Oct 27, 2008

This past Friday, Keith our mailman, left a card letting me know that he had a certified letter for me and that I would have to go to the post office and sign for it, since I was away when he tried to deliver it. A certified letter is usually bad news when it concerns me, so I was dreading having to go get it. Who would send me a certified letter I wondered? I did a mental check of the things I might have done wrong that would result in a certified letter, and I came up empty. The possibility that it could contain good news was too small to be considered. So, this morning I drove down to the post office and picked up the dreaded letter. Here it is, in its entirety, minus the name and address of yours truly. This is the second letter, as you can see and as was the case in the first, I have no idea what the cowardly jackass is talking about. Lacey the Wonder Mutt, stays in from dusk to after dawn, so she sure isn't keeping anyone awake by barking. I am the self-appointed Mayor of the cul-de-sac and I know and have spoken to most all of my constituents. I am fairly sure it is not one of them sending these threats. We thought that the dead woman down the street might have sent the last letter since she was crazy, but you may recall that she was quite dead on the 22nd, so that eliminates her. My new suspect is a couple of old women that live down the street about a block. They have about a dozen dogs that they walk past the house in a giant pack and poor Lacey does bark at them. But that's her job, more or less, and it is in the morning. This letter did include a return PO box, since it was sent certified. I sent a nice reply to my anonymous complainer chastising him or her for being a spineless coward and inviting him or her to discuss it with me in person. Okay, the reply wasn't that nice. I'm not counting on an acceptance. Probably the thing that pisses me off the most is that Lacey is Son Sneed's companion and now he is worried about the threats in this letter. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

13 comments:

Julia said...

Does she bark all day long? Does she leave the yard? Those are the only two things I can think of that would be a problem.

If it's just barking at dogs walking by, I can't imagine anyone having a problem with that. I walk our dog every day and every single dog we pass barks at us.

Julia said...

Oh, I missed the part about having the dog debarked the first time I read it.

Megan said...

Oh man. Cowardly jackass indeed!

Kurt said...

That's a total fake (speaking as an expert on fake letters).

Terri@SteelMagnolia said...

Ah geez....

wow... debarked... that's weird... I've never head of a dog being debarked...


we have dogs that bark all day and all night... nothing ever happens...

one time I had somebody down the street complain that he could hear my McCaw scream...
I didn't know what to say!!??

Yeah..he screams when people walk by.. and it's kind of funny....

Well..
don't worry about it...
they would have to prove it or something...

people can be such weinies...

SonSneed said...

After the first letter I made a concerted effort to ensure that lacey is only outside for a couple hours in the morning, after the sun comes up, and only long enough for her to eat her daily kibble and drink... And maybe chase a few squirrels:) Point is, I am conscientious and I do not allow her to be a nuisance and I take this as a slap in the face. Nobody is going to slice my dog's vocal chords and they surely will not euthanaize her.

bitchlet said...

What is Schizo-Affective Disorder?

Reya Mellicker said...

Some people are walking around angry. They fixate on something - anything - and project every ounce of their rage on something quite innocent, like sonsneed's dog.

For heaven's sake. I would suggest this person seek psychotherapy to help unravel all the reasons he/she is so angry.

Sonsneed? I'm with you. Take on the wicked witch of the west! Don't let anyone hurt your sweet dog.

Nan Patience said...

Whoa! What a wack-a-doodle letter!!

Steve said...

Wow. That person needs to chill. Dogs are dogs, and sometimes they bark. Get over it.

(Debarked???)

Adrianne said...

Wow! That is totally crazy (says the woman whose short block now is home to 15 dogs, one of whom enthustiastically howls at all 50 police cars and fire trucks that pass by each day). I hope this cowardly complainer is put in his or her place promptly.

Megan said...

I was thinking today - what if it's the Squirrel Lobby?

SonSneed said...

I had never heard of debarking either, but they sever the vocal chords so she she will become mute. Sounds pretty extreme to me.

Megan... that was funny.. I thought about taking a pic of the dead squirrel, but I decided that would go to far.