Am I a Keen Observer of the Human Condition or a Freak Magnet?

Rain!



























I had a doctor's appointment this morning. I have been going to the same doctor since we were both young. He continues to be amazed by my physical condition. He said that I have the body of a man half my age. Or was it twice my age? One or the other.

The doctor made me come in for something he called a medicine check. Apparently, when you are on long-term prescriptions drugs the doctor wants to check you out from time to time. Sounds like a scam to me.

I had a hassle with my insurance, too. Tedious Systems wasted no time in dropping me from my coverage as an active employee the moment I was off the premises. They were not as quick to show me as an eligible retired employee, though. The front desk person at the doctor's office told me I had no coverage and would have to pay up in cash. This led to a call to the insurance company and to the crack Tedious Systems benefits team.

In the end they both agreed that I would be covered retroactive to the 1st of July, but that it would take a few more days to sort it out. I hate dealing with insurance. The front desk person told me to ask the doctor what he wanted me to do about paying today. He was as perplexed by this request as I figured he would be. He told me to tell her to figure it out. Do I get a discount for this impromptu arbitration? Heck no.

I also went to get my haircut this morning and I ran into the most cynical man I have ever met. No it isn't me, it was the barber.

The shop I go to is probably the strangest barbershop in the world. It is a little hole in the wall, landlocked by a car lot and a strip mall. The car lot owner has been making this guy's life difficult for years in an attempt to get the building, but he refuses to close up. Apparently, it is the principle of the matter.

The cast of barbers changes constantly, I think because the shop doesn't have enough traffic to support more than one barber full time. There is a woman who has been there forever because she has a loyal following, but you just never know who the second barber will be. Today it was a guy who was pissed off at everyone.

When I arrived, my barber was sitting in his chair waiting for someone to come in. He was watching a policeman across the street who was investigating a large truck and flatbed trailer loaded with copper plates, that had been left in a vacant lot. The barber assured me that all cops are crooked and that there would soon be several other police cars over there. The copper plates, he confidently predicted, would wind up at the salvage yard, with the ill-gotten proceeds lining the pockets of the police.

A few minutes later the policeman left, having written the truck owner a ticket. All copper plates still safely on the trailer, but my guy was on to the next conspiracy.

His next ax to grind was with the courts, which he told me are full of scam artists. It seems he was caught driving with no license, insurance or valid license plates. He objected to paying fines in addition to the cost of getting a license, etc. The fines, he assured me, wind up being split between the police and court officials. That is why, he said, that the cop left a ticket on the truck across the way. He gets a cut of every ticket. I thought he was there to steal the copper, but maybe I missed something.

I was hoping he would ask what I do for a living so I could say that I am a policeman, but then again he might have cut my throat. You never know.

And speaking of driving, how about those gas prices, he asked? Big oil has plenty of gas on hand but won't bring it to market because they want to keep the price high, you may not know that. Just like the darn drug companies. They have cures that they are keeping off the market to keep us sick.

Fortunately, it doesn't take long to cut my hair and I escaped without any more conspiracies to mull over. Heaven knows, my head was already spinning with the food for thought he gave me.

Here's another thing. I hate it when I forget to do something because I will remember that I forgot at the most inopportune moment.

The Seafood King told me the other day that one of the credit card machines at the restaurant was still not working. When I went over to fix the phones and other telecommunications devices, there was one credit card machine that they didn't tell me they had. I told him that I would go back over and get it going. Then I promptly forgot to do it.

When I was leaving the barbershop it sprang into my brain. It is an easy thing to fix and only took a couple of minutes, but I had to drive across town to do it. Plus I showed up during the lunch rush and had to dodge frantic workers going back and forth.

I was able to toss a bunch of crap that I took out of the garage into his dumpster, so that was worth the trip.






Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky


Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor