Nothin' better than a day shootin' stuff.

This from section 26 of the Arizona Constitution; The right of the individual citizen to bear arms in defense of himself or the state shall not be impaired...

Those words probably meant a lot in 1912, when Arizona became a state, but as Bob Dylan opined, the times, they are a-changin'. Except of course, in Hooterville, where the ultra-right-wing wackos, from the Mormon territories surrounding Phoenix, still control our legislature.

What this means is that in Arizona you might be out on the town enjoying yourself, not a care in the world and come face to holster with an insecure buffoon carrying a gun on his waist.

Mrs. Sneed, Noah and I went out to a family-style restaurant this evening and had the disconcerting experience of sitting near a dope toting a big old sidearm, not on his waist, which was indiscernible, but on the back of his pant. The jackass had his wife and kids with him and felt sufficiently threatened by the atmosphere to bring his gun with him. What a moron.

Before you jump to the conclusion that he might be in law enforcement, allow me to dissuade you of that notion. He weighed about three hundred pounds, too heavy for even the most veteran of cops.

To a certain extent, I blame the management of the restaurant for serving him while armed, but maybe no one noticed except us and the other one hundred patrons. I guess I'm equally to blame for not complaining to the manager.

Most of the second amendment types I see around look like men who got beat up a lot as kids. Now they're not taking any chances. You rarely see a normal-looking person carrying a gun on his waist.

"But Sneed," you might ask, "who defines normal?" Me, that's who.

As bad as open firearms are, Arizona felt the need to pass a concealed carry law in 1994. Now, one in one hundred citizens of our backwoods state are wandering around with a gun stashed somewhere on their person.

The second amendment loudmouths love to bluster about who they would blast and what crimes they would prevent with their swell pistolas given the need. But the truth is that a citizen almost never stops a crime in progress with a personal firearm. The NRA likes to brag that six-million crimes per year are stopped by an armed citizenry, but that's hooey if you ask me.

I swear we are a bastion of hickery.



Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

Thursday

One of the problems with gainful employment, is that it messes with more important things.


Mr. Jeff Peckman of Denver, Colorado, has promised to show representatives of the Denver news media a video showing a real live space alien, this Friday. That according to a story in the Rocky Mountain News. Coincidentally, that is the same day that Merle Wayne Sneed planned to release a video of monkeys flying out of his butt.

It was golf today for the usual suspects and me. Since it has become hot, Seafood Jr. has retreated into his shell, not to emerge until November.

Because we were just three golfers, the starter sent a guy to join us. We'll just call him Larry. Larry was a pretty darn good golfer, but also a real sourpuss. Larry is affiliated with a major sports team, doing some sort of support work that allows him to live here in our fair city. He also has the demeanor of an on-duty mortician.

As we introduced ourselves on the first tee, I jokingly told Larry that I wanted to go ahead and apologize in advance for the behavior of my pals. Larry looked at me with a completely somber look and said, "Guys, lets just try to have a good round." I think that is coach-speak for no screw ups allowed.

Let's just say Larry didn't join in our usual hijinks on the course. In fact, let's just say we, and by we, I mean mostly me, annoyed the crap out of him. On the upside, the course was relatively empty, so the pace of play was brisk.

At the end of our round, after the dust of Larry's hasty departure had settled, we adjourned to a leisurely lunch, after which I came home and took a nice nap. Pretty good day if your name isn't Larry.






Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

To Bee or Not To Bee

These guys love the trumpet vines.




What do Merle Sneed and Sharon Stone have in common? Neither knows much about karma. What else? That lack of knowledge will not stop either of us from proving we don't know squat. Of course, I have an excuse for my ignorance, since I am not a friend of the Dali Lama, like Sharon.

By now you must have heard that Sharon Stone said that she thought the earthquake in China might be payback for their mistreatment of the Tibetans in general and her pal, the Dali Lama in particular. Sharon apparently believes that karma is some sort divine retribution for ne'er-do-wells. Some supernatural force looks down on things and smites the bad guys and rewards the good guys.

The fly in the ointment for this line of reasoning is that earthquakes are sort of indiscriminate in their devastation. Pretty much, people in all countries have been victimized by an earthquake or some other manner of mass destruction. There have to be some good guys, doesn't there? The thousands of Chinese children that died in the quake harbored no ill will toward the Tibetans. How do you account for that?

