Random Stuff

Those ducks I ordered came in. These guys walked across the sidewalk like I wasn't there.

















These are plain old Petunias, but they are really pretty.



















Ditto.



















This Dalia is perfect, at least in my opinion.










I hate to pile on but the final season of the Sopranos is horrible. Wait that's unfair to the things that are really horrible. The Sopranos is worse. Every week we are introduced to another malady befalling Tony Soprano. The mob has been reduced to a bunch of guys sitting around. Enough said about that.

Another thing, I guess that tanker fire in San Francisco and resultant freeway collapse, puts to rest the claims of the conspiracy idiots that the World Trade Center was not destroyed by jetliners because the fire could not get hot enough to weaken the steel structure.

This just in. M.S.N. (Not the MSN) is reporting that the San Francisco tanker was driven by Dick Cheney and upon impact 100 monkeys, with blow torches, flew out of his butt and cut all the rivets. I guess the conspiracy is back on.

I was able to visit Younger son Sneed today and he is doing much better, which is really good. He may be able to come home by Wednesday.



**M.S.N. - The Merle Sneed Network your source for things that could be news, but could just be bullsh*t.


Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky


Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor

Going Home

Our time at the conference and fun park has come to an end and we will go home today. Our trip has been marred by by some difficulties experienced by our middle son, a fellow that I usually identify as Younger Son Sneed. One of the reasons I blog every day, even when I am the only one reading my ramblings, is that it provides an outlet to process my thoughts. Sometimes it is an just online diary, a record of what is going on in life. Some days it is a way to stop and look at the world around me, others it is a way to look at life's absurdities. Today it is about venting (maybe the wrong word). Younger Son Sneed suffers from Schizoaffective disorder, I think. The reason I say think is that the diagnosis of mental illness is an inexact science, so diagnosis's change from time to time. He has suffered from delusions, hallucinations, paranoia, mood swings, social anxiety, sleep disorders and a host of other symptoms. If he didn't have a home with the lovey Mrs. Sneed and me, he would likely be homeless or in an institution. His life has been very difficult for him. In addition to his mental illness, he has a chronic medical condition that disabled him throughout his teen years. That condition is currently in remission. It seems that each time he thinks he may be in the clear for awhile, illness rears it's head. For the past year he resumed his college and will get an AA in May. He hopes to continue at the university. On Friday, in the midst of one of his "lost periods" he went out in Daughter Sneed's car, which he now recognizes was a mistake. He hadn't slept for several days. During these sleepless periods he loses track of days at a time and doesn't remember events that occur. Normally, we are at home to make sure that he doesn't endanger himself or other, when he is disoriented. Younger Son Sneed was involved in a fender bender, which fortunately caused little damage and no injuries. When the police arrived they mistook his condition for intoxication. They did a field sobriety test, which he flunked, giving them cause to do a Breathalyzer test. He tested zero, since he cannot drink alcohol. The police took him to jail to get a urine or blood sample to test for other impairing drugs. One of the side effects of the many drugs Younger Son Sneed suffers from is the inability to urinate so he couldn't provide a sample. There was no one available to do a blood sample, so the police chalked it up as a refusal to comply with the test and charged him with DUI. They called a cab and sent him home. His older brother took him to the hospital, where he was admitted to the mental heath services. Clearly something is going on with him because these blacked-out periods have increased in frequency. This is a major stressor on our entire family and we have some work ahead to sort out the various facets of this latest calamity. Younger Son Sneed, is a nearly thirty-one year-old man living with his parents, with none of the normal social relationships that we all take for granted. This is a difficult way to live a life. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky Tag: Daily Life Personal Finance Humor

Fun Park

Sneedlet is having a swell time at the fun park, in our top secret location. We spent fours hours there this morning before we retreated to our hotel for naps and use of the facilities.

Sneedlet is not a fan of the public toilet. At the most inopportune moments he announces in his finest outside voice that he has to go to the bathroom. This leads to a futile trip to the nearest restroom, where he inspects the facilities and pronounces them unfit for use. Things like scratches in the bowl or water level that is too high or too low are disqualifiers. So we head back to the hotel, where the facilities are A-one. Enough about that though.

The lovely Mrs. and Daughter Sneed are attending a conference on couples therapy. They are tied up all day until about five, leaving Sneedlet and me on our own. So far there have been no incidents to speak of.




Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky


Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor

Day Two - Secret Locale

I must make this quick. Sneedlet and I were just awaken from our nap by my phone receiving a text message from headquarters. We are to be in the lobby of the hotel at 1645 hours, where we will be given further instructions. The plan as has been disclosed thus far, is for us to take local transportation to a well-known recreational park. We willl be searching for a being of the genus Mus. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky Tag: Daily Life Personal Finance Humor

These roses were growing in a planter. There were about one hundred bushes in this display.

















Sneedlet after our arrival.




This post is late today because we spent the day traveling to a secret location in a major American city so that Mrs. Sneed and Daughter Sneed can attend a seminar. We will be here all weekend. Sneedlet and I plan to do the town, cruise some chicks and see where that takes us.

We traveled on one our America's finest airlines, using free tickets from our frequent-flier account. This also entitled us to an extra bag of peanuts each, unrestricted use of the air sickness equipment and a complimentary copy of the emergency procedures pamphlet. We also received a fine catalog for a place called the Sky Mall, from which we are able to select lovely merchandise.

Our trip to the hotel was courtesy of the fine folks at Super Shuttle. We were picked up at curbside upon our arrival, The shuttle was driven by a seasoned professional driver and Super Shuttle had thoughtfully provided five additional passengers, in case we wanted someone to chat with, I suppose. They left the back row clear for us. Sneedlet, Mrs. Sneed, Daughter Sneed and I were very comfy in the seating for three in the back.

The enroute entertainment was a performance art piece starring a German woman. She portrayed an insufferable pain-in-the-ass, trying to get to a conference in the city. She badgered the driver relentlessly to give her a special conference rate. He pretended that the regular fare was a special deal just for her. It was a hoot.

The performance continued in the hotel, where our intrepid traveler, who had no reservation, demanded that the hotel staff to give her one, at the special conference rate. She concluded her performance by telling the desk clerk that she had experienced nothing but trouble since she arrived in the US.

I had some thoughts on German travelers and their difficulties that I wanted to share with her, but I wasn't sure if the performance was interactive, so I kept quiet.

Anyway, we're here safe and sound. It's late and I must get my beauty sleep.








Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky


Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor

Clop-Clop

"A small daily task if it really be daily, will beat the labors of a spasmodic Hercules”--Anthony Trollope. I heard this quote today and it struck a chord with me because that is how I have lived my life. For better or worse, I am a plodder. People look at me and think "sturdy, reliable and responsible". They don't think "visionary". Ford, not Ferrari. This is probably nothing to brag about, but except for the period from December 1, 2001 to January 15th, 2002, I haven't been without a job for the last 39 years. I started working for Tedious Industries in June of 1969 and assumed that I would stay until I was sixty-five. It never occurred to me to do it any other way. If someone asked me to describe myself in one word, I might choose inertia. I move at a constant speed in a constant direction, unless acted on by an outside force. I am having trouble getting myself to decide to retire from my job, but I would welcome being fired. Inertia. I heard a job coach named Dan Miller ask, "If you could do anything in the world, what would it be?" I got no idea. I have so little imagination that people who ride the elevator with me suddenly find themselves slightly more dull. Where being a plodder has really been an asset is in accumulating savings. In 1978 I became eligible to enroll in my company savings program and have faithfully continued. In our old age the Lovely Mrs. Sneed and I won't have to beg Ched for cat food, Eddie for spare acorns or nuts, Kurt won't have to deny Todd his rations to help us out and Jenny won't have to raid her storehouse of giant-sized snack items. Which is good for all. I guess plodding has it's pros and cons. As Popeye the Sailor Man said, "I yam what I yam." What can you do? Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky Tag: Daily Life Personal Finance Humor

"Ch-ch-ch-chia!"

No doubt you recognize the American icon pictured here. It is, of course, the Chia Pet or more specifically, the Chia Bunny.

