Completely Satisfactory, Pretty Sweet

Well, NoFlowers.com has fulfilled one half of my flower order. The lovely Mrs. Sneed's roses arrived today. So, better late than never I guess.

I sent an email yesterday to the customer service department at NoFlowers.com explaining my experience of their service this Valentine's Day. I'm sure they use this type of feedback to fine tune their processes. Either that or as joke material for intraoffice emails. I wondered, in my email, why no once called or emailed to tell me that they weren't fulfilling my order as promised. The following is their reply, word for word.

Our apologies regarding your orders that were placed. Its unfortunate we could not make the delivery for your holiday order. Let us know if you have any other concerns regarding your refund or replacement orders.

That may be the worst customer service response I have ever read. "Screw you", would have taken fewer words.

I had occasion today to attend a meeting with some fellows from the government of the United States of America. I cannot disclose many of the details, but suffice to say it was the tightest security I have ever seen. We were left standing outside the place for 45 minutes while our credentials were checked, our company issued vehicle, complete with giant logo on each side, was searched inch by agonizing inch by large young men with very big handguns strapped to their belts. Finally, I was made to drive the truck through a big building-sized scanner thingy, before I was issued a clearance card that I had to exchange with another guard at a gate before I was allowed to drive in.

The meeting, like most of the meetings that I am compelled to attend, was not that useful. It was a pre-pre-pre-preliminary meeeting for a project that may start in 2008, if everything goes smoothly. I doubt that it will, it is after all a government job.

What this activity did allow me to do was to exchange some ideas about personal finance with the young guy I had to drag along with me. This lad fancies himself to be a financial sophisticate. You be the judge.

He told me that he has a six-year, 1.9% car loan, so that the payments would be really small. He bragged that he pays almost no interest. I am guessing after he pays for six years on this car, the car will need replacing, and that he will have to start over again, but who knows?

He also advisd me to open a home equity line of credit (HELOC) against my house so that I would have access to some emergency cash if needed. I asked him what happens if a person loses his job after he gets the HELOC. He says that he would borrow against the HELOC to make his house payments. Let's see, borrow against the house to make the house payments. I prefer to have my emergency cash in the form actual cash, the kind you save from your pay and keep for yourself, but again, maybe I'm missing something.

Another of his ideas is to buy stuff on no-interest, no-payments for say 12 months and then only make the minimum payments until the end, when you pay off the big balance. In the mean time, you stash the excess in a bank account until you need it. Did he realize that 80% of the time people don't payoff no-interest, no-payments within the prescribed time? Yes he did, but this doesn't apply to him, he says. Maybe he's right, afterall there is a 20% chance he is.

He had other ideas about adjustable mortgages and refinancing, but I had lost interrest by then.

It seems to me that too many folks are trying to get rich easy and quick. Getting to be rich is smple, but it is not easy. It takes some sacrifice over a long period of time. My young friend is not mature enough yet to realize it.

On the Randall "Bada" Bing front, he finally realized that the performance evaluations wouldn't be done in time to meet today's deadline and he decided to just tell us what our bonuses would be, sans the evaluations. He crossed me up by giving me my whole bonus and then telling me that he considered me "completely satisfactory". Wow, I wish my folks were here to share this moment with me.

I remember overhearing my dad say to my mom, "That boy isn't going to amount to a pile of crap." Mom, always partial to her little Merle, replied, "Oh, he will fit in somewhere and get by. He's a survivor."

Well, by golly, she was right. I fit in, I fit right in! The evaluation session tomorrow is going to be fun.

Merle.



Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgemental and cranky


Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor