public safety, you know.

Besides, people have the nasty habit of ignoring the meter reader when it comes to matters of government enforcement.

One fellow who has been in business for decades, sent his license renewal in at the last moment. His renewal and his notice of delinquency passed in the mail. But, since he was on the list, he got a visit.

The skeptical among us might wonder what danger to public safety he presented, since he was doing the same thing he had always done, but then again, we are not trained law enforcers.

The reaction among some is predictably sheep like. If you have done nothing wrong, you have nothing to fear. Call me old fashioned, but that ought not be our standard.

Policing the public welfare is good and necessary function of government. Using the police to harass citizens is not. Just my opinion.






Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky