Fashion By Sneed

Perhaps you have noticed that I took my net worth chart off my blog. When I started this site as a personal finance blog, it seemed appropriate to have it. Since this has turned into the rants of an old crank, it seems out of place, so its gone. I popped into Kohl's today to update the Merle Sneed official wardrobe. Even though the Sneed suit is a model of efficiency and conenience, while remaining timelessly stylish, it requires occasional tending. The official wardrobe of Merle Sneed is polo shirts in various solid colors, preferably Haggar Cool 18 polos, jeans, Levi Signature, relaxed fit, medium blue, long for winter or short for summer. Flip flops in summer and walking or athletic shoes in winter or for work. A high-fashion marvel. I needed to replace some jeans today which had frayed at the cuff. Kolh's was having a sale and as a bonus, it was 10% off for senior citizens. I can sometimes get the senior discount because, lets face it, I look haggard. In fact, there is a kid at a fast food joint we go to who asks if I mind him giving me the senior discount. Hell no I don't. 10% off is pretty sweet. So I am browsing around and there are a zillion old couples shopping for that swell bargain. Technically, there are a zillion old women shopping, with a zillion old guys shuffling along behind them. Seniors will line up to get anything, even crap they don't want, if it is 10% off. Anyway, I see an old guy and his wife standing a few feet away. She is holding up a shirt and I hear this conversation. Her: You would look nice in this. Him: I don't think I really like that. Her: You always like what I pick out for you. Him: (cricket chirping) I need to make this public. If you ever see an old guy in jeans and a polo shirt and a lovely younger woman is picking out his clothes, please intervene and find out if his name is Merle Sneed. If so, please just shoot me because it will be over. When the lovely Mrs. Sneed begins to pick out my clothes for me, it is time to shut the barn door on old Merle and get out the 30-30. As long as I am at it, should I become any of the palegics, para or quadra, if I need help showering or anything worse, should I forget who I am completely or what decade it is, please just go ahead a pop one behind my ear. There will be no hard feelings. Some people have what it takes to face down this kind of adversity and have productive lives. Me? Not so much, so I'll pass. Clean shot, lights out, no sweat. In fact it may be getting close to time anyway. I got a flu shot today, which means I have gone over the edge, old guy-wise. In addition, at the flu shot clinic, they were doing health screenings for free, so in the finest tradition of the elderly, I said, Free health screening? Heck yeah. This is what we learned. I weigh too much, my pulse is too fast, my blood pressure is high normal and my body mass index is in the somewhat obese range. Hey, I'm big-boned, what can I say? Geez, I used to mock the old people queuing up for the shot and now I am one. What a pisser. Merle. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong and sometimes just full of it. Tag: Daily Life Personal Finance Humor