I Swear

Another tip for socially acceptable living brought to you by your old pal Merle. I'm thinking about vulgarity today. We hear so much vulgarity these days that we may not even notice it. As members of the Sneed clan will tell you to a Sneed, Merle Sneed is an expert when it comes to swearing and swearing-related matters. I've been dubbed by some as the Emily bleeping Post of profanity, although I'm not sure that the comparison is entirely deserved. I try to limit my swearing to those situations that require a little extra expression. I don't use vulgarities in normal conversation, but I like a good curse word when it is called for. There has been ongoing disagreement around the Casa Sneed about the situational justification for my cussing, so I try to pick and choose my provocations. That noise you may be able to hear is the guffaws of a crowd of Sneeds. I listen to this Christian financial guy on the radio just for his financial advice, because his religious talk makes my skin crawl. You might subscibe to the notion of a personal god and I have no issue with that, but this fellow gets entirely to folksy about it. If I hear , He gave us a love letter called the Bible, or He's our dad and he's crazy about us, again, I will heave. Anyway, he used the term hard-butt, in the phrase "don't be a hard-butt" on his show. What he means is hard-ass, but he evidently believes that his faith precludes the use of the actual words. Thinking hard-ass okay, saying it not okay. Why would you bother to say "bite my ankle", when you mean bite my ass? The latter has such a poetic quality to it? I think he should just say what he means, or choose an expression devoid of innuendo, rather than having to temper his instinct for some religious proscription. We don't need some half-butt sanitizing the world of vulgarity. Then there are the people who can't compose a sentence without cussing. I work with two guys who can't form a sentence without the F-bomb in it, at least once. I can't play their voice mails on my speakerphone without fear of offending my cubicle neighbors. This is going too far. F***k is not the type-O of the language, it can't be substituted for any other word, despite those who try. You have to mix up your curse words for maximum effect and ease of understanding. If every third word is the F-word, it becomes difficult for the listener to follow the content. They become mesmerized by the steady stream of curses and you sound like an illiterate buffoon. My advice is to use vulgarity judiciously. Often cursing can be very descriptive, such as when one says, "that guy is an f**king idiot." Its so much more descriptive than just, "he's an idiot", which has no punch to it at all. Plain-speaking takes real skill and most of us just aren't willing to develop the vocaulary needed to insult others effectively, while foresaking profanity. So remember, vulgarities are just a part of the language and can add to your reputation as a skilled communicator, if used appropriately. When used indiscriminately they make you sound ignorant and boorish. Merle. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgemental and cranky Tag: Daily Life Personal Finance Humor