Mar 2, 2007

Stop! In The Name Of The Law!


Okay I have two questions for you. Have you ever seen someone commit a minor and harmless traffic violation and if so, did you feel the need to hunt that person down and tell them all about it?

I'm guessing that unless you are some kind of sociopath, the answers are "yes, of course I have" and "are you crazy?" We all make errors in driving and we all know that confronting bad drivers is not wise, at least many of us do.

In our fair city the green arrow for left-hand turns occurs after the green light to go straight. Someone in our traffic engineering department figured out that this clears traffic out of intersections more efficiently than the green arrow first method. There is some debate about this, but that's their story and they aren't budging from it.

At about ninety percent of our intersections it is permissible to turn left on the green light, rather than waiting for the arrow, as long as it is safe to do so. At the remaining ten percent of intersections you must wait for the green arrow to make a left. I'm sure there is some solid traffic safety reason for the difference but I don't know what that would be.

I was out in my work truck this morning, visiting a guy who is building a Burger King. Let's face it, what America needs more of is Burger King, so I try to help where I can. When I left the site, I decided that I needed to stop at a convenience store for a drink. This required that I make a left-hand turn at one of the lights where a left can only be made on the green arrow. When I got into the left turn lane the green arrow was on, but it changed as I reached it, forcing me to stop and wait for another green arrow.

As I waited for the arrow, I began to fool with some papers and my cell phone and other distracting stuff. At some point I glanced up, saw the green light amd out of a force of habit, I started to turn left. I immediately realized that I was supposed to be waiting for the arrow. I stopped for an instant and then decided I had no choice but to get out of the middle of the intersection. I finished the turn and drove to the store. No harm done, but clearly an illegal turn.

Luckily for me, Johnny Law, the Man, the Copper, Flatfoot, the Long Arm was nowhere around and I figured I was off scot-free. Little did I know that Joe Schmoe, of the Citizens Auxillary Police was on the job and had me on his radar.

I got out of my truck at the store, visions of a cold delicious Diet Coke dancing in my head, when the large brown truck pulled up next to me. The driver put down his window and said, "Hey you will save yourself a lot of trouble and a ticket if you obey the signals." Or something to that effect.

I just have one question. What kind of jackass follows someone and gives him grief because he broke a minor traffic rule that, (a) Didn't harm anyone, and (B) didn't affect said jackass in any way?

My visceral reaction to tell this guy to bite me but sensing that this was a fellow itching for a fight, I choose to be self-deprecating. I told him I must have had my head up my butt. Then I gave a hearty laugh. He agreed with my admission, we both laughed and off he went, disarmed by the famous Sneed charm, but still left with the satisfaction of having set me straight.

I think that in this day and age people would be wary of picking a fight with a stranger. Maybe since I am old and I was driving a company truck, he felt secure in confronting me over something that was none of his damn business.

You know I have enough trouble in my life without some Barney Fife wannabe bothering me. I hope I never turn into a self-important buttinski. You would tell me if I did, wouldn't you?

Merle.





Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgemental and cranky


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2 comments:

Bobby D. said...

I have fallen victim to the Sneed charm more than once.

Kurt said...

Where I live, you would be killed for doing what he did.