This Just In.....

I just ran down to Costco (a big warehouse store if you are unfamiliar) to pick up some stuff (paid cash). I was listening to the radio and a commercial for a major banking outfit came on. I won't mentioned their name but they own a stagecoach. In the commercial a male voice is speculating about how great it would be to have all the money you needed or wanted. "You can," the narrator says. "It is possible with a Stagecoach Bank Home Equity Line-of-Credit (HELOC)." Gazooks!! All the money I ever wanted. How great is that? He goes on to say that you can use it to send the kids to college or add an energy- efficient room to the house. What responsible citizen of the planet wouldn't want to conserve energy or educate their kids? Why no one, that's who. It is practically your duty to borrow this money. Presumably, you could also use it to buy a Skidoo, boat, new car, or pay off the bazillions of dollars in credit card debt that has piled up on you. But who would do that? Would someone who has been irresponsible with debt risk the old homestead to buy some more cool stuff. No way I'm sure, and Stagecoach is pretty sure too, I think. The only people who get HELOCs are smart savvy responsible investor types, not spendthrifts and the broke, desperate and stupid, that's for sure. So here is the plan. First thing tomorrow we all go to the bank and get a HELOC for the whole shebang. That's right we borrow up to our eyeballs and we buy some energy-efficient and educational stuff asap. Are you with me? Anybody, anybody, anybody, Bueller, anybody? Don't borrow against your house, it is where you sleep.