The Spit Hits the (spit)Pan

We had a medical crisis here at Casa Sneed today. The lovely Mrs. Sneed discovered a gigantic tumor on her....drumroll...gums today. Okay, so maybe not gigantic and technically, she discovered this about a month ago, but today was the day it reached crisis proportions. Crisis being defined as, "Ah crap, it's getting bigger." The lovely Mrs. Sneed is afraid of the dentist, so she practices do-it-yourself dentistry. Her theory is that if you brush your teeth obsessively, you don't need no stinking dentist. In addition, she thinks that she can handle most routine dental procedures with common household implements. The lovely Mrs. Sneed is also a highly trained medical professional which would make you think that she would be a regular consumer of modern medical care. Nope. Every day parents trust their little ones to her care. She prods and probes them, often with actual probes. This is serious medicine. So what does she do when she has a medical problem? She calls me, the least qualified person in the universe to offer an opinion. Believe me, when you need medical advice, look elsewhere, I'm not your guy. So, I'm sitting in my cubicle this morning when my phone rings. I have a tumor on my gums and it's probably cancer, what do I do? "Well, I think you should get it checked out", says I. Doctor or dentist? "Can Dr. xxx look at it for you?" No! "Okay, then dentist" You call him and get me an appointment for next Tuesday or Wednesday. I called the dentist and he said she needed to come in today. "He can see you today at 11:15 or 3:15." Oh, I hate the dentist....Ah, 3:15 "Want me to come?" Yes We went this afternoon and it turns out to be an abscess, and not cancer. She got an antibiotic and a follow up appointment. The woman had already braced herself for having a section of her jaw removed and a life of wearing the Elephant Man mask. Good thing it wasn't cancer, it is nearly impossible to accessorize that Elephant Man mask. Merle P.S. I don't like to keep boasting about my AdSense account, but through September, I am at $1.44. Woo Hoo! Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it. Tag: Daily Life Personal Finance Humor