You know I'm pretty much a law and order kind of guy, but every now and again they push me too far.
I went to the University of Arizona football game tonight. I have attended the games off and on, mostly on, for the past 43 years. I attended my first game in 1963, missed 1965 through 1967 while living in California and have pretty much attended since.
Over the last 43 years things have changed at the old stadium. We used to be able to bring our own refreshments to the game. I would often bring a cooler full of soda along and no one bothered to look inside most of the time. The guys at the gate were a bunch retirees trying to get out of the house for a few hours. Those were innocent times.
These days the list of items that can be carried into the stadium is very short and security is tight and for good reason, I suppose. We still have the volunteer ticket-takers, mostly older folks. They wear bright blue vests, emblazoned with Customer Service across the back. Unfortunately, before you can reach the friendly customer service team, you must run the gauntlet of gate stooges, an elite force, no doubt hired through some mulitnational stooge broker.
The gate stooges are the first line of defense at the stadium. No contraband will pass a stooge unmolested, not today, not any day, not on their watch, damn it. Bags and purses are searched thoroughly, coats being carried are examined closely, even binoculars are given close scrutiny to insure that they are really binoculars and not a hollowed-out model, being used to sneak in alcohol or even worse, exploding gel. The gate stooges run an tight operation, damn tight.
I arrived at the game tonight wearing a pair of shorts, polo shirt, ballcap and tennis shoes. I wasn't carrying anything in my hands, I know better. Even the most vigilant among the stooges would have to concede that there was little chance that I was trying to sneak in a forbidden item, or so I thought. Never underestimate the tenacity of a stooge on patrol. Where a civilian sees a slightly confused old buffoon in a bad outfit and ballcap, a gate stooge sees danger lurking. This is why they proudly don the yellow EVENT STAFF shirt.
Their latest unwarranted power grab is a demand that all persons wearing hats remove them for inspection prior to entry into the facility. Enough is enough. I was wearing a ball cap tonight and the gate stooge made me take it off. I have a horse-sized head and my cap fits snuggly on my giant melon. A gnat couldn't sneak in unnoticed under my cap, but the gate stooge demanded anyway. The history of international terrorism is devoid of exploding hats, so I fail to see their purpose. Richard Reed could breeze past the stooges with fuses attached to his shoes, as long has he was bare-headed. Jackasses.
I am sick to death of these intrusions, so an indignant email to the university administration will be forthcoming.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
Sep 30, 2006
Gate Stooges
Wrongly Accused: An innocent man's
struggle for vindication
You know I'm pretty much a law and order kind of guy, but every now and again they push me too far.
I went to the University of Arizona football game tonight. I have attended the games off and on, mostly on, for the past 43 years. I attended my first game in 1963, missed 1965 through 1967 while living in California and have pretty much attended since.
Over the last 43 years things have changed at the old stadium. We used to be able to bring our own refreshments to the game. I would often bring a cooler full of soda along and no one bothered to look inside most of the time. The guys at the gate were a bunch retirees trying to get out of the house for a few hours. Those were innocent times.
These days the list of items that can be carried into the stadium is very short and security is tight and for good reason, I suppose. We still have the volunteer ticket-takers, mostly older folks. They wear bright blue vests, emblazoned with Customer Service across the back. Unfortunately, before you can reach the friendly customer service team, you must run the gauntlet of gate stooges, an elite force, no doubt hired through some mulitnational stooge broker.
The gate stooges are the first line of defense at the stadium. No contraband will pass a stooge unmolested, not today, not any day, not on their watch, damn it. Bags and purses are searched thoroughly, coats being carried are examined closely, even binoculars are given close scrutiny to insure that they are really binoculars and not a hollowed-out model, being used to sneak in alcohol or even worse, exploding gel. The gate stooges run an tight operation, damn tight.
I arrived at the game tonight wearing a pair of shorts, polo shirt, ballcap and tennis shoes. I wasn't carrying anything in my hands, I know better. Even the most vigilant among the stooges would have to concede that there was little chance that I was trying to sneak in a forbidden item, or so I thought. Never underestimate the tenacity of a stooge on patrol. Where a civilian sees a slightly confused old buffoon in a bad outfit and ballcap, a gate stooge sees danger lurking. This is why they proudly don the yellow EVENT STAFF shirt.
Their latest unwarranted power grab is a demand that all persons wearing hats remove them for inspection prior to entry into the facility. Enough is enough. I was wearing a ball cap tonight and the gate stooge made me take it off. I have a horse-sized head and my cap fits snuggly on my giant melon. A gnat couldn't sneak in unnoticed under my cap, but the gate stooge demanded anyway. The history of international terrorism is devoid of exploding hats, so I fail to see their purpose. Richard Reed could breeze past the stooges with fuses attached to his shoes, as long has he was bare-headed. Jackasses.
I am sick to death of these intrusions, so an indignant email to the university administration will be forthcoming.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
You know I'm pretty much a law and order kind of guy, but every now and again they push me too far.
I went to the University of Arizona football game tonight. I have attended the games off and on, mostly on, for the past 43 years. I attended my first game in 1963, missed 1965 through 1967 while living in California and have pretty much attended since.
Over the last 43 years things have changed at the old stadium. We used to be able to bring our own refreshments to the game. I would often bring a cooler full of soda along and no one bothered to look inside most of the time. The guys at the gate were a bunch retirees trying to get out of the house for a few hours. Those were innocent times.
These days the list of items that can be carried into the stadium is very short and security is tight and for good reason, I suppose. We still have the volunteer ticket-takers, mostly older folks. They wear bright blue vests, emblazoned with Customer Service across the back. Unfortunately, before you can reach the friendly customer service team, you must run the gauntlet of gate stooges, an elite force, no doubt hired through some mulitnational stooge broker.
The gate stooges are the first line of defense at the stadium. No contraband will pass a stooge unmolested, not today, not any day, not on their watch, damn it. Bags and purses are searched thoroughly, coats being carried are examined closely, even binoculars are given close scrutiny to insure that they are really binoculars and not a hollowed-out model, being used to sneak in alcohol or even worse, exploding gel. The gate stooges run an tight operation, damn tight.
I arrived at the game tonight wearing a pair of shorts, polo shirt, ballcap and tennis shoes. I wasn't carrying anything in my hands, I know better. Even the most vigilant among the stooges would have to concede that there was little chance that I was trying to sneak in a forbidden item, or so I thought. Never underestimate the tenacity of a stooge on patrol. Where a civilian sees a slightly confused old buffoon in a bad outfit and ballcap, a gate stooge sees danger lurking. This is why they proudly don the yellow EVENT STAFF shirt.
Their latest unwarranted power grab is a demand that all persons wearing hats remove them for inspection prior to entry into the facility. Enough is enough. I was wearing a ball cap tonight and the gate stooge made me take it off. I have a horse-sized head and my cap fits snuggly on my giant melon. A gnat couldn't sneak in unnoticed under my cap, but the gate stooge demanded anyway. The history of international terrorism is devoid of exploding hats, so I fail to see their purpose. Richard Reed could breeze past the stooges with fuses attached to his shoes, as long has he was bare-headed. Jackasses.
I am sick to death of these intrusions, so an indignant email to the university administration will be forthcoming.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it.
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
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1 comment:
I love sending indignant emails and letters!
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