Aug 18, 2008

"A nation is a society united by delusions about its ancestry and by common hatred of its neighbors."--William Ralph Inge. I was impressed with that quote because of a shooting that took place last night here in Hooterville. Apparently, a carload of gang-bangers did a drive-by shooting at a local convenience store. Someone in the store, who may or may not have been another gang-banger, ran out of the store and returned fire, killing a bystander. This unleashed a torrent of knuckleheads in this morning's Hooterville Daily Dish, screaming for all Mexicans to be shipped back to Mexico because, in the minds of the knuckleheads, all Mexicans are murdering gang-bangers. Jackasses. In other news, I vowed not to watch the Olympics because it is just too much. Too many stories about the hardships Olympians endure and too many heart-warming tales of adversity overcome. Megan said this better than I can. Mostly though, there is just too much crap passing as sport. Once the games began, I fell for the whole Micheal Phelps business. Not only did I watch him do all that winning, I made plans to watch. All was lost for my vow to avoid the Olympics. In every lose there is a bit of gain and my loss of resolve to avoid the Games, gave me an opportunity to root against the Chinese. They have more people than anyone and a government dedicated to winning everything. They should never lose, but they do and it warms my heart. When it comes to sporting events, I confess that I am a bit of a jingoist. I am a huge softball fan, in part because Hooterville here, is the softball capital of the world. Despite what Oklahoma City might think to the contrary. Mike Candrea, the USA coach is also the coach of our local university team. Many of the Team USA softball players are University of Arizona alums. Of course, in their wisdom, the Olympic honchos have decided to kick softball out of the Games because the rest of the world can't compete with the US team. I don't recall anyone kicking ice hockey out when the Russians were unbeatable. But not to worry, we will still have grand Olympic sports like badminton. Who the hell plays competitive badminton? And who watches it? Excuse me for pointing it out, but Equestrian sports are just people riding on horses. What the heck is athletic about that, unless you are the horse? Don't even get me started on trampoline, synchronized swimming, or rhythmic gymnastics, which is just modern dance, by the way. And rhythmic gymnastics isn't even good dance. It is a bunch of gymnasts who are not good enough to compete in real gymnastic events, so they made up an event where they dance with balls and ribbons and rings. They look like refugees from Mrs. Smith's Academy of Dance at the annual Spring recital. Rhythmic gymnastics could be improved by the introduction of real dancers, but real dancers would be too embarrassed to actually participate. There, someone had to say it. How about ping pong? I don't think any game that can be played by drunks in a frat house should be an Olympic sport. Can anyone tell how Taekwondo differs from judo? Why do they get a twofer and who is watching anyway? BMX bicycling? Somebody is kidding someone. What's next, skateboarding? Shooting? Puleeze. It's a skill not an athletic endeavor. If you have shooting, you ought to have knife-throwing too. How about juggling or darts? The possibilities are endless. These are midway games not Olympic events. Crap, put in bowling, I may have a shot. At lunch last week, my pal Lonnie and I were watching some guys running around a court trying to throw a small ball into a soccer net. We didn't even know what sport it was. It turns out to be handball, not to be confused with the real handball, which is played by guys at the Y. Luckily, it only comes around every four years. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

10 comments:

Coffee Messiah said...

Not sure about it, but heard a story last night about Jim Thorpe and what he did in the Olympics. His story and his time were amazing, compared to today.

Uh, so far I have a perfect record "not" watching anything Olympic.

I lost any fanfare for sports when they all started making more money than the people teaching, etc, etc.

; (

tut-tut said...

I believe there is movement afoot (hah!) to get skateboarding into the mix. I have not watched any of the events myself. Not interested in any of it . . .

Reya Mellicker said...

We were just talking last night about how nationalistic the Olympics are. I love watching the athletes - God - they're all so good, no matter what country they come from - but all that singing of national anthems, etc. Yuck!

LOVE the quote!

Kurt said...

We TIVOed the Olympics, and we fast forward through some events, such as basketball, since there is plenty of real basketball on TV all year.

But the way they made Michael Phelps' story into the story of the Olympics was annoying. They cut away from an awards ceremony to watch Phelps get a rubdown. At the 400 IM relay ceremony, Phelps was awarded his eighth gold medal, and the camera stayed on him for the entire ceremony. Hey - there's a whole team up there!

edward said...

i am boycotting the olympics! and i am not missing anything.

Nan Patience said...

Considering what an ancient civilization China is, there is a great deal more to it than we here in America have appreciated lately, and I'm enjoying the accidental tourism of its sights and people. I'm really wanting something Chinese to wear.

On the other hand, considering what an ancient civilization China is, one would think they'd be doing a better job of things.

Most Mexicans are very nice, very family-oriented, and very hard working people with an ancient and honorable history. Many times it's the Americans who believe otherwise who should be questioning their own ancestry's history and values. We certainly can't blame the Mexicans for the fact of America's dishonorable immigration policies and practices.

Squirrel said...

Jim Thorpe was great. A true athlete.

d. chedwick said...

Athletes should not earn more money than teachers. Why can't people see how insane it is that they do?

bitchlet said...

The last time I checked Phelps was responsible for nearly half of America's medals.

Julia said...

I love that quote, and I loved your rant. I'm sorry to hear about what happened in your community.