Jan 1, 2008

New Year's Day

If I made New Year's resolutions and if I had made one to buy more garage door openers, I would already be on my way to success. Yep, our garage door opener has crapped out. Nearly thirteen years of faithful service, biding us adieu and welcoming us home are over. I had to go and buy an new opener today and hopefully tomorrow I can install it. I think it is time to revisit my predictions for 2007, which I posted last January 1st. I predicted: 1. A poll will indicate that the average American believes that while they are doing okay personally, they are worried about the health of the economy and its effect on others. This article reporting on the The ABC News/Washington Post Consumer Comfort Index reported the following in August of 2007. They reported that only 32% of respondents thought that the US economy was doing okay, but 53% reported that they are personally doing alright. Prediction: Correct 2. A prominent American politician will be implicated in a sex-related scandal. Two words--Larry Craig Prediction: Correct 3. Scientists will not conclusively prove that tornadoes are attracted to trailer parks by some link to aluminum, although anecdotal evidence will continue to point that way. Okay I wasn't serious, but I'm still right. 4. Officials will be concerned about the bird flu and local TV reporters will solemnly ask the question, Could bird flu strike here and just how prepared are we? By the way, the answers are maybe and not very. I can't prove this for bird flu, but this story gets reported for virtually any calamity, so I'm taking credit. Prediction: Correct 5. Studies will show that where ever you live things are below the national average, unless they are bad things, in which case they are above the national average. Another canned report that happens all the time. Taking credit. 6. People will continue to clamor for affordable health care. The newly empowered Democrats will make it a priority and will succeed in making matters even worse. Anyone happy with the health care situation? Prediction: Correct 7. Paris Hilton, Madonna, Linsay Lohan and Brittney Spears will all do or say something stupid or embarrassing. Disclaimer: I think I could identify Madonna on sight, but the other three look the same to me. I don't know why I lumped Madonna in with the other three. Madonna is just annoying, the other three are skanky public menaces. Prediction: Correct 8. A prominent entertainer, athlete or politician will go into rehab. The publicist for the celebrity will assure an adoring public that he, she or it became addicted to painkillers after surgery from a skiing accident. Bonus prediction: Several important world figures will also die this year. A gimme. 9. A survey will show that Americans resolve to pay down their debt. They mostly won't. Can you say subprime? Prediction: Correct 10. Merle Sneed will continue to complain about stuff, mostly his crappy job. Shooting fish in a barrel. Prediction: Correct So there it is, eight right and a couple that are probably right. If you need any thing predicted, write your request on the back of a one hundred dollar bill and send it to me. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

7 comments:

Kurt said...

You're a God.

Julia said...

#5 is doubly if not triply true if you live in South Carolina.

Great list.

Steve said...

You're freakin' me out, Merle.

d. chedwick bryant said...

O great & powerful Sneed-- the first two were predictions of Denial... everyone is in denial for a number of issues in their lives, right? Craig's whole family has joined him.

---your predictions were well thought out.

My friends laughed at me when I failed to recognize Jessica Simpson. I get the all the ones with the long blonde hair confused. I thought Faith Hill was Jessica Simpson once.

Squirrel said...

I just surfed in to find more stuff out about larry craig! I'm a bit disbepointed.

taco fetishist said...

you a a greular nostrildamas

Terri@SteelMagnolia said...

No one will ever fix our healthcare system...

it's too big of a business....

too bad for those of us w/children w/ lifetime health issues...

WE ARE GOING TO BE ON CNN REAL SOON!!
AN HOUR LONG SPECIAL ON HEALTCARE..
I WAS INTERVIEWED FOR 3 HOURS.