Apr 24, 2006

Ain't Healthcare Great?

I thought that I had a doctor's appointment today. More on that later. I am pretty sure that medical offices exist so that surly young women will have a place to wear scrubs and a pretend they are in the healing arts. Healing is just something that goes on in backroom, their true business is weilding power over the masses. I had a friend once who was a car dealer. He told me that the only reason dealers sell cars is so that the manufacturers will let them do warranty work. Selling the crap is the ticket to the really big dough, fixing it. Doctor's office? Same deal. The only reason they allow people like me into the building is so that the HMO lets them do warranty work. If they could get the diseases to come in alone, they would. Anyway, I sign in and wait to be summoned to the front desk to pay my copay. While waiting, I hear someone say my doctor is running 90 minutes behind. He is always 90 minutes behind. I onced asked why they didn't call me to advise that they were 90 minutes behind schedule? That way I could have spent a few more minutes at work, rather than racing across town. The scrub-wearer looked me in the eye and said, "We don't do that." Glad we cleared that up. They also ask me everytime if they have a copy of my insurance card. They have files and computers and computer files, you think they would know. I am tempted to say no to see how many copies they will make before they notice the bulging pile. Hark! I hear my name. I hurry to the desk and this woman that scares me asks, "Merle, do you have an appointment?" This can't be good. "Well, I'm pretty sure I do, 3:15 pm", I relpy. It turns out I don't. After some computer sleuthing she finds that I'm scheduled for tomorrow. This launchs a discussion about who's wrong. It must be me because, as you may recall, they don't do that. Forget the fact that I have some pretty strong, anecdotal evidence that I am here on the right day. I ask her if they can work me in somehow. She sends me to the scheduler, who calls the doctor's nurse, who says maybe. Maybe, maybe what? I seems that I am supposed to wait and see if it works out. Otherwise I can come back tomorrow. I explain that I left work early, drove an hour to get there and that I have an appointment at 5:30pm. If I wait I have to be done at 5:00. It is now 3:20pm. No promises. So I guess I have to leave work again tomorrow, drive an hour there and sit 90 minutes in the office. By the way, while I typed this post they called to remind me of my appointment tomorrow at 3:15. "Will the doctor be running late tomorrow?", I ask. "We never know until that day", she says. Great ain't it?

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