Perhaps you have considered adding a Chia Pet to your home decor but wondered if you have what it takes to grow your pet into a delightful companion and conversation starter. Well, not to worry, buckaroos, your old pal Merle Sneed has the solution for you.

I was a Target today after work and as I wandered the aisles, I came upon an amazing sight. Target has a fine assortment of artificial Chia Pets. Just the thing for today's modern busy American. No tending and no watering, just 100% enjoyment. Take it home and dazzle your family and friends. Is this a great country or what?

Add this next thing to the list of human behaviors that I don't understand.

I was on my way to a very important meeting today...okay the important part is a lie. I was on my way to a meeting today when I received a phone call from a fellow who is building a church here in our fair city. He was very worked up about a standoff he was having with one of the very fine sub-contractors that Tedious Systems, my employer, uses.

This was not technically my problem, but this fellow Lloyd had my cell number, so when he couldn't reach the jughead that was more or less responsible, he called me. I told him that I would be over as soon as I could get there.

The issue was about some wiring that the contractor was installing. Lloyd was trying in vain to tell them that if they installed it today, he would have to rip it out later this week, due to a change order he had received from the owner of the building. The two fellows doing the installation may or may not have actually spoken English, but they did get their boss on the phone. The boss told Lloyd that his guys had a valid work order and they were installing the wire today. He advised Lloyd to work it out with Tedious Systems. Brilliant.

This seemed to me like a ridiculous situation on a couple of levels. What kind of people go ahead a do something when someone is right there telling them to stop and check it out? And what kind of a contractor screws his client (Tedious Systems) with this kind of crappy work practice?

I did what every good Tedious Employee is trained to do in our yearly Ethics Training, I called the big boss to report the suspected infraction. I wanted him to know that Tedious was getting boned and that I, ever vigilant, would not let it pass on my watch. Not here, not now!

Big Boss was shocked and dismayed and promised quick action. This sort of thing will not, I repeat, not be tolerated. He promised to put his best people on this. He added conspiratorially that he was "with me" on this. My chest swelled with pride.

One of the problems with contracts is that the people who administer them often forget whose interest they are supposed to be protecting. So, this afternoon when I got a call from the fellow who is supposed to be riding herd on this contractor for Tedious Systems, instead of asking what I knew, he mounted a spirited defense of the contractor. Glad Big Boss put his best people on it.

It seems to me that paying to install cabling that will be ripped back out in a few days is no way to do business, but that's just me and why I wear the badge of underling, with pride.










Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky


Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor

Midnight At The Oasis

This little bloom is on a rose tree that we planted in a pot on the patio to commemorate our anniversary last week. The lovely Mrs. Sneed has always been a fan of the rose tree. Few things are as lovely as a well-tended rose. While I've never had a well-tended rose, I've seen pictures.














This is a Phoenix roebelenii, or pygmy date palm. We are not big palm tree fans but it was a bargain and seemed worth a try. We are looking for short Bedouin with a minature camel to complete our faux oasis. The tree is actually navite to southeast Asia and likes regular watering. We will see how it works out.


Have you ever had someone bug you so often and so predictably that you were afraid that you would explode one day without warning, leaving the poor sap wondering what hit him or her?

I work with the woman who sits near our computer network printer. Every time she hears the printer start up, she leaps from her chair and dashes to it. Then she rifles through the copies to see what is what and tosses them on the table next to the printer. This infuriates me.

I was printing several forms today to send to a customer. After I filled out each page I had to print it because the cheapskates at Tedious systems won't buy me a copy of Adobe Acrobat. Since I can't save my work with Adobe Reader, I have to print out each form after I fill it out.

I walked to the machine after I completed the first page to make sure it looked okay but the mad dasher had already been there. My form was off the printer and on the table. I can't imagine the interest it takes to investigate every page that comes off the darn printer. It seems to me if you didn't print something there is no reason to check what is printing.

It became a game for me to print one page and then try to beat her to it. After a few trips she figured out that it was me sending each print job and she stopped getting up. I know that one day soon, I will scream, "Leave the GD pages alone!", at the top of my lungs at her and bad things will ensue.

