The lovely Mrs. Sneed and I were detained today at the Gate C security screening area of McCarran International Airport. My people are working furiously behind the scenes to insure that this matter doesn't become public. After the mess Brittney and Lindsay found themselves in, I don't want publicity, that's for sure.
As we passed our carry-on bags through the x-ray gizmo, the eagle-eyed TSA guy in charge of staring at your underwear, shouted out "Bag check", which sent one of the security staff sprinting toward him. The conveyor belt ground to a halt and the two of them stared intently at something through their high tech x-ray scope. That something turned out to be my bag.
The special agent on duty, Delores, grabbed the bag and yelled, "who owns this?", holding my bag up. I admitted that it was me. She demanded to know what I had in the bag and did it include anything sharp? I was inclined to offer that they should know since they spent a minute staring at it through the x-ray machine, but I didn't. Delores took us to a secluded area, where she pulled on a pair of blue latex gloves and announced that she was going to search my belongings.
I offered that the bag only contained my dirty clothes and the lovely Mrs. Sneed added that Delores might want to double-glove for this job. Delores wasn't amused. She tore into the bag and pulled out a ziplock bag of cosmetic items. She removed the large tube of Colgate toothpaste and said it was not legal to carry on. It seems that there is a 3.9 oz size limitation on toothpaste carried on a plane. My tube was a whopping 8.2 oz.
Evidently, someone at Homeland Security has figured out that a 3.9 oz toothpaste tube cannot be repacked with enough explosives to bring down an airplane. Anything over 3.9 oz might be lethal, including my 8.2 oz behemoth. I wonder if I can carry on 2 3.9 oz tubes? Isn't that the same thing more or less? I resisted the urge to ask.
I have had this tube for a couple of years, and I always take it along on vacation. It has enough miles on it to qualify for its own frequent flier card. No one has ever challenged it before, including on the trip to Las Vegas on Sunday. Today, it met its match in Delores.
Delores said that I would have to take it downstairs and check it, if I wished to keep it. I don't think you can really check a tube of toothpaste, so I told her to toss it out. Anyway, the friendly skies remain safe, thanks to Delores and the dedicated men and women of the Transportation Security Administration.
Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky
Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor
4 comments:
She's brushing her teeth with it right now.
well I'm with Delores on this one--why does your toothpast need a graphic of a CLOCK on it? Looks like a TIMER for some device. Really, they should re-think the images they put on packaging.
Delores is such a liar. She just didn't want to walk her fat butt into Wal-Mart after a long day of staring at peoples' underwear to buy toothpaste.
I've come a bit late to this post Merle, every so often I can't scroll down beyond a certain point in your post so I have to wait for this anomaly to pass and then I catch up. Like now. I laughed out loud at this post but I certainly wouldn't be laughing if my bags were being searched...
I had a similiar experience at a domestic terminal here with soap powder. How much soap powder does it take to blow up a plane do you think?? I reckon it's more tha a kilogram.
Ms Soup
Post a Comment