The only true Pope.
The only true Blogger.
Today I declare myself to be the only true blogger. All other bloggers are defective or not true bloggers. Forgive me, sometimes I get a bit grandiose.
Well, Pope Benedict continued his "Piss 'em Off World Tour 2007" yesterday, by declaring that all religions, other than Roman Catholicism suck. Okay, he didn't say suck, he called them bogus, but we all know what he meant. Alright he actually said that they were defective or not real religions. Same thing.
The announcement sent up howls among the rest of Christianity, of course. The Pope is basically saying that during these last 40 years, while ministers from the major religions held conferences to discuss increasing ties among their faith traditions, the Catholic representatives had their fingers crossed.
Bewildered Catholic leaders around the world scrambled to put some kind of positive spin on the statement, but struggled because frankly how do you defend that? Besides he is the Pope and he is used to getting the last word.
Speaking off the record with yours truly via a teleconference hookup, the Pope had this explanation.
"Look, it's simple. You got God, then Jesus his Son, also God. Jesus tabbed Peter as the first Pope, then you have Pope, Pope, Pope......Pope, Pope, Pope....Pope, Pope, Pope, right down to me. Your Lutheran, Anglicans, Methodists, Presbyterians, Baptists, Jews, Muslims, the whole damn, uh, excuse my French, bunch of them don't get that I am in charge of this whole salvation business. Hey, I don't make the rules here, I just do what God tells me to do. So, I'm firing back. We'll see who has the last laugh here."
The Pope would not comment on the rumors that he is raising an Army for a sort of latter day crusades. According to sources though, he plans to attack the Quakers first, and work his way gradually through the more militant religions. I'll keep you posted.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
8 comments:
Everyone knows that the apostle Mary Magdalene was Jesus' most beloved disciple. She was the first apostle because she received a commission to “go and tell.”
Paul!
Dude! the factoid that I am "a defective blogger" is SO 2004.
or Ought 4, dooooode.
what is kurt talking about? I don't understand it at all.
Demons live in many lands, but particularly in Prussia. --Martin Luther, founder of the Lutheran Chirch
I feel much freer now that I am certain the pope is the Antichrist.--Martin Luther, church guy.
OK I get the pope one, but what does Luther have against Prussia? He could just as easily have said
"Pittsburgh" or "Houston"
I often don't know what Kurt is talking about.
Ouch!
Can you imagine how bizarre it must be to be the Pope? What a life! No wonder he can't imagine living any other way.
So many overconfident religious leaders! I picture them all standing in a group yelling at each other: "I know the truth!" "No, I know the truth!" "No, your're BOTH wrong, only I know the truth!"
And meanwhile, God is just rolling his eyes.
(If God has eyes, that is)
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