The Inside Scoop, With Some Stuff I May Have Made Up.

O.J. Simpson, the man with possible the biggest head in the United States, is in the news again. By the biggest head in the US, I don't mean just the size of his ego. I mean his noggin. Have you ever noticed the size of that thing? It's enormous.

In case you missed the story, let me recap the events as they stand.

A sports memorabilia collector named Tom Riccio, was contacted by some guys who said that they had some of OJ's sports memorabilia for sale. Riccio arranged to meet the sellers, on the pretext of being interested in buying the goods. He also tipped off O.J., who claims the items were stolen from him. When interviewed by Las Vegas police, Mr. Simpson couldn't remember when or from where the items were taken.

Mr. Simpson's claim of rightful ownership of the items is legally questionable seeing as how the murdering skunk was ordered to sell them and give the proceeds the Goldman family. The Goldman's were awarded a civil judgment against Simpson for his role in the murder of Ron Goldman. You may recall that Simpson fled California for Florida to avoid paying that judgment.

Simpson said he was in Las Vegas to attend a friend's wedding and that the mob that accompanied him in the alleged break in, were just a bunch of guys he just met at the reception. Simpson said that when he shouted, "Who wants to kick some sports collector ass?", during the tossing of the bridal bouquet and a bunch of guys just stepped up and offered to help.

O.J. and his impromptu posse waited for Riccio to arrive at the meeting in a room at the Palace Station Hotel in Las Vegas, and then barged in and took back the disputed items. The sellers called the cops to report that O.J. and his makeshift crew had used guns to pull off what they claimed was a robbery.

Simpson and the other members of the gang, dispute the robbery claim. Simpson claims that he was invited into the room and that when told that the items were stolen, the sellers promptly returned them to him. He said that reports that he wore a Ninja suit during the encounter were overblown.

A reasonable person would have contacted the police to report that stolen merchandise was being offered for sale, but that apparently didn't occur to The Juice and his pal Riccio. He told police that he was conducting a "sting operation".

According to Las Vegas police officials, Simpson said that he forgot he doesn't have sworn police powers. Mr. Simpson however claims that his extensive investigation into his ex-wife's murder and his tireless search for the real killers of Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman, has conferred a special auxiliary police status on him.

Las Vegas police spokesman, Kip Shipman, said that Simpson's claim of policing power is "legally doubtful".

Simpson also dismissed the gun allegation as ridiculous, claiming that everyone knows that he is a knife man. Police officials have not recovered any guns, but a bloody glove was rumored to have been found in the hallway. Police expect Simpson to remain in Las Vegas until the matter is fully investigated.

Simpson is reportedly contacting members of the jury from his original murder trial to see if they will be in Las Vegas anytime soon, should this matter go to trial. Johnnie Cochran was unavailable for comment.




Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky