Jan 8, 2008

Mrs. America...Again...Again

Some months ago I provided near-the-scene coverage (read here) of the Mrs. American pageant, which seems to has taken up residence here in our fair city. Very fine coverage I hasten to add. Coverage that contained many facts that the reader would find interesting and informative. Coverage that was, in part, somewhat true, except for the stuff that I may have made up. We here at the Sneed blog take pride in assuring the reader that our product contains more than fifteen percent real information. Each year the accounting firm of Ernest and Frank LLC. conducts an independent audit of the previous year's post to insure that the facts represented to be true in the Sneed blog meet the 15% threshold. In 2007 the actual factual content of the Sneed blog was 16.3%. We take this standard very seriously, so it was very troubling to receive the following comment today from a Mr. or Mrs. Anonymous of Billings, Montana in response to our report of September 7, 2007, concerning the Mrs. America pageant. AN FYI...this happened moths ago....and who ever wrote this is a liar! WOW...I cant believe I just wasted my time reading it!!!! Get your facts straight! Wow, indeed! Ouch! Dear Anonymous, please allow me to respond to your comment point by point and perhaps salvage a bit our our hard-earned reputation for blog integrity. First of all with respect to the construction of your remark, I congratulate you on your excellent use of the exclamation point!!!!! I know you mean months ago, not moths ago, and I'm sure that even in Montana cant is a conjunction, requiring an apostrophe, but I'm just being petty now. Forgive me and on to your comment. You said, "AN FYI...this happened moths ago..." Well, yeah. You stumbled upon this blog by using Google to search for the words Mrs. Wyoming. Perhaps you noticed the date of September 7, 2007 posted prominently at the top of the post. I recognize that it may take some time for internet transmissions to reach Billings, Montana and perhaps posts that are 4 or 5 months old are current by Montana standards. Maybe you are still using dial-up internet service which can be very slow and can contribute to blog lag. I recommend checking the date of the post prior to criticizing its timeliness. "...and who ever wrote this is a liar!" Uh, according to Ernst and Frank, your allegation is only 83.7% true. 16.3% percent of the time I'm Honest-Freaking-Abe. Get your facts straight. "WOW...I cant believe I just wasted my time reading it!!!!" It's winter and you live in Montana, what else do you have to do? Even the sheep don't want to go outside. Besides, you seem to spend your day searching for the news about Mrs. Wyoming. You owe me a thank you for breaking up the tedium. You're welcome. "Get your facts straight!". I'm thinking of upping the standard to 17% or even 18% true stuff for 2008. Hopefully, this will make future posts acceptable to sticklers for the truth. Mr. or Mrs. Anonymous, the editorial staff of the Sneed blog appreciates you feedback and looks forward to your continued readership. The Sneed blog continues to maintain its leadership as a new millennium kind of site and does not endorse or condone the objectifying of women in events such as the Mrs. America pageant. Damn, our rating just went down to 16%. As always, please read the disclaimer for this site. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

6 comments:

d. chedwick bryant said...

I think it is a Mr. Anonymous-- or a really hideously ugly Miss Montana with a five o'clock shadow-- just a vibe I got from reading the comment ( I have these powers since my close brush with death today--I can "see" the person typing the comment) Most commenters are very good looking--not so with Mr/Miss Billings. Nosireebob.

Kurt said...

Anyone searching for Ms. Wyoming info needs much more help than even you can give, but thanks for trying.

d. chedwick bryant said...

A couple of people have called me a liar re: my opinion of a perfume. They got all crazed and used a string of really bad words. -- I deleted them. Always anonymous too.

Ryan said...

People from Montana can't be trusted. Neither can the sheep.

It's good to know what your truth threshold is.... at the max last year, you were 16.7% more truthful than most blogs.

Be proud.

alphabet soup said...

I don't think Anonymous has grasped the idea that your blog is sometimes tongue in cheek which of course could easily be read as being totally brutal. Readers need to follow along on a daily basis until they realise you have your own particular approach to any number of subjects. It's an ill wind that doesn't blow some good somewhere - another laugh for my day - thanks.
Ms Soup

Squirrel said...

Was Kurt visiting Billings back then? I'd check.