What Do You Call 5 Lawyers At The Bottom Of The Ocean?

I went to pick up a check from a lawyer's office today. This has it all over having to drop one off. The circumstance that caused this was a traffic accident that I was involved in a few days before Christmas last year. I was waiting at a traffic light when a big white sedan backing up through traffic at a fairly high rate of speed, crashed into me. You might say, "Heck Merle, how fast could the car have been going?" Well, it seemed like a hundred miles per hour, but was about 15 or 20 miles per hour. The woman driving accidentally put her car in reverse and floored it, and was unable to correct her error. Fortunately, I was able to prevent her from causing further damage to the motoring public by being in her path. The damage to my truck was around $2500 and the associated medical bills were around $4000. The other driver's insurance paid my repair bills, but the adjuster for the other company was difficult to work with because he wouldn't return my calls. After several months, I grew tired of trying to reach him and decided to hire a lawyer to get his attention. I didn't have any illusion that I was getting more money that way, I just didn't want to deal with a bunch of hassles. The lawyer was quick to tell me his services would cost me one third of whatever he collected. This is a standard deal in the US personal-injury business and was fine by me, since one third of not much is not much. About a month ago I got a call that the other company had made an offer to settle. We discussed it by phone and my lawyer counter-offered. The company then countered back and we agreed. Fairly straightforward stuff and trust me when I tell you we are not talking about much money. Three weeks ago, I got a call from Vera in my lawyer's office, asking me to come in and sign the settlement check. Then Vera promptly went on vacation and when I went to sign the next day, there was chaos since she was gone. After some discussion they had me sign the check and a release for the other company. They said that they would give me my two-thirds of the settlement just as soon as the check cleared the bank. Probably in three days, they said. So I waited. After a week I called back and was told that Vera was still out, so they put Diane on the phone. Diane said that since Vera was out, she didn't have all the final figures, but she would talk to the boss about how to handle things and call me back. Three days later, I called back. This time Vera and Diane were both off work and the lawyer was apparently filling in as the receptionist. He said he would talk to whoever came in first and that they would call back the next day for sure. Three days later I called again to find Vera in and Diane out. Vera said that Diane axtually wrote the checks and since she was out there could be a problem getting one. Plus she said there were several medical bills outstanding, that had to be paid before I could get my money and she didn't know how long that would take. Well, I knew for sure that all the bills she cited had been paid by the medical payments coverage on my car insurance, but she wouldn't take my word for it. I had to call my insurance company and the physical therapy provider I used, to get them to fax proof to her. At the end of the day, literally the end of the day, I picked up most of the settlement, with a few dollars held back, just in case. I didn't want the money as much as I wanted this mess cleared up. It had the potential to drag on and on. Plus it kind of bugged me that they were anxious for me to sign the check so that they got paid, but when it came time for me to collect, things got hosed up and I seemed to be the only one concerned about it. Isn't this always the story? If Vera isn't off, Diane is. If Diane's here Vera's gone. They don't do what they are supposed to do or the paperwork is lost. I should have just handled it myself because in the end it was about the same amount of hassle. Merle. By the way, the answer is a good start. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgemental and cranky Tag: Daily Life Personal Finance Humor