I wouldn't mind so much if she brought them by my desk, but evidently it's curiosity that drives her and not service to her fellow worker.






Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky


Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor

Sunday and Nothing To Say Worth Reading

This picture is of some geraniums that my neighbor Sylvia has planted in the nooks created by the roots of the mesquite tree in her front yard. I thought they looked interesting.

Sneedlet One and I have had a fun-filled weekend. We tried to go to the movies yesterday and made it halfway through Meet the Robinsons. Once the snacks were eaten and he had to go to the bathroom, we had to leave. He's not 100% sold on the idea of public bathrooms, so he wanted to go home. I figured it was an argument that I wouldn't win. The movie was over his head anyway.

I am at my wits end with our adopted son, Cletus. He has been calling me asking for money all week. He called me Wednesday night, Friday afternoon, four times yesterday and has called three times this morning. This is the way he gets when he is using drugs.

Sneedlet's dad just picked him up. They are going to some relatives kid's birthday party. Sneedlet was none too happy to see him. He wanted to stay in his little kingdom, where he rules the roost.

I stopped my posting for a bit to go out with Mrs. Sneed and we just came. It is eight at night and the sun is down. I tried sitting in the back yard but it was a bit cool. Plus I can't type well enough to do it in the dark, so I came inside.

I was thinking about the concept of living in the moment. That's something I do a lot, because I have been plagued by the worries my whole life. I know intellectually that I can't control the future, but that doesn't stop me from trying.

Older Son Sneed and our daughter-in-way are buying a house that costs more than the four houses Mrs. Sneed and I have purchased during our marriage combined. It is one of these McMansion joints. It will be finished in July. As if that wasn't enough they need to sell their current house, which goes on the market next week. It makes me very nervous.

Anyway, I can go on and on about the things I worry about, but it's boring.

Merle.






Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky


Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor

Turn Off That Water!

I played golf with my new golf clubs and I have to say that the rumors that I would suck less are untrue. I was in the golf store today and the fitter told me that I would get accustomed to them and suck less. He didn't say it with that much conviction though.

My dad got an exciting credit card offer in the mail today. Unfortunately he died in 2005. I wonder if anyone checks the lists. I was tempted to fill out the application and send it in just to see what would happen, but I was afraid I would actually get the card.

I picked up Sneedlet One this afternoon. He is spending the entire weekend with us. The ENTIRE weekend. His mom is at a retreat at the Marriott Resort here in our fair city for her gig at the social services agency. She is interning as a Marriage and Family Therapist.

Can you imagine being locked up with a bunch of social workers all weekend? I would love to be a Birkenstock vendor at that function. Cha-ching.

Yesterday, young mister Sneedlet One turned on the faucet in his bathroom and then pulled the stopper in the sink closed, just to see the sink fill up. Unfortunately he forgot to turn the water off and flooded the hall and bedroom. His mother's hardwood floor is bulged up. She's none too pleased. He denies doing it and says it was "someone else." No one is accusing him of lying, but no one is looking for additional suspects either.

We call this sort of incident the "bowling ball effect" in the Sneed house. When we moved into our new house in 1983, the brothers Sneed decided to bowl in the hall using their new bowling balls and smashed a hole in the wall.

I told the kids that their wanton disregard for our house would come back to haunt them when they had kids. So when daughter Sneed told me this morning about the mishap with the sink, she recognized it was karma coming around to bite her on the butt house-wise.




Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky


Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor

Happy Anniversay, Mrs. Sneed

The lovely Mrs. Sneed and I celebrate our thirty-eighth wedding anniversary today. Gosh it seems like just yesterday that we took off to Las Vegas with our mothers and Mrs. Sneed's friend Ramona in tow, to get hitched.

Over the years, things have gone right and things have gone wrong. We have had joys and sorrows, triumphs and tragedies. We are blessed with three terrific children and delightful grandchildren.

Mrs. Sneed taught me about being a family and the value in traditions. She forgave me when I needed forgiving and always loved me, even when I wasn't that lovable. She prodded me to do things and take risks when I needed prodding. I am a fortunate guy.

