I'm Pulling For The Rats

This is the Woodstream M201 Victor Rat Trap, the mother of all rat killers. If this baby snaps on you (assuming you are a rat), all hope is lost. This trap is not some puny mousie trap, it is a big mother. It can break a finger if you aren't careful. It retails for three bucks in our store and can be had on the internet for about two. To me three bucks is small change if you need to kill you some rats. I personally wouldn't, but I respect your right to make your own decisions with respect to vermin eradication. Sometimes our customers take advantage of our helpful nature, either because they are clueless, or feel entitled. Sometimes a guy is just an old pain-in-the-ass, with too much time on his hands and obivious to the fact that some people are actually working. Case in point. This morning, bright and early, I was talking to the boss and one of my coworkers, when an old guy approached us carrying what must have been the original prototype for the Woodstream M201 Victor Rat Trap. It was old and worn out. Its wood was cracking and its metal parts rusty. Clearly it was well past its useful life. The guy asked me, and I am not making this up, if I could fix the petal which holds down the snap when the trap is armed? He claimed that he could fix but he can't see that well and doesn't want to lose a finger. I assumed that he was joking with me, so I went and fetched him a new Woodstream M201 Victor Rat Trap. No dice, he really wanted it fixed. I looked around to find that my coworkers had abandoned me. The boss later confided that they both saw him coming and beat feet because they know how he is, which you will recall is a, an old pain-in-the-ass with too much time on his hands and no respect for other people's time. I tried to tell the guy that the trap was worn out, but he insisted that it still had a lot of life in it, (or death if you are a rat). I explained to him that a new one would only set him back three bucks. He looked at me like I said the stupidest thing he has heard in a while and he asked me why he should spend three bucks to replace a perfectly good Woodstream M201 Victor Rat Trap? My inclination was to tell him to beat it, but that's not how we roll down in the hardware store. Unfortunately. Instead, I bent and twisted the little petal, this way and that until it held the snap in the armed position. With a final lecture about the virtues of not buying needless new stuff, off he went to do battle with the rodents. I'm betting the next time I see him he will have maimed his fingers. At least I can hope so. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky