Oct 17, 2008

Noah lost his first baby tooth yesterday. Today I would like to put aside the election, the ailing economy and all other national and international issues. I want to return to my roots, as a bitter little man. The subject of today's post will be cashiers. If you are a cashier, you may wish to stop reading. In the hardware store, someone got the bright idea to equip us with radios, so that the cashiers could accost the customers as they enter the store, ascertain their need, direct them to the proper aisle and call yours truly to assist in their important hardware purchases. This plan would be okay except someone forgot that cashiers are for the most part concrete thinkers and many are incapable of independent thought. For instance, we have a cashier who will direct a customer to an aisle no matter how ridiculous their request might seem. I think that she just sends the customer to an aisle number at random and calls someone to assist them. She became famous for announcing over the radio that a customer was on the way to aisle three for "road antlers". The customer actually wanted a road atlas, but the cashier misunderstood and figured WTF, I'll just send them somewhere and let the dumb hardware guy figure it out. Then there was her announcement that someone was headed to the battery aisle to buy batteries for water. I radioed back that water doesn't require batteries, and I swear she told me to find the customer and figure it out. The customer wanted water for car battery. Many people still insist on distilled water for their car batteries. This person is so dense that I swear that if a terrorist came in looking for a nuclear bomb, she would send them to aisle seven and announce, "Customer on the way to aisle seven, looking for "NuClear Balm". The Lovely Mrs. Sneed and I are off to Las Vegas tomorrow afternoon for her annual birthday bash. What better way to celebrate her birthday than to take the last few dollars from our retirement accounts and blow it in Vegas? We will return on Tuesday. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

9 comments:

Megan said...

Vegas, baby, Vegas!

Terri@SteelMagnolia said...

You're coming to VEGAS???

Too bad we hadn't discussed this earlier... we could have met up for some food!

That is a funny post...
seems a lot of cashiers are the same way...

Coffee Messiah said...

Happy Birthday to the Mrs! ; )

We have almost completely stopped asking anyone in stores for help.

We get those same responses and although we have looked already, when we ask 4 help, they send us to where we previously looked.

People just don't seem to care about their jobs anymore.....

How do I know this? Remember I mentioned Thursday to U? They still haven't done it! ; (

Have a grand time!

Reya Mellicker said...

I hear that the Tooth Fairy pays pretty well these days. Congrats to Noah Sneedlet!

Have fun in Vegas. Looking forward to pics and stories when you return. It's good timing, isn't it? You need a break from the cashiers.

Kurt said...

Happy 40th to Mrs. Sneed!

I would go to a drugstore for distilled water (batteries haven't needed topping up with water in 30 years, though) and a bookstore for a road atlas.

Steve said...

Happy Birthday to Mrs. Sneed, and have a great time in Vegas.

Merle, you should seriously patent the name NuClear Balm. You are a marketing genius.

mouse (aka kimy) said...

happy birthday to mrs sneed! hope the trip was fun!

Adrianne said...

Happy Birthday to the lovely Mrs. Sneed, and I hope that you both have fun times in Vegas!

I am partial to people born in October. Today (Oct. 20) is my Dad's b-day, and my maternal grandmother's b-day was 10/10. I honored her by assigning that day to Jacob the dog -- he is the love of my life, and he needed an early October b-day. Love the Libras, I do.

They have walkie talkies at my neighborhood hardware store (which I'm still hoping you'll some day come and visit - the Sneedlets will need to see DC at some point). That arrangement seems to work out pretty well, I think because all the cashiers are reasonably competent.

bitchlet said...

Happy Birthday Mrs Sneed!

NuClear Balm :D Merle, I missed you.