Oct 27, 2011

I am going to conclude my history of my employment with an anecdote about a guy I worked for early in my career at Tedious Systems.  His name was Bob and he was a small man in stature and character.

Bob believe that he had a special superpower, one that allowed him to evaluate someone's worth as a person at first glance.  From the moment you first met Bob, you either had it or you didn't and nothing subsequent to that moment could change a thing.  It was predetermination.

Bob gathered those he found worthy around him and those of us deemed lacking, he shunned.  Bob felt it his duty to separate the wheat from the chaff.

Sometimes in the morning before we began our workday routines, Bob would wander the building with four or five of the Worthies following along, much as the students of Socrates or Plato might have.  Bob strove to remake them in his own image and they seemed eager for that transformation.

Often Bob's teaching came at the expense of the Outcasts.  Bob would find occasion to use the Outcasts for teachable moments.

Bob employed threats and he thrived on humiliating an Outcast before his adoring followers.

An expression Bob loved using with me was, "I've warned you about this before..."

Park the truck incorrectly, throw away something Bob might squeeze a bit more life from, fill out a form wrong and Bob was there to use you as an example and to remind you that he had warned you about this before.

One morning I was getting my truck loaded up for my day's work, when Bob and his mob suddenly appeared.  Bob began to berate me about the way in which I was removing trash from the truck.  When he got to the, "I've warned you before part", I snapped and told him to commit an act with himself that is clearly physically impossible.

Bob was enraged to the point that he grabbed me by the jacket and pushed me hard and I staggered backward, falling into the back of the truck.

"That is insubordination and you are going to be fired, "Bob shouted.

"That is assault and battery and you are going to be arrested,"  I shouted in reply.

The Mob was stunned, Bob was stunned...heck, I was stunned.  Bob and the Mob turned away in formation and stormed off.

Not knowing what else to do, I got into my work truck and drove off, fully expecting that Bob and his boss would find me and send me packing before the day was over.

Bob evidently spent the day agonizing over whether the police would come for him, because when he finally tracked me down, he asked if I had in fact called the cops?  When I said no, he suggested that we just forget the whole thing.

Bob didn't reform his ways, but at least he quit bothering me.



Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky


The Bug said...

Did he have pointy hair? Sheesh!

Kurt said...

I have yet to be assaulted by a boss.

Coffee Messiah said...

Seems we all have similar situations in our work history!

Caught up with your previous posts (and Thanks for dropping by) and I too remember making $100.00 wk, part time and going to art school after graduating hs) and boy that went a long way back then - compared to today - where one indeed works for less and does more jobs along the way - although I have 4 yrs to go, if I could leave ASAP I think about it every day -

BTW, Cheers to you and yours -

alphabet soup said...

Workplaces are such fun!!

I'm pleased mine are history now, although I didn't ever have anyone the likes of that sad little Bob person.

Ms Soup.

Anonymous said...

so you're a tough guy, eh?

Megan said...

I'm guessing this is Another Guy Named Bob.

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