Jan 17, 2011

Something interesting is going on down at the hardware store.  

Last year the folks who own and operate our little business got the idea to lower prices in order to better compete with the big box guys. 

Now, we are selling more stuff to more people, for less money.  Lower prices have brought in additional business, but not enough to compensate for the lower prices.

An undeniable rule of profit and loss is that if you lower a price and cut your profit margin on it in half, you have to sell twice as much at the new price to just stay even.

The ownership is panicked and as we all know panic rolls downhill.

Since the new plan hasn't worked out like we had hoped, there will be austerity measures, payroll budgets, violators will be dealt with.  We aren't kidding, this means you.

So, we had a meeting to set out "standards".  We used to have goals, but now we have standards.  As our assistant leader said, "Goals are nice, standards are what we WILL do."

Wait, while I cower in the corner.

Our "standards"  really boil down to this;  sell more stuff or your ass is grass! 

Dear Assistant Leader always get the role of bad cop.

The rub in this whole business is that they really have no way to track our individual sales.  Nor do we have individual goals, er, standards, for sales.  We get judged by anecdotes.  If you want to increase sales, offer an incentive, not a threat. 

Have you ever had a job where you don't care if you get fired?  It is a good feeling.  As my old dad once told me, when they lose their power to fire you, work is a lot more fun.

I really like working in the hardware store for the most part.  It keeps me busy, our customers are as good as it gets in retail and the pittance they pay me keeps me in bowling and golf money.

Plus, if I get fired over the "standards", I don't give a crap.

Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky


tut-tut said...

Standards are so elusive . . .

Kurt said...

I was once fired from a job (not the only time), but the woman forgot that I had already quit two weeks prior and she had asked me to stay on until they could find a replacement.

The Bug said...

LOL at Kurt - that's just sad :)

I treat my job as if I don't care if I get fired, but I'd better watch it because Dr. M & I NEED me to have that job. Don't think I could replace it very easily. Darn, I'll have to be a better employee won't I?

I'm mostly kidding - I think my boss I fairly thrilled with my work performance. It's just our political arguments that might get me fired sometime :)

Rebecca Clayton said...

I go back and forth between "I've quit better jobs than this one," and
"I was lookin' for a job when I found this one." (Variety being the spice of life and all.)

Reya Mellicker said...

It's the best of all worlds, Merle. I feel sorry for asst. leader though.

Bella Rum said...

Yes, your situation is the same as my husband's. He enjoys his job, but he doesn't have to keep it. It took a lot of years to get here, though, didn't it?

Anonymous said...

I look forward to the day my employer loses the power of firing me.

Anonymous said...

I look forward to the day my employer loses the power of firing me.