Merle Sneed, on the other hand, suspects that karma is more personal. If you behave badly, surround yourself with bad people, who do bad things, you will likely be visited by some bad things yourself. Good people, good things...you get it. It's not crime and punishment, it's the natural consequence of the choices we make.

If Merle Sneed is crushed by a falling church steeple, thats irony, not karma. Perhaps the Dali Lama will explain this to Sharon. Or maybe I'm wrong and the Chinese had it coming.









Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

More Cars

I'll continue my rant about the automobile for another day. No matter how I do the math, buying a new car makes no sense. MY 1999 Civic is in perfect condition and gets 30 mpg in everyday driving. I think I could sell it for $6500 and buy an new Honda Civic Hybrid for about $25,000 including tax and license. The net cost to me would be about $18,500. Since I drive about 6500 miles per year, at 30 mpg, I will use about 217 gallons of gas this year. At $3.75 per gallon that's $812 on gas. Driving a 40 mpg gallon hybrid would drop my annual gas cost to $610. Using the $202 annual savings, it would take me 91 years to recoup my $18,500. At $5 per gallon it still takes 68 years. Of course, if you owe a lot of money on a gas-guzzler, the math is different. Maybe trading the big debt for more fuel efficient debt makes more sense. Understanding the math, it makes a whole lot of sense to buy a good late model used car, one that gets 25 mpg in town, over an ultra fuel efficient hybrid. And the way the market works, good used cars can be had fairly cheaply. Squirrel asked in a comment yesterday about my thoughts on the Toyota Prius. The Prius is a fabulous vehicle as nearly as I can tell, especially if you do lots of in-town driving. The in-town mileage is in the high forties. People that I've heard talk about the driving experience, seem to love it. One concern about hybrid vehicles used to be the batteries. According to an interview that I heard recently, the batteries, even in the oldest Prius have held up. That's seven years. As I understand it, the manufacturer is required to warranty the batteries for ten years, under emissions legislation. The problem with buying a Prius is that it is a dealer's market. The car dealers are gouging the public because demand outstrips supply. Toyota dealers are among the worst historically for squeezing the consumer, because they are selling a premium product. When it comes to buying a new car, there is really no reason to have to go through the whole car buying experience and its incumbent hassle. The are a couple of ways to use the internet to avoid the creepy guys and gals in the salesroom. If you have never checked out carsdirect.com, it is worth doing so. This site provides you exact information on the cost that the dealer paid for the vehicle, its MSRP and gives you a price that they will buy it for you. In my post yesterday, I mentioned that I can get the Civic EX for $19,339 using either Car Direct or the dealer's internet salesman. The dealer pays the manufacturer $18,739 for the vehicle. On the surface the dealer looks to make $600. What most people don't know is that the dealer has a hidden profit in the form of a manufacturer's holdback. Most cars and trucks have a 2-3% additional profit from the manufacturer when the car sells. For my Civic, the MSRP is $20,145, the dealer will get a payment of 2% or $403 from Honda when they sell the car. This is in addition to all the money they can squeeze out of the consumer. Above all, keep the deal simple. Don't buy anything from the dealer except the car. No insurance, extended warranty or dealer arranged financing. Keep a trade-in out of the deal. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

Car Dealers

This is a photo of a Honda Civic GX, the only production natural gas powered car in America. It also happens to be the current car of my dreams, not that my dreams are filled with cars, mind you.

One day, not too long ago, I happened upon an email from Honda inviting me, Merle Wayne Sneed, to check out the Honda Civic GX by responding to their email. I was assured by Honda that a quote on one would be forthcoming. That turned out to be a lie.

What was forthcoming was more emails and phone calls from eager Honda dealers, who while they had no Honda Civic GX for sale, would surely love to sell me another type of Honda.

One of the salesmen who called did give me the name of a dealership in Phoenix that had the Honda Civic GX for sale. It turned out that they didn't but that dealer gave me the name of another in Phoenix who definitely had the Honda Civic GX. That dealer, it turned out, didn't want to sell the cars, they wanted to lease them for over $600 per month. Leasing provides more profit to the dealer than sales.

