Vote Early and Often.

Is it me or are the poll workers actually getting older? And why are there three times as many as are needed at the polls? I know that individually the workers are getting older, because they are most of the same bunch that have worked my poll for years. But even the new faces are older faces. It is as if they have a minimum age requirement that gets higher each election. Let the sixty-year-olds in? No way, no how. If you aren't 80 you don't work. I went to vote this morning, not that I particularly care who wins. I did write myself in for state mine inspector, because I didn't recognize the name of the joker that was running for the job unopposed. I'm not completely sure what the mine inspector does, but that is a minor issue. Besides, it would be cool to call myself, Merle Sneed, Inspector of Mines. I would make everyone call me Inspector Sneed and I would show up at various mines with a giant magnifying glass and a bloodhound, driving a Hummer. I mean I would be driving, not the dog. Plus, I would adopt some sort of paramilitary uniform, with giant epaulets. Not that I think one vote will put me over the top, or anything, but it is nice to dream. Besides, I had a plan to garner more support. I thought I had daughter Sneed's vote too, but she didn't come through for her old dad. I guess I needed to say Vote for me for mine inspector. I figured since I told her about my write-in vote plan before she went to the polls, that she would get the idea. No cushy deputy mine inspector job for her. My dentist said that he would have written me in, but he voted before work and I didn't see him until this afternoon. The lovely Mrs. Sneed went to vote after work, but I forgot to tell her about my last minute campaign. Next time around I am definitely getting better organized. My polling place is in the library of a nearby elementary school. This morning there were no less that 10 eighty-year-olds crammed in to the library, all trying to be useful. Two guys were in charge of looking up names on the voting list and checking IDs. The list guy couldn't see that well, so he had to flip back and forth several times before he found me. Then he shouted my name and voter number aloud to a woman two seats away who was supposed find me on another list and to write down this information on a slip of paper. The slip woman couldn't hear and couldn't remember more than one thing at a time, so she kept saying, "What is the last name?" The first guy had completely forgotten by then, so he had to ask me my name again. The woman then noted that she had several Sneeds on her list and had me look at the list to show her which one was me. I took my slip of paper and moved one step to my left where two other women sat. One took my slip and the other gave me a ballot. A third woman was in charge of saying, "Don't forget to fill out the back side of the ballot." After voting, there was a guy who instructed me on how to put it into the ballot reader, and a second guy handing out I Voted stickers. Every bit of this operation was carefully supervised by the Judge, an old guy with some kind of spinal disorder that caused him to have to stare at the floor most of the time. That has to be hard to live with. In Arizona, starting with this election, you have to have photo ID to vote. The old guy in front of me this morning had an older driver's license and the picture was not legible. We had a bunch of defective licenses years ago, and the pictures on them faded out due to some kind of a chemical reaction. This was before digital images. They made him use a provisional ballot, and it won't count until he comes back with a good photo ID. I blame this on Al "Hanging Chad" Gore and his traveling voter fraud show. Anyway, I did my civic duty and in a few hours we will likely have a new set of crooks in charge. All those bright, fresh faces in Congress will soon forget us and start figuring out what's in it for them. Ain't government great? Merle. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky Tag: Daily Life Personal Finance Humor