My Eyes, My Eyes!

http://www.bigfoto.com I saw in the paper today that one of the fine dude ranches in my fair city is being redone as a clothing-optional resort, aka nudist colony. Not only that, it will be aimed at your 40 to 60 year-old nudist. Yikes! I shower every day with a 40 to 60 year-old naked guy and it is something you don't want to see. Heck, I don't even want to see most people in their summer attire. I prefer the Chicago in December look. You know the one where everyone is bundled up agains't the bitter wind blowing off Lake Michigan. It is the great equalizer. My solomn pledge to the world is this. I will not appear in public with any part of my torso visible. We wouldn't have to have this discussion if some people, and you know who you are, would use some restraint in their dress. Ladies, I don't wish to see your love handles sticking out over your low rider jeans. You may not know it but many times your butt crack shows when you sit. No thanks. As a side note, I saw a woman at the store wearing a top that tied around the back of the neck and was open in the back. She was wearing a standard model bra that was in plain sight, including the industrial-strenght hooks. May want to rethink that look. Men, I don't care to see your boxers because you are wearing pants that are too big for you. Hold off on the tank tops boys. If you insist upon shorts they should not be too short or too long. At all times no portion of your fat gut should hang out of your shirt. Folks I have enough issues myself without having to be embarrassed for you. Put a little thought into this, will ya?