The Secret's Out

My musing about therapy yesterday got me to thinking about how I could fix what ails my psyche, without spending too much dough and without a lot of messy confessions.

I sat and thought and thought and sat and then a voice said to me, "The Secret is the secret."

"Ah", I thought, "The Secret, of course. Thanks voices in my head."

Perhaps you've heard of The Secret. Oprah, Larry King and Ellen are all on board with The Secret, and it's time I jumped into the pool of possibility too. I made up the pool of possibility, damn snappy, even if I do say so myself.

I have been doing some in-depth research on The Secret and this is what I have found out.

I can have money and stuff, lots of stuff. And I don't have to work at a crappy job to pay for it, or even pay for it at all. It is just going to shoot right out of the universe's butt, as I understand it. I know this is true because the internet is crawling with people getting lots of stuff, who will help me get lots of stuff too. All for only $29, plus tax and shipping and handling, if I act NOW!

And these are not just any people who are willing, even anxious, to help me. No Siree. We are talking about people like Bob Doyle, Steve Pavlina and even the lovely Jeanette Maw. Universal Law of Attaction pioneering minds, each and every one.

Well I'm not ready to plunk down $29 bucks just yet. I am a skeptical fellow who wasn't born yesterday. So, I am trying to find out as much as I can for free first. This is what I know so far.

The Secret uses a SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN law called the Universal Law of Attraction, which says, that you get what you seek the most. good stuff or even bad sh*t you didn't want, if were so afraid that you would get it, that you just got it.

Now, I don't recall asking to be old, cranky and fat, but I must have. After all, who am I to argue with a genuine SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN law? Especially one dealing with the bewildering field of quantum mechanics.


Little Known Factoid: Your best quantum theorists are found in new age bookstores and not in the halls of major universities. Many people get that one wrong.

Little Known Factoid II: Our fair state is home to the center of all that is harmonic and convergent, Sedona, AZ, or as blog intern Stuie Knox calls it, "that cesspool of vibrating crappola.

I think one person put it best when he or she said, "like attracts like." That may not technically be true since it seems to me that the universe would fly apart if there were no opposites attracting one another. Again though, who am I to argue with the Universal Law of Attraction? It is after all a law and it's universal. Plus it fits nicely on the official Universal Law of Attraction commemorative coffee mug, available online for $19.95 + s&h.

It seems that by using the Universal Law of Attraction I can make my wildest dreams come true. Pretty sweet. Of course I have to know how to manifest these things correctly and not make mistakes in applying the Universal Law of Attration such as, "never really vibrating in a place of trust that what you desire is yours." If I had a dime for every time I've made that mistake!

Plus get this. A bunch of famous dead people have used The Secret to become rich and famous. And not just any rich and famous dead people, but dead people like Leonardo and Einstein. How can you argue with a bunch of rich and successful dead people? Wait a minute, how can you argue with a bunch of rich and famous dead people? Hmm, I may have to email John Edwards or Sylvia Browne for dead person testimonials.

This evening I am awaiting the arrival of Miss Angelina Jolie and several large pizzas at Casa Sneed. I am hitting the ground running on this manifesting business. I just hope she leaves the kids home with Brad, and they throw in complimentary breadsticks.

So that's The Secret in a nutshell. If you want further information on this transformation life skill, send $29 to my PayPal account today. And if you act in the next 30 minutes I will throw in my E-book, "Seven Proven Techniques to Become Taller." Hurry, I can't keep this low price forever.

Merle "The Manifesting Machine" Sneed






Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky


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