Talk about your bad days. A local Hootervillian woman had a doozie recently. The woman in question paid a visit to her psychic, to get a preview of coming attractions, as they applied to her. Or at least I think that's why one consults a psychic. The psychic gave this lady a bag of "good luck crystals" to carry with her at all times. After all, who can't use a bag of good luck now and again? Hell, I'll take a grocery-sized bag myself. A few days later our gal was driving home from work, late at night, when a county deputy saw her drive into a turn lane, as though she was going to make a right turn. But then, in a move that could only be thought up by a master criminal, she turned left and back into traffic. That's right, she DIDN'T turn right. How do you explain that? Well, if you are a highly trained police officer, you immediately recognize the obvious; a drunken driver. Fair enough. The layman might think she merely changed her mind, but that's why I'm typing this, sitting in my living room in my boxers, and not patrolling the streets. The officer pulled the suspect over, asked the usual questions and decided that a field sobriety test was in order. After the whole, walk this line, count to ten, touch your nose deal, the deputy concluded she wasn't drunk. Rather than send her on her way, the determined lawman pressed on. He asked if she was on drugs? No. Is it okay to search your car and purse? Sure. The search of the car turned up her bag of lucky crystals. Now ask yourself, what self-respecting officer of the law is going is going to fall for the old bag of good luck story when he knows full well that it is a plain old bag of meth? Somewhere around this point in the story, the officer placed the suspect in handcuffs and put her in his partol car. By all accounts she become hysterical, sobbing and wailing and trying to figure out how to kill the psychic. I made up that last part, but that's what I would want to do. Out comes the drug testing kit and drumroll please, the lucky charms test negative for meth or any other street drug. End of story, right? Not in Hooterville. You simply don't embarrass a police officer like this. Innocence is no excuse for breaking the law. It may not even be an excuse not to break the law. The police officer decided that if the bag of good fortune was not illegal drugs, then she must be a drug dealer who is using fake drugs to fool someone. He arrested her and charged her with having an imitation controlled substance and then he hauled her off to jail. The authorities did call the psychic and she confirmed that she had given the suspect a bag of quartz crystals for good luck. The poor woman had her first day in court and rather than laughing the police and prosecution out of the courtroom, the judge set another hearing in a month, pending the results of an in-depth analysis of the lucky rocks by the crack staff at the state lab. Longtime readers will recall that our mentally ill son was arrested for drunken driving by mistake. I can tell you that it takes months and months for the police and prosecution to swallow their pride and admit it when they are mistaken. She's in for a long ordeal. Not to demean the police and the hard work most of them do, but there is a grain of truth in every parody. Here's one for you. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky