We had a family party today, Mom, Dad, sister, cousin, aunts, uncles, and four grandparents. It was a lot of fun.
One of my grandchildren once famously complained, "He sarcazed me." Scarcazed being the verb form of scarcasm.
During my short-lived school teaching career, I learned that it is unwise to sarcaze young children because they don't get it and they can easily misunderstand the intention.
"Gee Johnny, how long is the Stupid Convention in town?"
"There's a Stupid Convention?"
See, they're hopeless.
Anyway, I was watching television and I noticed a commercial for "Heavy Duty" internet service from our local telephone, I mean, local high-speed internet company. Heavy Duty, you can't turn that down.
How many times have you been surfing the web so hard that it broke on you? More than once I'm guessing, so the heavy duty is what you want, no what you need, in your internet service.
Unfortunately for the Sneeds, despite the fact that we live in the dead center of a metro area of a million folks, we cannot get anything faster than dial-up from this telephone, I mean high-speed internet company.
We have to use the local cable company for our internet service and this has worked well for us.
The commercial kind of got under my skin and I fired off an email to the CEO of this telephone, I mean high-speed internet company, pointing out the irony of advertising Heavy Duty internet service, when I can't even get 'barely duty" service smack dab in the middle of town.
This is not unlike Ford advertising that their latest model gets 40 miles per gallon unless you live in Ohio, Nebraska, Alaska or New Hampshire, in which case it gets six.
Evidently, CEOs are like six-year-olds with respect in their ability to appreciate the fine art of sarcazing.
Within a day of sending my email, I got a call from one of the CEOs "problem resolution" specialists, letting me know that she was on the problem and that I could expect an answer real soon.
I already knew the answer. Dial-up, at least from them.
The problem resolution person handed off my problem to another guy, who left me a message letting me know that he was on the job and would have an answer real soon.
A few days later I got another call from the second guy. He was sorry to have to tell me that my address is not eligible for their high-speed internet, heavy duty or otherwise. Duh.
Geez, I felt bad that the last guy. He had to make a bunch of calls and bother a bunch of people to find out what my original email could have told him, if only his fearless leader understood scarcazing.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky