Jun 1, 2006

Wishing and Hoping

Have you ever wished something that happened, hadn't or that something that didn't, did? I sometimes do. I don't mean I wish I hadn't dropped that plate, or some other trivial thing. I mean life stuff. You know how you are nearly in a car wreck and think, "I could have died if I was one second faster to the intersection." What about those times when you had a near miss but were oblivious? For instance, I used to wish that I had gone to college right after high school. I intended to, but my family didn't have any money, so I went to work instead. It took years for me to finally graduate. It is easy to envy people who had a great college experience with their peers. I sometimes wish I had been in the military. I was drafted in 1968 and was deferred by the Army because they thought I had a lung disorder. It turned out to be a malfunction of their Xray equipment that caused the misunderstanding. By the time we sorted it out I was no longer eligible. I wish that my grandson didn't die when he was six, I wish that one every day. I used to wish that my company would give me a promotion to an important job, so that people would recognize that I was making an important contribution. What I have come to realize is that the granting of my every wish would rob me of somethings as important as those I think I missed out on. I graduated from college at 46. By then it was a personal accomplishment. It didn't change my financial or job prospects, but it changed me for me. If I had been in the Army in 1969, my daughter would not have been born in 1970. Vietnam was a scary place and who knows what might have happened to me. Even though my heart still aches 4 years later, if our grandson Christian had not died, my daughter would have never had his brother Noah, a boy I love with all my heart too. All those people I envied because they got ahead at work are all gone now, casualties of the dot-com bust. I am still there. So I guess my point is hope for the best, but recognize what you have because of what you didn't get. Tag:

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