This year was my first at seriously growing roses. It has been a learning experience. I suspect that I didn't provide enough water or fertilizer for the bushes because they mostly seemed to struggle in the heat of summer. This potted rose tree was an exception. It continues to bloom spectacular orange roses. The lovely Mrs. Sneed and I went downtown to see Cirque du Soleil-Saltimbanco. We had a really good time. I love a traditional circus, sans lions and tigers and bears. The performers were amazing in their skill. Mrs. Sneed especially liked a bicycle performer, who entertained us with his ability to make his bike one with himself. I enjoyed all of the performers, and I was particularly impressed by a young juggler. At one point he juggled seven balls. A little known fact is that Merle Sneed used to juggle, although the high point of my juggling career was the ability to juggle three quart bottles of Pepsi. I could juggle four balls once upon a time, but seven is incomprehensible to me. In order to juggle seven, five have to be in the air at all times. That takes unbelievable hand eye coordination and years of practice. We also celebrated Younger Son Sneed's 32nd birthday this evening. Daughter Sneed and her family joined us. Oldest brother and family were not able to make it because of the demands of a new baby. Even though we were only six, rather than ten, but we ate like a family of ten. It was the only fair thing to do. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

We went to Daughter Sneed's house for Thanksgiving. We released 13 green balloon for Christian. Daughter Sneed is releasing one in the picture. It was a torrential downpour, so we had to lean over the rail and duck back quickly. Despite the rain, they quickly rose and drifted to the south. Daughter Sneed has a case of the "Martha Stewart's" and always goes all out for the holidays. Like most places, the day after Thanksgiving was shopping mayhem in Hooterville. Mrs. Sneed and I stayed out way too late Thanksgiving night and when we headed home after midnight, the lunatics were sitting outside Circuit City in the rain. The local newscast said that some lined up at Best Buy on Wednesday. They could be offering handshakes with the maker of heaven and earth and I wouldn't wait all night in the rain to get one, much less wait for a computer or a TV. Idiots. On a personal note, we had an opportunity to get a little bonus if our store exceeded a weekend sales total set by the owners. The old 'Snowball's Chance in Hell', bonus. Hell is winning. In the hardware store, the Friday shopping crowd was less than hoped for. We did two average day's business yesterday, but unfortunately one of them was today's sales. Business in the store was abysmal today, at least when I left at noon. I suspect that any bump in retail sales that happened yesterday, will be tempered by a worse than average shopping season. And Kip and Wendy of the nightly news won't let us forget it. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

In the interest of being fair and balanced, this latest addition to Noah's family. These are Anabelle and Cash, who were adopted through the local county animal shelter. The kittens were sick yesterday and had to be taken to the kitty emergency room. They are on a medication to clear up a respiratory infection, but they are home and on the mend. Noah stayed at our house last night so that his mom could begin cooking the Thanksgiving dinner without the help of a five year old. This morning, we walked to the local Starbucks (why is Starbuck's open on Thanksgiving?), and had a cup of joe. More precisely, a cup of joe and a vanilla bean drink of some kind. My accidental friend Jim was there and we had a nice chat. Poor Jim has anger issues, which is why I give him a wide berth. He regaled me with his latest fallings out. Poor Jim is a lonely and sad old man. He said he is going to have dinner with a friend today, which is good. We had rain over night and that made for cool and cloudy weather this morning. Our walk was pleasant, except for the guy who kept trying to jump in puddles and splash another guy. We are heading to Daughter Sneed's later today for a big old feast. Thanksgiving is a bittersweet day for us all. Our beloved Christian was born on Thanksgiving in 1995 and even though he has been gone six years now, our hearts still hurt and we miss him so. We will be having a celebration of his too short life before we have dinner. Noah brings some relief to the tension of our inclination to not talk Christian or the accident. He is unabashed in his questions about the brother he never knew. He wants to wear his clothes and play with his toys. Like Noah, I lost a sibling before I was born. My sister Cathy died in the late 1940s and my mom chose to keep her a secret from us. We had tons of pictures of her carefully hidden away somewhere and it wasn't until I was a teen that I found out about her. I understand my mom's inclination toward secrecy, but it was the wrong way to handle Cathy's death. The Sneeds have had more than our share of heartbreak, but we have more than our share joys, too. All in all, I think we lead life by a few runs. So Happy Thanksgiving to one and all! Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

It's The Cheapest Person Who Spends The Most

One of the constant sources of amazement to me in the hardware store, is the number of people willing to spend a dollar to save a dime. I have a wealthy elderly customer who drives a car like this. She is about 85, give or take a decade. In case you wondered, this Mercedes two-seat convertible goes for around $50K. And also in case you wondered, owning a new Mercedes is not for the faint of heart or the light of wallet. Owning a luxury car is like living with a sick relative. It's always something...something that costs big bucks. Anyway, my customer came in last week with an ancient and quite broken leaf blower. She asked if I might be able to fix it? My assessment was that the on/off switch was broken. She wanted to know how much it would cost to fix. Since I don't have the parts to do it, I called a repair shop and got a quote of $70-$80. A new leaf blower costs $70. She refused to get the new one. She said that she would have her handyman look at it. Today she came back, with the broken switch that her handyman had removed. I told her that we didn't have the switch in the store and she asked me to call the repair shop again, to see if they had it in stock. I did. The parts costs $35. She had me write down the address so that she could go pick it up. A ten mile round trip. By the time she is done, she will have spent $35 plus tax, plus whatever she pays the handyman, not to mention the cost and time involved with making two trips to see me and another to go to the repair shop. All to avoid spending $70. Weird. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

Not to belabor this new baby thing, but you have to admit that these are a couple of good-looking gals. This run up to Thanksgiving is starting to be a pain in the butt, work-wise. I had to work noon to six on Monday, my normal day off and tomorrow night I have to stay until seven. The store closes at six, but we have to make sure all the special deals are out on the floor for the big Friday sale. I have to work Friday, which is inhumane if you ask me. At least I don't work until noon and by then the crazed mobs will have picked us clean and the store will be relatively quiet. According to those who know, there will be fifty people waiting outside when the doors open at seven. Who stakes out a hardware store? Just before closing tonight, I was making a key for a young guy, when the manager came over and joined us. I sensed something bad was happening. Manager: Is that all sir? Guy: Yes Manager: You can pay for the key and the stuff you put in you pockets at the front register. Guy: Uh.....no problem. That was uncomfortable. And the guy from the window place came and replaced my truck window today. I was telling him how it happened and he said he sees it all the time. Sad. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

Damn Newton

...an object in motion tends to stay in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.--From Newton's First Law of Motion. This is another public service announcement from the Merle Wayne Sneed Guide to Better Living. When moving a piece of furniture, always tie it down so that it cannot slide forward and smash out your window. Mrs. Sneed asked me to take something to the Goodwill today and it didn't occur to me to tie the stupid thing down. When I pulled up in front of the Goodwill Store and braked slowly to a stop, my cargo didn't stop. Since the combination of the friction exerted by the truck bed and the force of gravity were insufficient over come the momentum of the item in the bed of the truck, it remained in motion in a straight line, which intersected with the back of the truck cab. Normally I am reasonably bright guy, but from time to time I do things that are spectacular in their stupidity. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

As much of the nation shivers, some people wonder how the weather is in the desert. Right now its perfect. It's so cool that the roses have forgotten the brutal heat of summer. It's so warm that even the cowboys can still wear shorts. Yesterday, any Sneed who is anybody sojourned way out east of town to see our little angel. No one can love you like your mom. And no one is prouder of you than your dad. No one will spoil you more than your grandma. Except for maybe your grandfather. Or an aunt, or your uncle, who might be your biggest fan. Unfortunately, not every one was impressed. One guy got two kittens and claims that kittens are way cooler than a baby sister. He may be wrong on that one. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

Riley Addison

This is little Riley Addison, who was born at 1:40 this afternoon. She weighed in at a bit over 18 pounds and is 30 inches long. Her mom is a real trooper. Okay, she weighs 6 pounds, nine ounces and is the usual height, 20 inches or so. Mom and baby are doing well. Big brother Aiden is very excited to have a sister, as are we to have a new granddaughter. She doesn't know it yet, but she hit the lotto grandfather-wise. I don't know why I attract more than the usual amount of grief from idiots, but I do. Take for example the young woman that I waited on right before closing today. She was in the electrical aisle looking for outlet covers. She couldn't find them because I had carefully hidden them in plain sight, right in front of her. I pointed them out to her and maybe that is where I made "her list". Then, I made a huge mistake, I called her ma'am. I said, "Thanks for your business, ma'am." She said, "It's not ma'am, it's miss, how old do you think I am?" and not in a friendly sort of way. The reply that jumped to the front of my brain was, "I'm trying to figure out whether you age is higher than your IQ." What I said was, "Sorry." Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

Shadows and Lights

This is a picture of the truck that picked up our recycling this morning. My blog friend Steve has decided to retire his excellent blog, Shadows and Lights. I'll miss your posts, friend. The big news around the Sneed family is the impending birth of our granddaughter. She is the daughter of our oldest Son and his wife. Little Aiden is about to become a big brother. The baby, whose name may or may not be Riley, is going to be born tomorrow sometime. Riley is the name leader in the clubhouse, but is subject to getting bumped out at the last minute. I was getting my teeth cleaned this morning and chatting with the hygienist. Okay, she was chatting and I was saying somethings that sounded like, "Gnuffinghtimoghtp", since she had one hand and several dental appliances stuffed into my mouth. The hygienist is a Vietnamese immigrant who has lived in this country for sixteen years. She came to America in her twenties because she had family living here and wanted the freedoms America has to offer. I was thinking that her story is not that much different than that of the Sneeds, who came to this country in the 1600s from Holland. It's odd that some people who are 5th or 10th or 20th generation Americans forget that in the beginning their ancestors were also newly-arrived immigrants. Here in the desert Southwest, when you point out that we are all immigrants, differentiated only by duration, people will tell you that their ancestors came here legally, unlike the Central and South Americans who make up the bulk of the illegal immigrants. Immigration has almost always brought the poor, powerless and desperate. They are the people who will do anything to get a foot in the door. For the most part, they work hard at menial jobs and keep to themselves. They toil in anonymity. ..."Keep ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!" --excerpt from The New Colossus by Emma Lazarus There is nothing new under the sun. We forget that. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

IF General Motors, Ford and Chrysler get the bailout that their chief executives asked for yesterday, you can kiss the American automotive industry goodbye. It won’t go overnight, but its demise will be virtually guaranteed. Without that bailout, Detroit will need to drastically restructure itself. With it, the automakers will stay the course — the suicidal course of declining market shares, insurmountable labor and retiree burdens, technology atrophy, product inferiority and never-ending job losses. Detroit needs a turnaround, not a check.--Mitt Romney in The New York Times, 11/19/2008 I couldn't have said it better myself. As long as we are all going broke, we might as well fix this mess once and for all. Of course the Democrats are a wholly-owned subsidiary of the AFL-CIO, so standby for more of the same old, same old in Detroit. Other matters. I'm glad that I am not the only one who hates cell phones. I suspected I wasn't. My rant yesterday seemed to hit a nerve. This morning at Starbucks I waited behind a dunce who wouldn't stop talking on her phone long enough to transact her business. It took quite a bit longer than I think it should have. When it got to my place in ine, I asked the cashier if I was required to be talking on the cell phone to place an order. All I got in response was, "Huh?" I guess they're used to it. I was reading today that cell phone blockers are becoming a huge issue in Canada. The Mounties are all up in arms about the catastrophic possibilities of jammers in the wrong hands. I say good for whoever has the wherewithal to acquire and use a jammer, even though the Merle Wayne Sneed blogs reminds readers that it is illegal to buy or use a jammer. Merle Wayne Sneed would not personally use a jammer or encourage others to do so, but he might yell, "Nice going", at the perp walk of someone who did. Lastly, I see that the California Supreme Court has agreed to hear three lawsuits aimed at overturning California's Prop. 8. I can hear the hue and cry coming from Prop. 8 supports now. "Those damned judicial activist judges are overturning the will of the people again!!!!" (Three exclamation marks cause they're bound to be really pissed off). Allow me to offer a reply, "Too bad. You don't get to codify bigotry simply because a majority of voters think its a good idea." Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

Any way you slice it, cell phones are a pain in my ass. If it's not some ninny sharing the intimate details of his or her life with me against my will, it's some customer in the store trying to play hardware charades with me, because he or she won't hang up long enough to actually tell me what they want. The latest woe of me involves the cell phone companies, or as I like to think of them, the scum of the Earth. There was a time when owning a cell phone was the big deal. Anyone who needed to, could reach you practically anywhere. And of course, they did. The evil cell phone empires used this technology to send powerful rays through the network, which has rendered a sizable portion of the population nearly brain dead and left to wander the streets, cell phone pressed to their ear. Many of us are completely in the grips of Verizon, AT&T, Alltel or the other one...T-Mobile. Just as radio lead the way to television, the cell phone is morphing into the all purpose personal communicator. Email, text, internet and movies all in the palm of your hand. Can a built-in taser be far behind? Merle Wayne Sneed doe not need a cell phone, but I have one. Mrs. Sneed and I have a family plan, where we share 500 minutes per month. That's about 350 minutes more a month than we need. What I have to say on the cell phone involves few words to a few people. I value my friends, the few that I have, precisely because they understand that I have little to say to them that can't wait until the next time I see them. Blabbing on the phone is not for me. Internet, email, texting, movies, music on my phone, no thanks, that's why I have a home. Which brings me to my current problem. Our present cell phone company is Qwest Communications. Qwest doesn't actually operate a cell phone company, they resell Sprint service, or at least they did. Now they have decided to sell Verizon service instead. This is a big pain because they want us to change our service to Verizon, which would be fine, except the new Verizon service is not the 500 minutes for $59.95 per month that we have been paying. It is now $69.95 for 700 minutes a month. Instead of not using 350 minutes a month, we will not be using 550 minute a month and paying ten bucks more for the privilege. Some might suggest just shopping around and finding a better deal. They have planned against this. It seems that I can either switch to Verizon at a higher cost or I can pay Qwest $400 bucks to break our contract. That is until Qwest kicks us out for ignoring them. One day next spring, Qwest will turn off the Sprint system and violate our agreement with them. Then and only then are we free to find a better deal. What a pain in the butt. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

Noah thinks the new president's name is A-Rock A-Bahma. He got a hold of the Newsweek with Obama on the cover and came racing in to ask if I knew who was on the cover? "A-rock A-Bahma", he's the president!" I watched President-elect Obama on 60 Minutes last night and I was favorably impressed. I especially liked it when Michelle Obama called him on some of the things he said. It made them seem like the real deal, and not some phonies posturing for the media. At one point the President-elect said that doing the dishes was soothing for him. Michelle asked him when doing the dishes was ever soothing for him? He stammered like the rest of us when we are caught by our spouses trying to peddle a line of BS. He said, while trying to explain how much his old routines, that he missed being able to take a simple walk. He said the he wanted to take Michelle for a walk and she said she wasn't going. Real life stuff. Unfortunately, there really is an underlying tone of racism in this country, despite the election of Obama. I actually heard someone use the n-word in a sentence today. I was shocked, but the speaker seemed completely at ease saying it. I'm always conflicted as to whether or not to say something at these times to indicate my disapproval. Some joker at bowling tonight was making a joke about the Obamas trashing up the White House. I did take that guy to task, but he just blew me off gave no mind whatever to my attempt at challenging him. Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening Whose woods these are I think I know. His house is in the village though; He will not see me stopping here To watch his woods fill up with snow. My little horse must think it queer To stop without a farmhouse near Between the woods and frozen lake The darkest evening of the year. He gives his harness bells a shake To ask if there is some mistake. The only other sound's the sweep Of easy wind and downy flake. The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep. --Robert Frost I think Frost is saying that as much as we are tempted to stop and rest, the job is never quite done and obligation always calls. Obama's election might have closed the racial chasm in America a bit, but much is left undone. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