I was reminded once more that car dealers are skunks.

Here's more proof. Yesterday while the lovely Mrs. Sneed and I were out, we checked out a local Honda dealer, Chapman Honda. This is one of the local dealers that contacted me by email concerning the Honda Civic GX.

Chapman claimed that they we having a huge Memorial Day sale and that yesterday, while the dealership was closed, they would have every Honda marked with their special low, low price. No salesmen would be present to hassle you.

If I was going to by another Honda and couldn't get the Honda Civic GX, I would opt for the Honda Civic EX, a gasoline-powered vehicle that gets good mileage and has the famous Honda reliability. The Civic Ex has a MSRP of $20,145, with an automatic transmission. I can buy the car for $19,339 through an online broker and the dealer still makes about $1000 on that deal.

What Chapman Honda does, like many dealers do, is they tack on hundreds of dollars in bogus dealer charges to every new vehicle. These are things that the Honda designers and engineers are too inept to build into the car, at least if the local dealers are to be believed.

In this case, Chapman added $900 for something they call a desert protection package and about $700 for a security device. Then they discounted the car back to slightly more than MSRP. Their sweet Memorial Day deal is to get the consumer to pay more than the car is worth according to the manufacturer.

Modern cars don't require special sealants and coatings, especially in dry climates. The chip technology built into modern ignitions make them exceedingly difficult to steal. These add-ons are useless, except to generate extra profit for the dealer.

As I said, car dealers are skunks.







Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

Eureka!

The staff of the Sneed blog is still reeling from the stern rebuke of our editorial stance on the dangers of Wi-Fi. David from the United Kingdom really set us straight on this whole business by playing the firefighter card. In addition, he body-slammed us by dragging some relatively obscure Canadian scientist, Magda Havas into the fray.

Dr. Havas is not a medical doctor, but rather an associate professor of Environmental and Resource Studies at Trent University in Canada. One might have thought that an eminent researcher such as Dr. Havas might have achieved full professorship, but maybe that's not how it works in Canada.

The good doctor is out to rid the world of something called 'dirty electricity' a term used to describe all of the electrical waves around us. She is big star in the alternative medicine circles.

Dr. Havas seems to claim to have done studies in which subjects with muscular dystrophy show improvement when the electrical field around them is lessened by the use of special filters. Ditto for diabetes suffers and children afflicted with autism. If you want a sense of the good doctor, go to You Tube and type in her name.

Dr. Havas is a a hero among the lunatic fringe.

Disclaimer: The Sneed blog does not have a dog in the electromagnetic radiation fight. It is our position however, that scientific evidence in the form of double-blinded studies, should be presented and peer reviewed before we get our undies in a bunch over stray radio waves. We at the Sneed blog think that it is poor public policy to legislate against something on the basis that it might oneday prove to be harmful.

Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

They're Coming

It seems that at every turn in our road to a better life through technology, some band of determined imbeciles stands ready to turn us back.

The churches are full of people who turn their backs on enlightenment, in order to embrace a two-thousand-year-old world view. Their foolishness extends from those who refuse modern medical care, to those who block research in the name of religion.

But unscientific silliness can be secular as well as religious. Recall the mommies who 'feel' that childhood vaccines cause a host of ills, chiefly autism. No actual evidence exists to support their notion, but they still stand ready to drive vaccination from the planet.

I read a new article today that a group of nut jobs in Santa Fe, N.M. are lobbying against Wi-Fi because of an 'allergy' to it. Forget that no such documented allergy exists, forget that it is Santa Fe, one of the holy cities of nuttiness, there is nothing to suggest that this is anything more than the ravings of the delusional or overly-credulous.

The simple fact is that if Wi-Fi or any other source of electromagnetic radiation (EMR) posed a real health hazard, we would all have been long dead. It is everywhere around us. Our homes, offices and stores are electromagnetic cocoons and we are tightly wrapped within them.

If EMR had harmful health effects, we would be experiencing an epidemic of illnesses such as leukemia, one of the favorite claims by the EMR alarmists. The situation is quite the contrary. According to this information from the National Cancer Institute, the incidence of leukemia in the population of the US has remained stable over the past twenty years.

This nonsense chaps my hide.







Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

A couple of weeks back I posted about an unfortunate confrontation involving former President Bill Clinton and a homeowner, Mrs. Doris Frazier of Gas City, Indiana. Imagine my surprise this morning when I checked my email and found a message from one of the people mentioned in that post. It was a real surprise.

You may be tempted to dismiss my claim as more of the usual Sneed bullsh*t, but allow me to assure you that its true. And this communication came without a cease and desist order and threat of lawsuit. Sweet.

In other news, the geniuses who run our city have a penchant for boneheadedness. They are in the process of seal coating the streets in our neighborhood. Seal coating involves putting some type of oil-based liquid and then dumping gravel on top of the oily stuff. Eventually, they run a large roller over the street and use a sweeper to pick up some of the excess gravel.

My buddy, Some Guy Named Bob, tells me that this is the first street maintenance that our neighborhood has had in the thirty years that he has lived in the area. Our streets were in bad shape.



But they don't get all the oil-covered little stones with the street sweeper. In fact, they don't get most of them. Most of them wind up beating the beejeezus out of the bottom of passing cars. Or in my case, clogging up my brakes. I had to take the Civic to the brake shop twice to get the sticky stones cleaned out of my brakes. The brake shop guy told me that a lot of people from the neighborhood had been in for the same reason as me.







Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

eBay Awesomeness

Based upon feedback about yesterday's post, awesomeness is sweeping the country, and maybe the globe. From New York to Bombay, the readers found it awesome. That is just awesome. Speaking of awesome, I sold something on eBay. I never sold anything on eBay before, so I was delighted to find a guy in Texas was will to pay $115 for something I almost gave to Goodwill. Who would have imagined that my grandmother's wedding ring could fetch $115? Not me, that's for sure. Awesome. Okay, that part is a lie. I was cleaning out the back room the other day and I came across a set of biblical commentaries from the old days before I gave up religion as a bad idea. Why I've kept these books is a mystery, but when I was rearranging, there they were. The entire series cost me about $70 back in the early seventies. I did some internet research and found a several sets selling from retail booksellers for a couple of hundred bucks. I listed them on eBay for $100, plus $15 shipping. After eBay, PayPal and UPS gets their cut, I should net a cool $80. Not too bad for something I would have gladly given away. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

Close Encouters Of The Awesomest Kind

I went out this evening to pick up some food for the lovely Mrs. Sneed and me. We have a Mexican fast-service place around the corner, not a Taco Bell type of place, rather something between Taco Bell and a full-service restaurant. The young woman working at the cash register was a kind of disinterested little thing. Most of the workers at the place are recent immigrants from Mexico or Central America. They work hard and are all business when it comes to their jobs. The cashier was an American of Hispanic decent, which meant of course, she had typical American teenager's take-it-or-leave-it attitude about customer service. She also has a bad case of the 'anything else'. Maybe you've observed the anything else syndrome among young cashiers. The ask you if you want anything else after each item you order. They act like their pants are on fire and they need you away from the register asap so that they can run in back and douse themselves with a bucket of water. My purchase came to $14.78 and when I handed her a twenty, she said, "If you have 78 cents, that would be awesome." I guess they were short of change. Alas, I only had seventy-one cents, but luckily, she pronounced it awesome anyway. That's what she said, "that's awesome anyway." Her parting words wished me an...wait for it...awesome evening. And it wasn't just me. While I waited ten minutes for my order, she wished another half dozen customers awesomeness of all sorts. Awesome. Then there's this. It hit one hundred degrees today, here in our fair city. The century mark has arrived more or less on schedule, but its abrupt arrival caught me off guard. Longtime readers will recall that I am not such a fan of the heat. Luckily, the heat is just messing with us, giving us a brief taste of its full fury. It is supposed to be even hotter tomorrow, before dropping into the eighties later in the week. By month's end, the one-hundreds will be on us as a daily happening, at least until the rains start in July. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

I've been busy and tired these past couple of days. That's a bad combination, busy and tired. Busy works best with refreshed and tired teams up nicely with a leisurely pace. Together though, they add up to trouble. My trouble began on Thursday when Some Guy Named Bob and I went out to play golf. The Seafood King is somewhere out on the seven seas, conducting important fish business and he left me in charge of Some Guy Named Bob, for all matters golf. Some Guy Named Bob loves a bargain. When I say he loves a bargain, you may not understand how much. Bob really loves a bargain. Some Guy Named Bob loves a bargain so much that he often buys stuff he doesn't need or want, solely because it is a bargain. Some Guy Named Bob's idea of a good time is trolling the yard sales and thrift stores for irresistible items to pile on his already giant stack of stuff. Anyway, Some Guy Named Bob found us a deal on all-you-can-play golf for $15 bucks. The catch is that the price is good after noon. In case you wonder, it's hot after noon here this time of year. On the upside, we were among the few idiots out on the course. Some Guy Named Bob insisted that we take full advantage of this wonderful bargain by playing until we dropped. Thirty-six holes of golfing fun, enough to make two old guys drop. Then someone, and I'm not necessarily saying it was Mrs. Sneed kept us out late Thursday night and I didn't get to sleep until nearly one a.m. Making for a tired Friday in the store. Our daughter-in-law, the mother of Aiden and wife of Older Son Sneed, graduated from college yesterday. Needless to say, we are proud of her. Wife, mother, working full-time and going to college. Quite an accomplishment. Last night, our daughter-in-law's parents had a party in her honor at their home. It was a lot of fun and, of course, we got home late. Today was my early day at work, so like most Saturdays, I started tired and it went downhill from there. Saturdays are the big day in the store and it is hectic all day. You may recall that hectic and tired is not the optimal condition for maximum hardware guy efficiency. I did meet an interesting woman today. And by interesting, I mean annoying. She was obnoxious from the get-go. Right out of the box, she wanted to know if I was going to help her or was she going to have to serve herself. A smart guy would have pick the latter and found a place to hide, but not me because I am a glutton for abuse. She needed thirty inches of lamp pull chain for a ceiling fan. I cut the chain and wrote up a ticket for two and a half feet at, get this, fifty-nine cents per foot. She was mildly indignant that I charged her for the half-foot, asking me if I was really charging her for the six inches over two feet. When I told her yes, she said, "Oh, you'll probably get a big raise for that." I guess I was supposed to give her whatever she wanted at no charge. Odd. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

Long-Legged Pimp

(image copywrited www.LetterJames.com)

I think there is general agreement that the highlight of Dr. Manning's rant that I posted yesterday, was his description of Barack Obama as a long-legged pimp. Priceless.

If you have an hour to invest, I would invite you to listen to this week's This American Life podcast, called The Giant Pool of Money. It is a one-hour tutorial on the greed and stupidity that drove the mortgage boom and bust. It is not so much a financial program as a human interest one.

I got an interesting first-hand glimpse into how the wealthy spend their days today. At least one wealthy, early middle-aged mom, anyway.

I walked over to Starbucks this morning and was sitting in a cushy armchair, when I noticed a woman come into the store wearing a kind of rubber boots. Mukluks of sorts, or maybe I'm thinking of boots worn by a person who mucks around in the mud.

A few weeks ago, Aiden, one of my little guys, and I walked to the same Starbucks and I saw this women then too. I remembered having wondered then what she did that required those boots. As luck would have it, she took the chair next to me while she waited for her order, so I asked her about the boots.

It seems that six days a week she rides horses for pleasure. The boots are convenient for doing the prep work required in riding, before she dons her good riding boots. Simple enough.

She went on to tell me that she is married to a very successful businessman and is a stay-at-home mom, with teenage children. She also has the time and means to pursue horsey stuff as a hobby.

After a few moments of chatting, she said that she had to leave because she had a riding lesson to get to. I was walking out the side door and I noticed that she was getting into a new Mercedes. Must be nice.

Of course, it's all relative. A guy I know is pretty happy being semi-retired, even if he doesn't have the time, money or inclination for the pursuits of the upper crust. I'm content to while away the hours, conferring with the flowers and chasing hardware.

Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

Dr. Manning Explains It All

I watch this guy's clips on You Tube from time to time and he is a genuine hoot. You might be tricked into thinking he's joking, but let me assure he is quite serious. The video clip is about five minutes long, but try to slog through it. His rant becomes more bizarre as he goes along. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

Stuff

The Indians are outraged that President Bush and Secretary Rice blamed rising food prices on developing nations such as India and China. In fact, my Indians are suggesting that Americans go on a diet because they say that Americans consume the most of food of any nation in the world. They may be on to something. It wouldn't hurt us to cut back some of our outrageous consumption. I read that the average American consumes 3700 calories per day. That's a lot of calories, especially when viewed from behind. I'm hoping that all this angst over the rising price of everything will help us all to think more, buy less and buy smarter. In the short term it might be painful, but overall it seems that cutting back will be good for everyone. How many of use are driving around alone in a car of truck that will comfortably seat three to five adults? That makes no sense and the rising price of gas is driving that point home. Pun intended. We buy food based on convenience, not quality or economy. We buy almost everything for that little extra feature, and not for utility. If I can't download movies to my cellphone will my life suck? Probably not. There are always alternatives to the choices we make about spending our hard-earned cash. We may not like the alternatives, but they are there. Harder times will help us figure that out. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

Death of a Giant

Our local paper is running a three-part series on social promotion in our schools. The crux of their reporting is that students are being promoted when they should be retained and that they are receiving passing grades when they should be flunked. Not exactly news.


(click on image)

Back in 2006 I had a post about this Saguaro Cactus that was in a neighbor's front yard. This was the biggest Saguaro that I have ever seen up close. It was about thirty feet tall and had thirteen arms. Using those figures, the plant must have been at least one hundred-thirty years old. It was there more than a century before the house was built.

Last week, I noticed that a couple of arms had fallen off the plant. I don't know if this was natural causes, vandalism or the work of the owner. In any event, the rest of the plant looked okay to me.

Over the weekend, the old man who lives in the house had a couple of guys cut it down and haul it away. This is akin to chopping down a giant redwood that happened to be growing in your yard.

Saguaro blossom is the official flower of the State of Arizona and the cacti is on the native plant list, which means it cannot be cut down on public land or private land.

If a Saguaro happens to be in the path of a highway, it must be removed. If a land developer wants to clear land for houses, they must relocate the Saguaros on the property. In fact, the only people who can destroy a Saguaro without fear of prosecution, are homeowners who can remove Saguaro from their own property. So, I guess the guy who cut this one down is home free. He's an imbecile, but he's home free in the eyes of the law.

Yes, I know that I, Merle Wayne Sneed only recently chopped down a tree in his own front yard. Not the same thing at all.

If you have Google Earth software, you can find the intersection of E. Rosewood St. and N. Sahuara Ave. in zip code 85711 and it shows a cool shadow of the Saguaro in the image if you zoom in on the house in the NW corner.













Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

We are spending a quiet Mother's Day, here at Casa Sneed. Yesterday was the big day for us this weekend. Mrs. Sneed and Daughter Sneed culminated three years of hard work, by receiving their masters degrees in marriage and family therapy. Mrs. Sneed's sister came all the way from California to be here for the ceremony. The Sneed children and their respective families were in attendance. In fact, all the Sneeds showed up except for two individuals. First of all, Cletus Sneed, who likely has no idea that his mother was attending school these past three years, was absent as expected. Then there was Merle Wayne Sneed, yours truly. I could not make it because I couldn't get the day off from my piss ant hardware store job. Try as I might, no one would trade with me. I figuered it would be a slam dunk to get someone to trade Saturday for Mother's Day, but like most times, I was mistaken. Call me a jackass, if you will. I suppose I could have given the store an ultimatum, give me the day off or I quit, but that is a slippery slope. No one wants to work around a guy who is one slight from quitting in a huff. I'm always one slight from quitting in a huff, but they don't need it shoved in their faces. So, I worked yesterday, but I did make it to the post-commencement festivities at Daughter Sneed's house. I am giving notice right now that when Mrs. Sneed gets her Ph.D, I'm definitely taking the day off. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

Clearing A Few Things Up

Lacey the Wonder Mutt


Friday is house cleaning day here at the Merle Wayne Sneed blog. It's time to clear up those pesky oversights, errors and downright lies that eagle-eyed readers have called me on.

A couple of days ago I mentioned that I have Fred Munster-sized feet. Reader Anonymous wondered if I meant Fred Munster or Herman Flintstone? Ha, ha, ha, that's a good one Anonymous! There are actually three competing explanations for why I made such an obvious mistake. The readers will have to decide which is the real reason.

1. I had my head up my keister.
2. I confused Herman Munster with the actor Fred Gwynne, who portrayed him on television.
3. I really meant Fred Munster, Herman's much larger, but little known brother.

Secondly, Jennifer from Texas wondered if Bill Clinton really jumped out of his limo in Gas City, Indiana and accosted Doris Frazier over a lawn sign, or did I just make it up?

Yes and no, dear Jennifer. It was really Beverly Bemis of Ft. Wayne, Indiana.

Julia, of the United States of America, left this perplexing comment.

New Balance fan here. I search for shoes online for my giant feet. I think I have it bad, but I really feel bad for drag queens.

Let me set the record straight here. I am not now nor have I ever been a drag queen. Occasionally, I will slip into a pair of Mrs. Sneed's undies for fun, but I don't leave the house in them. Lately though, I've had to cut back. She gets mighty pissed when she goes to put on her skivvies and the elastic is all stretched out.

That is all.




Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

The Sad End

Former President Bill Clinton was detained briefly this morning in Gas City, Indiana, after trying to stop Mrs. Doris Frazier from removing her Hillary 2008 yard sign from her front yard.

The former President spied Mrs. Frazier from his slow-moving limo and leaped out before his startled Secret Service continent could stop him.

According to Mrs. Frazier, Mr. Clinton shouted at her to, "Put the G.D. sign down! Hillary's still got a chance."

Mrs. Frazier declined to press charges against Mr. Clinton, saying, "I'm sure he means well and supports his wife. Frankly, they have problems enough at the moment, without Doris Frazier of Gas City, Indiana, piling on."

The Secret Service has activated the child safety door switches in the President's limo to prevent a reoccurence of today's mishap. As the limo drove away with the agitated Mr. Clinton, he managed to shout at Mayor H. Larry Leach, who had come out in his yard to see what the ruckus was, "Gas City will never see another dollar of Federal Money, smart guy."

The Obama campaign had no comment.




Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

Another Day, Another Wayne

Waz up? I was browsing the internet for new shoes, because when you are afflicted with Fred Munster-sized feet, that's what you do, and I spied these kicks. Orange is the new black, Dog!

With these on my feets and my ride all pimped out, I'll be rolling up on some sweet young ladies. Ya feel me?





This is firecracker plant, also called coral plant. It loves the heat and mild winters. It adds nice color and attracts bees, hummingbirds and butterflies.

In our news this morning was this article. Sam Eliot didn't kill his brother, neither did Bob Eliot. Jim, Joe or Ray Eliot? No way. No sir, it was Wayne Eliot of McNeal, AZ. who settled his brotherly dispute with bullets.


Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

I wish I knew what I really wanted in this post-retirement job situation. Suddenly, I am awash in job opportunities. I don't even really want the job I have. Item one in the job situation is that I am kind of pissed at the boss over something that happened on Saturday. I made a careless oversight that resulted in a potential safety hazard. I say potential because it would take some extraordinary circumstances for someone to get hurt as a result of my carelessness, but I suppose it could happen. I found out I had made this oversight when the boss called me on the radio and asked me to come and see her. What got my undies in a bunch was that she chose to have this conversation in the presence of a sixteen-year-old know-it-all who is one of our janitors. The little bastard felt the need to chime in with his two cents. It was one of those situations where you walk away and then think of what you should have said but didn't. Why didn't think to ask him how the f*ck this affected him and where did she get off chastising me in front of the little cretin? I plan to speak to the boss about her managerial style tomorrow. Item two in the job derby involves a conversation I had with a fellow who has a contract to design fiber communications sites for the local telephone company. He offered me about three times what my hardware job pays to work for him. I told him that I didn't want to work full-time, but that I would consider twenty-four hours a week. He said he would have to see how that would work for the client and get back to me. I figured I wouldn't hear from him. Unfortunately, he called today and left a message to call him immediately, which I didn't do. Then early this evening, he called and left another message to call him. I'm guessing that the twenty-four hour plan is a go. It seems like a lot of trouble to me. More money, but some actual pressure to produce. I don't think I need that. Lastly, the handyman guy called me today to ask if I wanted to work some for him this week. Unfortunately, I don't have time. He says he can use me a lot if I free myself from my near full-time status at the hardware store. Now that's an enticing idea. What to do. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

Time To Abolish The Death Penalty

If you have ten minutes to spare watch this video. The video is by a man named Ray Krone, who was twice convicted for the murder of a bartender in 1991 in Phoenix. Even though he had no criminal record, was steadily employed and there was no direct evidence of his guilt, two juries were convinced by the authorities that Mr. Krone was guilty. Despite our constitutional ideal that we are innocent until proven guilty, it is exceedingly difficult for the average defendant to prevail. Citizens instinctively want to believe that the police and prosecutors are acting in good faith and that if they arrest and take a person to trial, he is probably guilty. Unfortunately, clearing a crime from the books often takes precedence over actually solving the crime. Too often, any conviction is a good conviction in the eyes of the law. Mr. Krone is the 100th person in the United States to have been exonerated after being on death row. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

Money Tree

Mrs. Sneed and I went to the mall down the road for a few minutes today. As you can see the recession has taken its toll. The joint was nearly empty.


Commenter Dennis asks, "Dennis wonders why we're still discussing this check he will never get."

Well Dennis, it's is important that we maximize ways to spend this cash as soon as we can and talking about it reminds readers of that message. It's not just me saying it either.

From Foxnews.com,

"The checks don't come a moment too soon," House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said in a rare, joint press conference with Majority Leader Steny Hoyer and Minority Leader John Boehner.

So Dennis, even if you personally don't get a check, it's good for America that people, people like me, even people who are me, get some free money from the Feds.

Speaking of which, there have been developments on the stimulus check front and they are not positive for Merle Wayne Sneed.

In a normal year, we get a few bucks back on our federal income taxes and we usually have them direct deposited to our bank account. I try to keep any refund to a few dollars, so that, throughout the year, I get the use of my money and not the government. This year our refund was a $146 smackaroos. Thinking that I would probably owe money next year, I asked Uncle Sam to hang on to my $146 and apply it to next year's bill.

This had the unintended consequence of kicking us into the category of people receiving rebates by mail. No stimulus money for us for a few weeks. With my luck, Walmart.com will totally sell out of the Legends of NASCAR commemorative plate series before the check arrives. Those plates will be worth a fortune someday.












Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

Show Me The Money

In just a few minutes I will be off to the hardware store. Saturday is a very busy day and I will be making an important contribution to our success. George W. Bush, stimulus check tease, still has me high and dry. No moolah yet. I'm amazed how the stores are lining up to get their grubby mitts on the dough. Some are offering bonuses. Many of the grocery stores are offering a ten percent bump in the value if you buy a gift card from them. That's not a bad way to spend the money. My favorite promotion is from the weasels at Best Buy. They are not offering any extra money if you buy from them, but they claim they will have staff available to help shoppers find items to purchase with their checks. I'm not kidding, that's what their PR person actually said. How can you resist that? Lastly, here in our fair city, Wayne Charles Phifer has been arrested and charged with killing his 61-year-old mother. Need I say more? Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky

Stimulus Checks

Anyone out there get their stimulus check yet? I'm in the first group, those whose Social Security number ends in 00 through 20 and I haven't seen hide nor hair of the thing. It should have been deposited by now and I have crap to buy. Actually, in my never-to-be-humble opinion, this whole stimulus check business has disaster written all over it. It seems to me that spending is our problem and more spending isn't a solution. Ask yourself, does a one-time payment of $600 or $1200 bucks change my life any? The answer is likely not. What I suspect is that a bunch of people will use their swell rebate check to go deeper into debt by using it as a down payment on something like a new car or super duper giant screen TV. I think it's time we collectively took a dose of some bad medicine and try to fix what ails us. And, again in my opinion, what ails us is debt. We are swimming in debt as a nation and it's no good for anyone. There's all sorts of statistics out there about debt and bad news abounds about foreclosures, the high price of gas and groceries and the general rise in inflation. These checks don't do much for any of those problems, at least in the long term. In fact, if you recall, more dollars chasing goods and services equals inflation and according to the smart guys, inflation is bad. So here's a plan. Use the check to pay off some debt and if you don't have any debt, save it for a rainy day. It will be good for you. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky