Jan 29, 2009

Governor Rod Blagojevich, D-Il was removed from office this afternoon by a 59-0 vote in the state senate. The senators also barred Blagojevich from ever again holding public office in Illinois. "That seems harsh to me," said the ex-governor. A prominent state senator, speaking off the record, said that the unanimous vote reflects the disgust that senators from both sides of the aisle have for the former governor. "This is Illinois for Christ's sake. Illinois school kids know how to beat a wire tap and this meathead gets caught. We simply can't have this level of incompetence on the part of our governor. This will embolden the FBI and we simply can't allow that." A late-day crisis briefly threatened to derail the gubernatorial transition when it was discovered that the ex-governor had changed the locks in the Governor's offices and was locked inside, refusing to come out. The situation was defused when a custodian, Maria Sanchez, walked in on the sleeping ex-governor. "He just forgot to lock the outside exit door to the governor's bathroom", said Sanchez. She also shrugged off suggestions that she was a hero saying, "I clean the bathroom everyday at five. It's no big deal." Police spokesman, Captain Otto Pulaski confirmed that the ex-governor had been planning this lock changing strategy for some time. "We found some DVDs and manuals about locksmithing in his private office," remarked Pulaski. "It looks like he was taking some kind of online deal." Also early this evening the pilot of the Governor's plane suddenly remembered that the ex-governor had borrowed the keys to the executive plane to "get some sh*t out of the back." Police found the keys in the sofa where the former chief executive was found sleeping. "The public was never in any danger, but having the keys to the plane in the hands of a guy like this is something we never want to see. But, this is what we train for," said Pulaski. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

3 comments:

Reya Mellicker said...

Did you see his "press conference" after he was ousted? Whoa! And people think I'm weird.

Barbara said...

How did this nutcase get elected in the first place?

Megan said...

Maria is my heroine of the day.