Oct 7, 2008

"Who knew that when unscrupulous lenders were giving out mortgages to people who couldn't repay them, they were doing it with my life savings?"--Merle Wayne Sneed 2008 There is a mystery on the cul-de-sac tonight. The police, crime scene investigators and the County Coroner were at the house across the street and down three houses. The lady who lives there is a handful. This isn't the first time the cops have been there. Allegedly, she threatened to shoot Maria, who lives next door to her. As scary as that sounds, she is about 70 years old and uses a walker, so Maria would have to stand real still while the old gal got her aim. It spooked Maria, none the less. Anyway, Son Sneed says that the cops were at my neighbor Sylvia's house taking to her too, so I figured that I would just get the dope from Sylvia. Sylvia often has the good info. Unfortunately, Sylvia is the religious sort and was gone to church this evening. Her husband, Chuchie (a Mexican nickname for Jesus) claims that he got home after Sylvia left for church and he didn't know anything. Chuchie likes to talk about me when we chat. Talking about me was the last thing I was interested in doing tonight, even though I am a fascinating fellow. I also interviewed the neighbor across the street because she is chummy with Slyvia, but that was to no avail either. I had never met this woman, although we regularly exchange waves in passing, so I barged up to her door and asked for any details she might have. Zippo. I did learn that she is a dancer in a nudie bar, which is kind of interesting. The betting is that the old gal just up and died, but I'm holding out hope for something more juicy. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

14 comments:

Annie Ha said...

I didn't really picture you as a gossip. Sweet! Keep me posted! I love a good juicy story!

Squirrel said...

I know a coroner, and they don't show up for just nuthin'. There has to be somebody saying there's a dead body. somebody like a paramedic or a cop. No coroner wants to run all over town for live people.

Megan said...

I knew mysterious cul de sacs really existed! I knew it!

Megan said...

Oh, and I might have to write an entire post in response to that quote.

Reya Mellicker said...

Holding my breath until I get the scoop.

Kurt said...

I want more info on Chuchie.

Adrianne said...

This sounds like a scene out of that movie "The 'Burbs," where there's a suburban house-on-a-cul-de-sac that's inhabited by odd charcacters, and all the so-called normal neighbors are clamoring to find out what's really going on in there. I envision you in the Tom Hanks role, of course. (: )

Adrianne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Adrianne said...

So sorry for multiple posts - I'm having trouble with Blogger this morning.

Steve said...

Wow! I can't wait to hear how this one turns out, though it doesn't sound good for the old gal.

It's cool that you know your neighbors and something about their personalities. Who says we've become a nation of strangers?

Brilliant quote, as per usual.

Anonymous said...

maybe she has some dead bodies buried in her yard.

bitchlet said...

What do you and Chuchie talk about? I want a post on that.

Coffee Messiah said...

A good reporter never lets anything stop them from getting a story. ; )

dennis said...

Dennis wonders why this is taking so long to unravel (the mystery!)