Aug 27, 2008

Dim Bulb

In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity. ~Ambrose Bierce As a Senior Statesman At-large, part of my commission is to provide guidance toward behaviors that enhance our society and discourage behaviors that detract from our mutual well being. With that in mind, here's a tip for better living. A guy goes into a hardware store as asks a worker where he can locate a tubular light bulb, much like the one in the image. The always courteous and helpful hardware professional, escorts the customer to the appropriate aisle and shows him the various selections available to fill his lighting need. The customer, and this is where you will want to pay special attention, looks at the bulbs and says, "Five bucks? I can get one for a dollar at the Dollar Store". Lest he be brought up on charges of conduct unbecoming a Senior Statesman, the professional hardware man resists the urge to say, "Well why are you looking here then you dumb bastard?", opting instead to suggest that the Dollar Store is an attractive alternative. The civilized consumer never tells the workers in a store how much cheaper a product is at another store. He or she understands that the employees are simply trying to make a living and have no control over the prices. Remember, the few seconds of pleasure that you get from ragging on a hapless employee is paid for by the everlasting impression you leave that you are an as*hole. You're welcome. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

8 comments:

Squirrel said...

I hate the dollar store, AND the 99cent store, and the 98 cent store too! and Jalar the Everything Store. and all stores of that type.

Megan said...

Your encounters with "the great unwashed" continue to facinate...

bitchlet said...

We have a dollar store here too. They sell items worth $1 at Rs 49. Thats ridiculous because the exchange rate is much lower now.

Reya Mellicker said...

The ass part of his personality got the better of him.

Sometimes I wonder if people like that go home and think, "Why the hell did I say that out loud?"

Kurt said...

I do enjoy some of my 99 cent store products, such as my 99 cent kitchen timer, my 99 cent back scratcher and (especially) my 99 cent umbrellas (I bought four), but I would NEVER use one of those cheap Chinese lightbulbs from the 99 cent store. You might as well pour gas around your home and light it.

tut-tut said...

Everything at the dollar store is a dollar for a reason. And it's likely made in China.

Steve said...

Besides, he wouldn't have found a helpful harware man at the dollar store, now would he?

Ted said...

The Dollarama here in Beaver Falls is a damn good store.