Mrs. America...again.

The Mrs. America pageant concluded here in our fair city Wednesday. The Sneed blog is disappointed to report that Kelly "Bronco" McBee, Mrs. Wyoming, edged out the sentimental favorite Mrs. Tennessee, Christina "Stumpy" Ryan. Mrs. Ryan you may recall, had a nasty run in with a rattlesnake, sending her to the emergency department and effectively ruining her chances at earning the coveted title of Mrs. America. Pageant host, Mr. Alan Thicke, said that the combination of having to compete in one flip-flop and one high heel, along with Mrs. Wyoming's incomparable skill with a branding iron were too much for Mrs. Tennessee to overcome. "Tennessee, tried to showcase her tap dancing skills, but in one shoe and one flip-flop, she wound up basically dancing in circles. It was a disaster," said Thicke. "It is important to remember that should anything prevent Mrs. Wyoming from fulfilling her responsibilities, Mrs. Tennessee would be called upon to step in, assuming that she can step at that point." Mrs. Wyoming wowed the audience and the judges by singing her rendition of The Tenderfoot , Jack Thorp's 1921 cowboy poem set to song, and simultaneously branding four calves. The song title is widely believed to be a poke at Mrs. Tennessee's snakebite trouble. Winning contestant and new Mrs. America, Mrs. Wyoming drove off in her new Hyundai Entourage minivan, the grand prize in this year's competition. Mrs. Tennessee received matching Hyundai Entourage minivans for herself and her husband, Mr. Runnerup Mrs. America, for her second place finish. Congratulations to all the fine contestants, as well as to Mr. Thicke and his co-host, the mean woman who got kicked off The Apprentice. Disclaimer: The organizers of the Mrs. America pageant would like to remind everyone that participants in the Mrs. America pageant are delegates, not contestants. They do not participate to promote their own babealiciousness, but to represent the many really hot married women from their home states. Remember, at the Mrs. America Pageant, we are all winners. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky