Feb 7, 2008

You Drove Into The Space I Was Attempting To Occupy

I met a guy named Les today and frankly, I wish I hadn't. Technically, I didn't actually meet him, we just ran into each other, or rather, he ran into me. I was driving home about 4:30 this afternoon after playing golf with the usual suspects, The Seafood King, Some Guy Named Bob and Seafood, Jr. I was traveling in the curb (fast lane) of an busy six-lane divided road, minding my own business, when a fellow, the aforementioned Les, changed lanes into me, causing me to slam on the brakes and skid into the curb. Despite my stuntman-like evasive maneuvers, Les sideswiped me, leaving the driver's side of his car pressed against my passenger side and my poor little Civic jammed against the curb. Since my Civic is approximately the size of a Barnum and Bailey clown car, the mishap also left Les and me sitting about three feet apart, staring at one another through our respective windows. I put down my window and Les immediately spouted a question that is destined to become a part of Sneed family lore. "You drove into in the space I was attempting to occupy." To which I responded, "Are you nuts?" In the parallel universe where Les lives the right-of-way goes to guys named Les. All other should get the hell out of the way. Les began to loudly explain to me that he needed to make a left turn at the next light. I on the other hand, tried in vain to tell him that I was more or less in the way at the moment the idea occurred to him. His rejoinder was that he really needed to make a left. Well, if I had only known, I could have run off the road or something. I told Les to move his car so that we could get out of traffic because we were blocking two lanes. He replied that I should move first. I pointed out to him that he had me pinned between his car and the curb. He seemed oblivious to the notion that two rather large chunks of matter can not occupy the same space at the same time. This despite his recent practical demonstration of that very point. Finally, with a giant sigh of disgust, he backed up a bit and accompanied by the sound of scraping metal, got clear of me and drove away. I got my cellphone out of my pocket and called 9-1-1 to ask for an officer to respond to the scene. Since I was unsure about the damage to either vehicle or even whether old Les had fled the scene, this seemed like the best thing to do. I told the police that I would wait for the officer at a restaurant on the corner. I pulled into the parking lot and got out of my car. To my surprise, my boy Les was parked in the same lot. Luckily, the damage to both cars looked to be relatively minor. Les just sat in his car, which was a relief to me, since frankly, he seemed a bit nuts. In fairness he was probably just a little rattled, but the last thing I wanted to have was another conversation with the guy about how this was all my fault. What I was mostly concerned about was that if we just exchanged insurance information, the details of the accident would become a he said/he said affair and we would each wind up taking fifty percent of the blame. Merle Sneed is like a felony rap; the evidence has to beyond a reasonable doubt before I accept blame. In this case it wasn't even close. The police responded in a miraculous ten minutes. Les admitted to the cop that he may not have actually looked to see if "the space he was attempting to occupy" was already occupied before making his lane change. The police officer wrote up an accident report, cited Les for making an unsafe lane change and sent us on our way. As it turns out, although Les says he has insurance, he was unable to provide the specifics of his coverage to the police. The police officer told me that there was no notice of cancellation of insurance against Les's license, so he probably has coverage. I called my company and made a report. The bad news is that they suggest I fix the car, and pay my deductible. Then they will go after Les to get our money back. My instinct was to blow the whole thing off since the damage seems minor, that is until I opened the passenger door and discovered that it makes a loud cracking noise while opening and closing. Postscript: In mid-blog, I got a call from the fine folks at Progressive Insurance telling me that their driver, old you-know-who, is 100% at fault and that they will be by tomorrow to assess the damage and either have it fixed or give me the money to have it fixed. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

11 comments:

d. chedwick bryant said...

Thank Goodness you weren't hurt!
With nuts like that on the road being a 'defensive driver' is pretty meaningless. Glad it turned out Ok.

Bob Dylan said...

How was the golf game?

Does your car have airbags?

Julia said...

His response is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. I'm glad you're alright.

Steve said...

Wow!! You're having a heck of a week, huh? First sickness and now this!

Sounds to me like Les is a little wacked out. I'm glad the insurance company and the cops saw it that way too. (More or less.)

"Bon courage" in getting your car fixed!

d. chedwick bryant said...

well, at least when we meet folks like Les, we can look forward to not meeting another Les for a year or so.

d. chedwick bryant said...

I meant meet totally irrational people, not people who crash into us.

dennis said...

Dennis could go over to this Les guys house and annoy him real bad .

Kurt said...

I feel a little bad for Les. I mean, how does he get by in this difficult modern world? And now he may lose his insurance.

Squirrel said...

I think Les reads too many Sci Fi books. Maybe he thought you could just go into Hover Mode so he could occupy that space he wanted.

Squirrels have a lot of problems with changing lanes too.

d. chedwick bryant said...

Wait a minute! There's a Seafood Junior? Have you mentioned him before? Your social world just keeps expanding!

Chedwick University said...

The trustees, Faculty, students, and cafeteria Ladies are all glad you survived the car crash.

Things are going well at the Uni. We have found the culprit who vandalized the bench, and he will be dealt with. The building of the new library is going well, and the Delts have been removed from campus permanently. Test scores are way up--currently every student is on the honor roll.
The school mascot is still missing and we may need to get a new one.

That's about it.