President-elect Obama and Congressional Democrats attempt to put out a fire. Not to worry, the missing lye bottles have turned up...empty. It seems that the evil meth scientists have found that they can pour the contents of the bottles into something else, perhaps their pockets, and simply stroll out of the store. How do a bunch of brain dead stoners come up with this stuff? By the way, the hardware store had a 20% off promotion today. Most things in stock were 20% off. We may be in a recession, depression, compression or obsession, but you couldn't tell it today. We were flooded with customers and did about three days worth of business in one day. This may hurt future sales, because the regulars stocked up today, but for a least one day, it was the good old days. And speaking of recession, I have been thinking about this latest mess involving the auto manufacturers. You know, the mess where we give them $50 billion bucks to continue to build over-priced cars, that no one wants to buy? What do you call the government propping up obsolescence and inferior quality? The old Soviet Union. A lot of smart people are warning that should GM, Ford and/or Chrysler go broke, all hell will break loose, sending everyone left in the US who has a job, to the bread lines. Unfortunately, that may not that far off. A lot of folks depend on the auto industry for their livelihood, but the answer lies not in doing more of the same. Merle Wayne Sneed has decided to throw his considerable influence against giving GM, Ford and Chrysler any federal money. I think an investment in the past is a really bad idea. Take $50b and give it to people with actual innovative ideas and a firmer grasp on the financial realities of the average American. The auto companies have become nothing more than giant health care providers with a few obsolete cars out front. The profitability issues of the US car makers can be traced to the high cost of the wages and benefits they pay. For many years the Big Three have forced large trucks and SUVs on us because those are the vehicles that are profitable. They cannot sell small efficient cars because their overhead won't allow it. Trust me when I tell you that a Chevy Tahoe retailing at $40,000 doesn't cost twice as much to build as an Impala selling for $20,000. It is just that there isn't much profit in the Impala, so they have to make it up on the Tahoe. GM has about two and one half retirees for every active worker. Those retirees are enjoying free health care for themselves and their spouses for life. Any part of a government bailout should require that active and retired autoworkers pick up at least a modest part of their monthly premium and screw the labor contracts. Don't tell me that you worked for it, that's crap. The average hourly labor cost among the former Big Three is $75 per hour. That's wages and benefits. The Toyota, Honda and Nissan costs are a third lower. GM and its fellows, Ford, Chrysler and the UAW will moan all day long that the Japanese makers have a structural advantage because of the nationalized health care system they employ. That is a load of crappola. The Japanese may have a different health care system, but the average employee of a Japanese automaker pays more for health care than the average UAW member. The Dead Three are complaining because they got strong armed by their unions into picking up more of the costs. The average family in the US has a $1000 per month out-of-pocket cost for health care, including insurance premiums. Fair is fair, folks. GM, Ford and Chrysler can give anyone anything they like, except when it is on my dime. They remain free to go broke through their generosity. In a bit of irony, Bush and the Repubs are against the loans, while Mr. Obama and the Dems favor propping up the dying giants. Where is the change we voted for? It's time to do something different. Painful in the short term, but good for us in the long run. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

Drama

What is drama but life with the dull bits cut out.--Alfred Hitchcock I may have mentioned that my hardware store is in a lower middle income area. In fact, a lot of the area is below lower middle class. The sights and sounds of the store are a reminder that the other half lives a life far different from mine. Actually, the other half is misleading. Life is really two extremes, the rich and the poor, with about eighty percent of us caught somewhere in the middle. My statistics may be slightly off since I made them up. You get the idea though. Most of us go through life with about the normal amount of ups and downs. These other two groups cause a lot of problems for themselves and for us. It is the old axiom that twenty percent of any group cause about eighty percent of the results. A case in point. A young guy comes into the hardware store today carrying a large, very broken window. Right behind him is a middle-aged woman carrying a large quite broken window screen. It was clear from their appearance and demeanor that they were accustom to a lot of drama. We had a conversation that went like this. Me: Broken window, eh? Guy: My goddamn girlfriend jumped through it. Me: Wha....? Guy: She ran right into my kid's room and jumped right through the window. Me: Sounds like you need a new girlfriend. Guy: Bitch is in jail. Me: Really? Guy: I called the cops on her. Me: Oh. Older Woman who turned out to be his mom: Are you gonna fix this or not? Me: Gotta ask the boss. (go to check) Me: Okay, it will be $40. Guy: Don't care, she (girlfriend) has to pay for it. Me: I'll call you. Now, when was the last time a loved one of yours jumped through a window? See what I mean? A couple of days ago, I posted about thieves in the store. I got another lesson today. A guy stopped me and asked if I had any lye. We sell lye as a drain cleaner. I took him to where we keep it and to my surprise the shelf was empty. I did locate one bottle hidden in the back of the shelf. When I gave it to the guy, he said that he needed more. I went to a computer and check our stock. We should have had 12 bottles on the shelf, not one, so I asked my buddy Bill if he knew where the missing 11 bottle were. "Sure", he replied, "they have been stolen by the meth-heads. They use them to make meth. If your guy is asking for more than a bottle, he's a druggie too." I went back to where I had left the guy, but he was gone. I asked the cashier if a guy and just bought a bottle of lye. "Nope". Go figure. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad. That's my religion.--A. Lincoln I believe Lincoln had it just about right. Longtime readers know that Merle Wayne Sneed rejects the notion of a personal god. We live for a bit and then we return to the cosmic soup. Beyond that, I neither know nor care to know. If a supreme being exists, I am confident it cares nothing about me. Obedience to a power unseen makes us do some awful things. For sure, it makes us do some really good things too, but I suspect that with or without our belief in the supernatural, we would behave in about the same way. It is in our nature. We live cooperatively because it is to our evolutionary advantage. Unbridled mayhem and murder would soon lead to our extinction, as would a simple disregard for the welfare of our fellow human. We rely on one another because he have to, our genes demand it. Our nearest relatives, the great apes, behave socially in much the same way we do, and when I last checked they had not organized into religious sects. So it must be more fundamental than that. Going back to Lincoln's thought, at the core of the world's great religions is the idea that treating others as you would like to be treated is the fundamental principle. That seems to me, the only rule religion needs. If you wouldn't like to be judged, don't judge. If you enjoy being married don't deny that right to others. If you wouldn't like your family torn apart by a bomb, don't bomb others. Pretty simple stuff. You'd think anyway. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

Thieves

He that steals an egg, will steal an ox.--George Herbert (although it may be in Proverbs) If you have a sink, you have one of these, a strainer basket. When I got to work this morning, the first customer that I waited on was a woman looking to buy a strainer basket, because the one she had was broken. The little plunger doohickey on hers was kaput. I got her a new one and that started a discussion about whether or not it was the same size as the one she brought in. I tried my best to reassure her that 99% of the kitchen sinks in America have the same size drain hole, including hers. She was having none of it, so she asked me to take it out of the package to show her. I noticed that the package had been cut down the side with a knife and when I took out the new strainer, I discovered that, rather than being new, it was someone's old broken basket. Either someone returned a broken old strainer basket to the store, or they swapped it on the shelf. Either way, the one that should have been in the package was stolen. Someone got away with a $4.99 item. Hardly a day goes by that I don't find an empty package or two stuffed in the back of a display. Brass plumbing parts have become expensive and we lose lots of those to people's pockets. They must look in the bins and see that we have plenty and figure no one will miss one. I even found a burned out light bulb in a package with three new ones. Someone brought it in and just swapped it for a good one and walked back out. This used to surprise me. Who steals from a hardware store, especially one where we have personal contact with every customer and we actually know about half of them by name? After a month on the job, I stopped being surprised. If you have something, anything, there is someone willing to steal it. I'm guessing that it is not usually about needing something that you don't have the money to buy. I wonder if its true that a person who would steal a small thing, would also steal a big thing? I think no. I think most people who steal small stuff are too afraid to steal something big. They might be inclined, but fear holds them back. Our thieves come in all sizes and shapes. Sometimes they are the person you would not suspect. Mostly, they're not the person you would suspect, I'm guessing. The meth addicts steal our stuff and try to return it for cash. That never works out for them. Some people must think that the store won't miss a small item or justify their theft by telling themselves that they spend plenty in the store, so they're owed. Maybe some people get a thrill from stealing small stuff. Nothing in our store is that valuable, but lots of things are small and easy to steal, so people do. It's a sad commentary on where we have arrived. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

“Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.”--P. J. O'Rourke If your housekey looks like this, you are in good company. This is the Kwikset KW1 blank, arguably the most common key blank in use for house locks. I should know because I make about a hundred of these suckers everyday. I don't have a magic box like they do at Lowes or Home Depot, where you just put in a key and get a copy. We use an old-fashioned key machine. Sometimes the keys Lowe's and Home Depot keys actually work, but many don't, based on what my customers tell me when they come in for a working copy. A lock's tumbler is an elegantly simple, but extremely precise device. A mistake of a fraction of an inch can keep a copy from working. Most people understand this, but some don't. I personally never need a key made, but lots of people do, which is good for the hardware store. A key blank cost about 15 cents when bought in bulk and most places sell cut keys for a buck fifty or so. There is money in keys, if you have volume. We have a ton of rentals around our store so lots of landlords and tenants are in need of a new key. Especially around the first of the month, when tenants run off with the keys and landlords have to get new copies. I hear every imaginable reason for people to need keys. Some folks just plain lose them, sometimes they wear out. New boyfriends or girlfriends require a new copy. Lots of adult children come in to get copies of their elderly parents keys. We get a lot of keys, especially car keys, that have been broken in half. Sometimes we can make a working copy, but not always. We get keys that are so worn that they are metal wafers. These are hard to copy. I made ten sets of keys for a guy who was giving them out to his nine partners in a time-share in Mexico. I hope he took them to Mexico and tried them before he handed them out. I would hope that no one went to Mexico only to find that their key didn't work correctly. I re-keyed eight locks a few weeks ago for a guy who's estranged wife sneaked into his house and stole all his keys, leaving him locked out. One of my favorite stories is about a guy who came in to make a set of car keys. It seems that his son was moving his family from Denver to Hooterville and the car keys were accidentally packed in a box tha the movers took. He was going to FedEX them a set from his spares. I told him that any locksmith in Denver could fix the problem in an hour, but he was set on a plan and there was no talking him out of it. Many people in the store don't like to make keys, but I find it interesting. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

A billion here and a billion there, and soon you're talking about real money.--Everett Dirksen It seems like every day brings another dose of crappy economic news and I'm sick of it. AIG needs $150 billion, the Big Three automakers want $50 million, the banks need $700 billion, and it just goes on and on. If the government had any actual money, it would be one thing, but they don't. They just keep borrowing more and more from people overseas. One final note. Last week our state voted to restrict marriage to a mana and a woman only. Approximately 56% of the citizens of Arizona voted that way. I fully expected that Hooterville would vote against the measure and that Phoenix, a bastion of ultra right-wingers, would be what carried the day for the forces of ignorance. This morning our local paper printed a map showing the Hooterville votes by precinct. As it turns out, the liberal neighborhoods surrounding the University and the affluent foothill areas went strongly for the measure. The middle-class and lower middle-class areas of town turn out against the ban. Go figure. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

This project was not supposed to have an official photographer, but one showed up anyway. Here I am, arm deep in mud, while my helper Noah, documents the whole mess. When our house was being built in 1995, our contractor employed a joker named Kenny to do the landscaping. We subsequently paid Kenny to do a lot of additional irrigation work, which he did to minimal standards, as things turned out. My chief complaint about Kenny's work was that he was too lazy to bury his pipes deep enough and as a result they have been nicked and cut all over the place. Some failures are to be expected after 13 years, but I wish the big one hadn't been directly under the driveway, where it is completely inaccessible. In order to restore the irrigation line to the plants in the front, I have had to find an existing water line in front and cut it so that I can install a valve and a tee. The tee will allow me to reroute water to the front irrigation line. The cut off pipe at the top will get reconnected tomorrow. It serves a spigot on the south side of the house. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

Banks, Who Needs 'em?

That is until the banks figure a way to charge a fee. My blog friend Terri had an incident trying to cash a US Postal Service money order that she received. Her bank wouldn't take it. You have to ask yourself, if they won't take a money order from the US government, who's will they take? The answer is either no one's or someone who pays them to do so. This is why I don't deal with banks. Even if you are their customer, they treat you like crap, unless you are paying them a fee. I'm reminded of a vacation we took with the two younger Sneed sons, back in the early nineties. We left D.C. driving to Rhode Island to visit Mrs. Sneed's aunt and uncle. Somewhere in Maryland we stopped for lunch and I found that all I had by way of payment was a one hundred dollar American Express Traveler's Check. Even in 1991 or 1992, many restaurants didn't accept credit cards and I thought, probably because I am a hick, that they wouldn't take a one hundred dollar traveler's check either. Luckily, there was a bank next door. If fgured worst case I would have to pay a fee to cash the check. I went into the bank and was promptly informed that they didn't take traveler's check, except for the ones they issue. Think about that for a minute. I asked why anyone would buy a traveler's check from them and then try to cash it at their bank? Isn't (wasn't) the purpose of a traveler's check to use for travel? Karl Malden certainly thought so, and how can you argue with Karl Malden? If everyone had their attitude many people would be forced to stay home. Why would they expect other places to honor their checks if they wouldn't do the same? All really good questions to my point of view. The manager told me that our business was complete. Luckily, the restaurant had no problem with American Express and it turned out fine. This is what the bastards do, though. They charge out the wazoo for everything and when you need them most, they let you down. Merle Wayne Sneed deals with a credit union. I like the fact that when I show up, the lady at the reception desk knows who I am. I have free bill pay, free ATM use, free online banking and I pay $8.00 a month for checking. If I need a certified check, it's free. Terri fears that we are moving to faceless, impersonal banking. Only if you deal with a place that is focused on making a profit. Everyone has the right to make a profit, but it comes with a price. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

Cooler

The temperatures have turned cooler here in Hooterville. The highs are in the 70s and the lows in the 40s. It is good gardening weather. We have also had a rash of cooler weather-driven shoppers in the hardware store. During the decades of low energy prices, chiefly the 50s through the 70s, the home builders in Hooterville didn't worry much about insulating houses. Heck, if it was cold in the house, just crank up the heat. It was cheap. Many of the homes are brick or block with no wall insulation at all. Even the roof insulation was minimal. Our store is in a lower income area and many of the houses date to the 50s or earlier. When temps drop, it gets mighty cool inside. We had a run on electric heaters, furnace filters and things like fuses today. Mrs. Sneed and I went to one of our favorite restaurants tonight and sat on the patio. The food was great, but it was a bit cold and we wished we had worn jackets. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

“Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it.”--Henry David Thoreau This is the very sort of elitist bullsh*t that President-elect Barack Obama has vowed to wipe out of our society once he takes office. It is a sad day in America when the fitness of a man is judged by the fabric of his pants, rather than the content of his character. But my outrage outraces my explanation, so I will start at the beginning. Some Guy Named Bob signed us up to play golf this morning at a local country club. It is a semi-private club, meaning that the snooty a-holes who own it, cannot generate enough cash flow from members alone to operate. They have had to resort to allowing the riff-raff off the street in to play on their course, just to make ends meet. How sad it must be to live in an enclave with the right sort of people, only to find your golf course infested with...with...with, well, people like me. The not-quite-upper-crust must toss and turn all night, getting out of bed from time to time to check their doors and windows, in fear that the Merle Sneeds of the world, didn't leave after eighteen holes, like they were told, and are lurking in the bushes, waiting for the opportunity to spring. "Did you hear about the Smiths?" "No, what." "A Sneed was found sleeping in their Range Rover. Right in their driveway." "I'm going to be sick, just sick." "I know, its awful." So, as I got ready this morning I threw on a Nike Golf shirt and one of my best pairs of jeans, still blue and no holes, since it was a bit too cool for shorts. I also put on my lightest jacket and off I went. I thought I cut a passable figure. I arrived at the course and went into the clubhouse to pay. The guy at the register looked at me and said, "Sir, we don't allow denim on our course." Longtime readers know two things about Merle Wayne Sneed. A. I don't like being told what to do, especially by a nitwit who thinks his position as 'cash register manner' at the semi-private golf club confers some sort of status upon him, and, B. I only wear jeans when donning long pants. In fact, the last pair of long pants I wore that weren't jeans, was at Daughter Sneed's wedding in March and that was under duress. I told the guy that apparently they didn't allow me either and I huffed off. Except that, when I headed back to my car, I saw a guy standing with three other guys on the first tee box and he was wearing, and I'm not making this up, denim pants. This, of course, required that I go back in the clubhouse and make a bit of a scene. I was duty bound, I really had no choice in the matter. I asked the cash register guy if the 'no denim' rule was for everyone or was it something about my pants in particular? He repeated that they have a strict 'no denim' rule. I suggested that he get outside asap before the whole enterprise came crashing down. First its denim and next you have hillbillies swimming in the water hazards. Good old Some Guy Named Bob, wearing a well-worn pair of corduroy pants that he bought at Goodwill, went inside to argue my case, even though I told him not to. All men may be created equal, but not all cotton pants are created equal. Blue corduroy good, blue denim bad. Cotton dyed blue good, cotton dyed blue bad. As I was loading my stuff back in my truck, The Seafood King and Some Guy Named Bob hustled out to tell me that the management had agreed to make an exception for this one time only and I was welcome to play. So I did, out of friendship. I asked Some Guy Named Bob to exclude either these yahoos or me when making future reservations. The Seafood King, who owns a group of restaurants, made an interesting point. These are not the times in which to chase away business. But then again, that may just be 'little people' thinking. P.S. North Carolina went for Obama and Missouri is poised to go to McCain. The final total will be 364-174, mighty close to 363-175. Not to gloat or anything. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

Despite fears to the contrary, the sun did come up this morning. Perhaps you are asking yourself, "What were the big issues out there in Arizona, and how did things turn out?" The first thing you need to understand is that Arizonans put all kinds of loony nonsense on the ballot every election. There are a number of kook groups trying to pass some unnecessary measure each election. Another thing to understand is that our state is dominated by a bunch of nosy Mormons in the Phoenix area. If we could ditch the Phoenix suburbs, we might actually move out of the 18th century. There were two measures that I felt some passion about. One was a measure forced upon us by the Mormons and other right wing religious groups, along with the Catholic hierarchy, to constitutionally ban gay marriage. I had hoped that it would be defeated, but bigotry and ignorance prevailed. I also hoped for the defeat of a measure to reform the payday loan industry. That may seem odd, but the measure was a fake, put out by the scum that operate these businesses. They have an exemption from our usury laws until 2010. Our legislature has refused to extend their exemption, so they will be out of business in 2010 unless they can figure a weasel out. They had hoped that by putting a fake initiative on the ballot that purported to reform them, they could get voter approval to continue their theft into perpetuity. They lost. My Congressperson was returned to office, where she will continue to muck up things. But at least her opponent, a far right wing freak lost. Arizona went for McCain, not much surprise there. I guess our slog through the 1700s will continue. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

Election Night

7:30 PM MST, the election for President has been conceded by the McCain people. The Senator has not personally conceded, but Nicole Wallace one of his advisors is being interviewed and is saying, that they always knew it would be tough and that if anyone but McCain had been nominated, tonight's result would be a rout. Unlike what it is, a rout. Pennsylvania and Ohio have gone to Obama, effectively wrapping up the victory. At 8:15 pm, the count stands at 207 for Obama. Obama will collect 77 electoral votes from California, Hawaii, Oregon and Washington, bringing his total to 284, more than enough to win. The only suspense is how high his total will go. 8:37 PM - The news channel is showing Harry Reid attempting to give a speech. It's not working, the man is a moron. He makes President Bush seem eloquent. Nancy Pelosi is standing next to him clapping like a trained chimp. If I have to look at this pair anymore, I wll gouge my eyes out. 9:00 PM - ABC News has George Will, Donna Brazille, Some Guy and Cokie Roberts sitting in front of a window with Times Square as a backdrop. They each have a laptop with a a sign that says "Political Analysis". I guess "Four idiots sitting in front of a window", wouldn't fit on the laptops. Some Guy turns out to be Matthew Dodd, or as I said, some guy. Diane Sawyer is wandering around the studio, holding court. She stops to talk to George S., then wanders to the window, where laptop gang is assembled. Apparently, this is ABC's way of adding a special Dianeness to every aspect of their coverage, whatever that might be. I'm woozie and not in a good way. ABC just called the election for Obama. There was a speech or something from the new President, but it was drowned out because ABC had microphones open in Times Square. Brilliant production work. I remember why I don't watch the TV news. 9:15 PM - McCain is giving a concession speech. He is a gracious man. Thank goodness the hockey mom didn't speak. Palin thinks we will see more of her in the future. I doubt it. 10:00PM-ish - Obama is giving his victory speech, which is vintage Obama. The man can talk. I appreciate and understand the feeling of African-Americans about Obama's election. What a moment for them. Early Morning - Obama leads in the popular vote 52% to 46%. Obama's electoral lead stands at 349 to 163 with Missouri and North Carolina still undecided. The final total will be; 375 - 163, if Obama wins both remaining states 364 - 174, if Obama wins NC, bu loses Missouri 360 - 178 if Obama win Missouri, but loses NC 349 - 189 if Obama loses both. Didn't someone call this thing 363 - 175 for Obama just a couple of weeks ago? Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

Sometimes when you run into a lunatic, the wisest course is to get out of the way. This is the latest letter from the person who claims that her peace is being disrupted by our dog. Bear in mind that she lives almost five blocks from here and that there are a couple dozen barking dogs between our house and hers. She is clearly irrational, since my dog barking at her as she passes by cannot in anyway disrupt the peaceful enjoyment of her property. In my response to her certified letter last week I told her that she was a coward for making anonymous threats and for not being clear about how the dog was actually bothering her. I invited her to contact me and discuss it. Apparently, she cannot grasp the idea that making an anonymous complaint is not going to bolster her case, but will make her look like a fool. So on the advice of Mrs. Sneed, we shall be ignoring this mental case until she takes further action. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

The Sneed Blog Presidential Endorsement

Someone famously observed that if you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you got. However, knowing what to do isn't the same as 'doing' what to do. The first question when things go wrong should be what can I do differently? When I worked at the middle school, the guidance counselors, many of the teachers and some of the administrators, had the slogan plastered on their doors, bulletin boards, etc. Regretfully, they were unable to see that their actions caused their mediocrity. We have grown up in a country that operated on the principle that hard effort brings its own reward. Work hard and you will be rewarded. To a large extent this is still true, but slowly, that notion is being reshaped. It is as if Adam Smith's invisible hand has many of our citizens by the throat. It seems to me that more and more the people at the top have shifted from the idea that everyone can share in prosperity, to the attitude that prosperity means getting as much as you can, in any way you can. The examples of this notion are everywhere around us. Whirlpool Corporation which just announced the layoff of 5000 workers and the closure of plants in Tennessee and Oklahoma, paid its CEO Jeff Fettig, $12.94m in 2007. He will make that much again this year. Can anyone serious argue that you can get a better CEO for $13m, that you can for say, a million or two? Where is the shared pain for the guy at the top? And Jeff Fettig is one of the good guys in the CEO world. At the other end of the spectrum is Countrywide CEO Angelo Mozilo. This character was paid $22M and sold $121m worth of stock while the industry was melting down. His blatant wealth grab is an obscenity. Thousands of little people working in the mortgage industry had their lives savaged while Mozilo collected his riches, aided by friends in government. And this plunder extends far beyond the mortgage industry. Yesterday, one of the cashiers at work told me that her husband had been laid off from his job as a mechanic for a small car lot. She says that they have enough money to pay their rent on Monday, but after that, she doesn't know what they will do. The sellers of high priced items like cars, rely on credit to smooth out their cash flow needs. When credit dries up, payrolls cannot be met. People like this are relegated to dead end retail work, because blue collar jobs have been slashed for the last 25 years, in order to drive up profitability. Since the 1980s American industry has improved the lives of workers everywhere but in America. American CEOs and other high-level folks have grown rich, while the working class has been left to fend for itself. Government has let us down, industry has let us down and it's time for a change. Barack Obama's opponents trumpet that he is a Socialist, that he has unsavory connections, that he lacks experience or that he is a *allegation goes here*. It simply is past the time where any of that matters. People want change and he's the guy who was smart enough to figure that out first. John McCain is a centrist, running in a party that has become dominated by the far right. He is a decent man, dedicated public servant and an American hero. But challenging times demand new ideas. So, when people go to the polls on Tuesday, I think they will vote to change what we are doing, in order to change what we are getting. In normal times Barack Obama would not be my cup of tea. He is a bit too inexperienced and a bit too far to the left to suit me. These are not normal times, so I am supporting Barack Obama for President. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky