Long time Sneed blog readers know my position on God. I don't think that there is a God. I might be wrong though. I for sure don't see any evidence that if God created the universe, He cares one wit about our day-to-day lives. The existence of God simply doesn't matter to me. But this rant is not really about God, so I'll stop. My friend is in the middle of a trying time. One of her toddlers has a heart defect and will have surgery to correct the problem...heart surgery. Think about that for a minute. A tiny tot is having her heart cut open so that the doctor can repair a flaw. Very scary stuff, even if it almost always works out just fine. She is worried and that may be an understatement. She is also struggling with the reactions of others to her angst. Some people are even offering platitudes, religious thought and cutesy motivational shinola in an effort to allay her fears or as a weapon to crush them. Here's a clue. She gets to be worried out of her mind and no amount of platitudinous bullsh*t will or should, change that one bit. She's a mom and she gets to be worried about her baby. Offering up crap like "finding the good in every situation" or "give it to God", trivializes the serious of the matter and disrespects her feelings. Anyone who wouldn't be worried under these circumstances, either has no feelings or has stuffed them way down deep inside. Or they are just an idiot. Anyone who tells you that they have the peace that passes all understanding in this situation is just full of crap. They mistake their good fortune for insight, the smoothness of their life as proof of God's love for them. One thing that is decidedly unhelpful is for people to say that things will turn out alright. That is of course, unless they can actually predict the future. Then it is real helpful. My experience is that most people can't predict the future. People are telling my friend how to feel (don't worry) and how to deal with her feelings (pray, my dear, or be optimistic). I've been there and I can tell you, it doesn't help. There is nothing anyone can say that makes things better for a parent who has to put the life of her child in the hands another. Even if the other is a highly-trained and skilled surgeon who has done this procedure dozens of times. Until the doctor says, "She did great and things look real good", worry is the order of the day. When our little guy was killed a lot of well-meaning people said a lot of really stupid stuff to us. Sometimes they were just trying to say something to bring comfort to the situation. Other times they were talking. Some of the most meaningless platitudes were offered by religious people. More than one knucklehead said that God has a plan. Well yeah, he planned to kill my grandson. As plans go, I have to tell you that one sucks. So, I just pass on asking that this God take my pain away. If He exists, he has done quite enough. Sometimes people will tell you that God doesn't give you more than you can handle. What a load. Sometimes you do get more than you can handle. Not killing yourself is not evidence of handling adversity. Just surviving day-to-day isn't evidence either. Sometimes life deals you a body blow that changes you forever, and not for the better. If you believe in God and that gives you some measure of comfort, good for you. Me, not so much. So, at the end of the day, bad things happen to good people, as the man said. I don't think it is some part of a divine plan, it is plain old lousy breaks. Sometimes things can be done to fix it and sometimes they can't. The darkest moment of life for a parent is to face the death of their child, even if it is the remotest of chances that the worst will happen. We fear the worst because we are human and our children are the most important thing in our lives. So, here's a tip. When you have a friend or loved one in crisis, don't make false assurances or offer silly platitudes. Just let them know you are there if they need help and then shut up. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky