Aug 13, 2009

He that hath wife and children hath given hostages to fortune...Francis Bacon Sometimes I portray the Sneeds in Waltonesque fashion. There is a lot more of the Bundys in us than I let on. A whole lot more. Just saying. Noah, who starts school next Monday, am I played golf with the usual suspects today. Our weather was uncharacteristically cool and overcast. I fully intended to stay home today and fix the broken toilet in the master bath. When I told the Seafood King that I had to stay home today, he offered to send his maintenance man over to give me a hand after golf, free of charge. How do you turn down a free toilet repair? Besides, the Seafood King owes me because I am always doing him favors. The problem with our broken toilet is that the bolts that hold the toilet to the floor broke and it came loose. As we said in the 60's, that's a bad scene. Maybe you wonder how a toilet is held to the floor? No? Too bad, I'm telling you anyway. There is a flange, a flat ring of steel, that is affixed to your floor, over the sewer pipe under the toilet. Two bolts attached to the flange and stick straight up. The toilet is bolted to the floor using these two bolts. If you look at a toilet you will see two plastic caps, one on either side of the toilet bowl. These cover those bolts. This is the new flange once it is in place. There is a wax seal between the floor flange and the bottom of the toilet to keep everything going down the drain pipe under the toilet and not running out from under it. Over the years, the wax seal leaks a bit and the flange can get rusty and fail. This is what I suspected was our problem. When I came home from golf today, I turned off the water and removed the toilet from its failed mooring. I discovered that the flange was totally rusted away. I got everything I thought I could possible need from our store, so I had a repair flange on hand, just in case. Luckily, about that same time the Seafood King's guy showed up and he was able to replace the rusted out flange with the new one. He had to drill about 6 holes in the concrete floor bolt it down. Then it was just a matter of securing the toilet back in place. I also used this opportunity to replace the working parts in the tank, so we are good for another 100,000...er, miles. Aren't you glad you stayed to the end? Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

9 comments:

Kurt said...

I love a satisfactory home repair. I recently replaced the o-ring between the bowl and the tank, and it filled me with great satisfaction.

Bella Rum said...

I love toilet stories.

The Bug said...

We've had a new toilet seat waiting to be attached for about 2 months. Don't suppose the Seafood King's guy could make a qick trip to Ohio?

Annie Ha said...

I could have lived my whole life without knowing what that looked like :)

Megan said...

I can change a light bulb.

Marcia said...

should have installed an automatic flusher

Barbara said...

I unfortunately once had to see that toilet scene in my downstairs bathroom. The sewer line in front of our house backed up INTO OUR HOUSE. Oh, and did I say it was the day before we were leaving on a vacation to Guatemala? It was quite a scene and quite a smell until they got it under control. I must say the county came through, actually sending out competent people to clean up the mess and paying for all the damage. That's the beauty of the problem being out in the street as opposed to under your house.

Good luck with the newly repaired toilet. I hope it lasts another 40 years. With any luck you will outlive it!

Reya Mellicker said...

Plumbing is so gross.

But you, Merle? You are a shining light. I love the way you think and the way you write, Waltonesque, Bundyesque, but especially Sneedesque.

Oh yeah.

Steve said...

I am totally impressed that you would take on a repair project of that scope! I just call someone. I'm not much for anything more complicated than replacing a screw or painting a wall.