You Want Fries With That?

Perhaps you have had this experience. It happens at all sorts of places these days and it is called the up-sell. It basically means going somewhere to buy something and being offered the chance to buy a bunch of other stuff you never imagined you needed. Up-selling been around as long as people have been selling stuff. It is just that it is getting worse, largely due to competition. Many stores try to up-sell high markup stuff because the margin on big ticket items is often slim. For instance, I went to buy a cord to extend a UBS port at Best Buy. Their price was about $30. A similar item at Target was $10. Best Buy carries a bunch of high-dollar, low-margin items and has to make their money by up-selling the things that can be marked way up. Target makes a profit on a zillion things. I realize that employees up-sell because their job depends on doing so. I guess I can't hold it against them. Most retail places have up-sell quotas for their employees to meet. That doesn't mean I'm buying though, in fact it means I'm probably not. This morning I stopped to get the oil in my truck changed at a national franchise operation called Jiffy Lube. You have probably seen their signs or been to their stores. First thing is that there is nothing Jiffy about them, but that is a different issue altogether. I drove up to the place and was directed to the waiting room where I remained like a condemned man awaiting the warden. I knew it was just a matter of moments before one of the employees would show up with a list of stuff I ought to get done. I'm convinced you could drive a new car off the lot, two blocks down the street to a Jiffy Lube and they would still produce a list of recommended services that you really, really need. Sure enough, fives minutes after I arrived a young woman calls out, "Silver pickup." I raise my hand and she comes over, list in hand. She says that the manufacturer recommends x, y and z every 30,000 miles and since I have 48,000 miles on the truck, I need to get them done. I tell her that x, y and z were done at 30,000 miles and that she should see me at 60,000, the next increment of 30,000, as I figure it. Not to be deterred she tells me that I also need an air filter every 12,000 miles. That pushed me over the edge. I sort of politely told her to just change the damn oil. Still not accepting no, she counterd that the manufacturer recommends that the air filter be changed every 12,000 miles and since I have 48,000 miles on the odometer, its time. But, I pointed out, it says right on the paper in your hand that they changed the air filter a mere 3500 miles ago, so no thanks. Clearly irritated, she told me that she was just showing me what the manufacturer recommends and huffed off. I hate that. It is the same at the car wash. Pull in and the order writer pops over, clipboard in hand. You tell them that you just want a regular wash and their off to the races, extolling the benefits of their special Carnuba spray-on wax, undercoating, carpet cleaning, complete detailing and a bunch of other stuff, including their fine list of specials. While all of this takes place, a sleazy guy from some glass company inspects the windshield of your car for cracks or chips so he can hassle you about getting a replacement. Just leave me be and wash the fricking car. In fact, my somewhat tongue-in-cheek remark about recommended services for a brand new car, actually happened to me at a car wash when the lovely Mrs. Sneed's Honda had about 1000 miles on it. I went in for a carwash and the guy started in on me about sealant. You know better sealant than the factory version? I told him it only had 1000 miles on it but that didn't slow him down one bit. No sir, he would have me believe that the Honda people, maker of cars legendary for their quality, use cheap clear coat and it is only at the neighborhood car wash that you get the real deal. The grocery store that I go to always has some item on the checkout counter that the checker has to offer to you before you leave. This last time I was in they tried to sell me a giant candy bar, before that it was disposable cameras. Their bonus item of the week. Bonus for whom? We sometimes go to Boston Market. When you get to the register they ask if would you like dessert? If I wanted dessert I would have ordered it. Try and buy a piece of electronics at one of the chains. When I bought my Ipod, I was offered a case, a wall charger and, of course, the extended warranty. Computers are even worse. HDTV? Need those special cables. Radioshack wants to sell you batteries, McD wants to super-size it, buy a pair of shoes and they want to sell you shoetrees, socks and spray on water repellent. Everybody is on the up-sell. So, effectively immediately, I'm not buying. Give me what I asked for and I'll be a happy guy. It is really a pretty simple concept. Merle. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgemental and cranky Tag: Daily Life Personal Finance Humor