Feb 3, 2010

I have two keys on my keyring that look exactly the same. Just like this one. One is for my car and the other for Mrs. Sneed's car. It seems to me that I have a 50-50 chance of trying the right key first when I start my car. So, why am I wrong 75% of the time?

What would you think if you checked your cellphone and found that you have six missed calls and three voice mails? You might  think there was an emergency.  I would think that.

I only get about 10 calls a month,  so six in a  short time span is something that sets off my worry meter.

When I went to lunch today, I checked my phone, fully expecting nothing, and plenty of it.    I was surprised to see the previously mentioned six missed calls and three  voice mails.

Message one was from Some Guy Named Bob.  He wanted me to give him The Seafood King's cell number.   He managed to accidentally erase it from his phone.  He  wanted me to call him, asap.

I've only told Some Guy Named Bob about 25 times that I can't answer my phone at work and that I leave it in my locker when I am working. 

He also knows that I work on Wednesday because he pops in all the time, to just say hello.  We are next door to a thrift shop, which for  Some Guy Named Bob, is a religious shrine.

The second message was also from Some Guy Named Bob, asking if I received his first message and reminding me how urgent it was that I call him back with the phone number.

So, I called him before listening to message three, which I assumed would be similar to messages one and two.

Some Guy Named Bob told me that I must not have listened to message three, since in it, he told me to disregard all messages.  He managed to get The Seafood King's cell number by, and I am not making this up, calling The Seafood King's house and asking Mrs. Seafood King for it.  That might have been my first call, but hey that's me.

In the end all the messages and the missed calls were from Some Guy Named Bob.  I guess emergency is in the eye of the beholder.

When I saw The Seafood King tonight he said Some Guy Named Bob called him about ten time today before he was finally able to talk to him.  The Seafood King is a call screener, so if he isn't in the mood to talk, he won't answer, not to mention that he has the fish empire to run.

"What was so urgent?"

"Nothing much.  He reminded me of our golf tomorrow. "

Some Guy Named Bob called me Sunday and told me to tell the The Seafood King about golf tomorrow.  Then he called The Seafood King on Monday to tell him himself.  Why all the frantic calls today is a mystery.

Here's a small tribute to Some Guy Named Bob from the movie Caddyshack.  One of the classics.  The key phrase occurs at 44 seconds into the clip.

The man is a menace, but he's our menace.

Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky


Anonymous said...

I turn my phone off before getting in the car, and upon entering a library or any really crowded place where I won't feel comfortable answering it. (like a busy cafe.) later when I remember to switch it back on it is full of the same sort of "urgent" messages!

Barbara said...

For some people, a cell phone is like a powerful pacifier. Sounds like SGNB is one of them. Just wait till he learns how to text.

Kurt said...

The instant access that cell phones make possible is what creates the "emergencies."

Bella Rum said...

Hilarious! Still laughing!

The Bug said...

Oh that's hilarious! I never have calls on my phone either. Sometimes I feel like Charlie Brown checking the mailbox...

Except a couple of months ago I kept getting text messages about a problem with my Amex account in Lebanon. A: I do not live in Lebanon (a small town in Ohio, not the country). B: I have never had an Amex card. I got charged for the texts because it went over my limit (I don't have a text message plan because I do not know how to text). Grrr.

mouse (aka kimy) said...

ha ha

he's own menace!

never saw caddyshack, but with lines like "music is a violation of our privacy" I think I'm going to have to rectify this!

hey, does sgnb know that he is a recurring topic of interest? and how famous he in in the bloggyhood!