Jul 7, 2009

We all have things that we believe in or don't believe in. My dermatologist, Dr. Smartypants for instance, doesn't believe in cortisone flare. What is cortisone flare, you might ask? It is a temporary inflammation, of a joint following a cortisone injection. Google "cortisone flare" and you get over 43,000 hits, many by actual licensed doctors. Evidently, Dr. Smartypants doesn't do Google. I suffer from a skin condition called Prurigo Nodularis, or PN for short. Basically, I get small itchy nodules on my arms and hands. Believe you me when I tell you it is every bit as sexy as it sounds. In fact, young women will frequently come into the store and ask to see the PN dude. Then, I'm forced to try to do my work with a bevy of giggling admirers following me around. This is not my actual arm, but is a good representation of a PN nodule. But back to Dr. Smartypants, Cortisone Flare Denier, M.D. Once a month, I go in to see Dr. Smartypants and receive a bunch of cortisone injections. If you have never had shots in you hands, you don't know what you are missing. The shots in the arms are not so bad, but the hands, jeezaloo, they hurt. Anyway, most months I get the cortisone reaction to the shots in the form of swelling and pain, in or near a joint. A week ago I got a shot in my right index finger's knuckle and it has swelled up like a sumabitch. A week later, it is still painful and swollen. As Humphrey Bogart might have said, had he suffered from a condition requiring cortisone injections, "Of all the shots, in all the joints, in all my life, this one was the worst." Of course, it is all in my mind. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

5 comments:

mum said...

ouch.ouch.ouch. just reading it hurts.Man. Can you get another doctor? another treatment? ouch.

I don't want to hurt your feelings on top of everything else, but are you sure the bevy of giggling beauties isn't a cortisone-induced fantasy? (Sorry, Merle, don't want to rain on your parade.)

Hope you feel better soon.

Steve said...

Youch.

What happens if you don't get the injections, Merle?

Kurt said...

My urologists doesn't think vitamin or mineral supplements are useful for anything. Then he told me that everyone in this northern city is vitamin D deficient.

Barbara said...

It's too bad there's not a natural remedy to deal with PN. Cortisone is nasty stuff.

It seems that medical school doesn't cover everything. Despite what we might think, doctors are people just like the rest of us. But most doctors do know how to use Google!

Megan said...

That's no fun at all.