I love you Mrs. Sneed.


Merle










Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky


Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor

I Don't Know

This is one of those posts where I know what I mean, but I may leave you wondering. I received an email today that a former coworker died either today or yesterday, it was unclear which. This fellow was a person who made it clear to me that he didn't like me very much. I don't think that it had much to do with me personally, but was because he was an hourly union employee at Tedious systems and I was salaried. For as long as I worked around him, he acted as though we were combatants on opposing sides and that I was out to get him. After all, I was "Management". Perhaps it is the old management styles that cause these sort of working relationships or maybe our natural inclination to order things. Perhaps we are all so alone that we invent ways to assign worth to ourselves. As A.E. Houseman put it, "I, a stranger and afraid, in a world I never made." I remember back when I started at Tedious Systems in the 1960s, there were many things designed to distinguish among the hierarchical layers of the organization. For instance, when I was an hourly office worker my chair didn't have arms on it. Armchairs were reserved for first-tier managers and above. Second-tier managers had offices, in addition to their armchairs. First-tier mangers sat at desks in the open work area, caught between the higher ups and the rabble. One time we moved into a new work area of the building where there was a cubicle at one end of the room. It wasn't even a real cubicle, but the old bank walls, with glass tops. Maybe 4 feet tall. Our boss moved his desk in the cubicle. Within a week his boss had it disassembled, because he wasn't entitled to an office. He sat at the desk while the workers disassemble the cubicle around him. Sadly comical. This sort of segregation of the ranks gave a lot of people an inflated sense of of themselves and they behaved accordingly. The lovely Mrs. Sneed and I went to my pal's birthday party a couple of years ago and several people were there whom I had worked for back in the 60's, 70's and 80's. They are mostly in their 70s now and long retired. It was interesting to see how very ordinary they were stripped of their corporate veneer and the power it vested in them. I used to be afraid of the power theses folks wielded and now they are just harmless senior citizens. I wanted to remind them of the bad old days and ask how important their phony corporate power and status turned out to be, but I didn't. Instead, we left early. My bitterness, my problem. The death of my former coworker gave me pause to think about how we define ourselves in relation to others and how we cling to things that make us feel important or even superior. At the end we all wind up equally dead. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky Tag: Daily Life Personal Finance Humor

Someone Phone Home For Cripes Sake.

The weather today is a mixed blessing. The high temperature has been only 73 degrees, which is cool for this time of year. As much as ten degrees below normal and a welcome change. Every cool day is one that we have robbed from the heat of summer. On the other hand, the winds have returned this afternoon, making being outside a little unpleasant. I arrived at work today to find that a large area of our floor has been shrouded in clear plastic suspended from the ceiling and secured at top and bottom with red duct tape. This has created a clear plastic room within our work area. There is a giant air exchanger, sucking up the dust. Probably asbestos or something. I stopped to chat with the foreman of the crew working in the area and he told me that they are tearing out the old conference room and archive rooms and creating an new larger conference room. I'm thrilled, more space for meetings. While I chatted with the foreman, a coworker walked by and said, "What happened, did you catch E.T.?" Funny guy. Later he hung a sign on the plastic sheeting that said, E.T. phone home. It went on all day, my side ache from laughing and I have slapped my knee bloody. Perhaps you saw the story of the couple who hired a NYC cabbie to drive them from Forest Hills, Queens to their new home in Sedona, AZ, the freak capital of the west. In case you missed it, the cab fare from NYC to Sedona is five grand, including expenses. The reason that I bring this up is that Kurt and Todd have been out of the office and on the road. The article said that the couple was an elderly man and woman, but Kurt is a master of disguise. Hmmm. Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky Tag: Daily Life Personal Finance Humor

Tragedy

I may have this situation totally wrong, but it seems to me that a pack of drooling
baboons in the media are trying to place at least a part of the blame for the horrific shooting in Virginia at the feet of the police and school administrators. Okay that is an overstatement, but you get the idea.


I am watching a press conference where the press people are grilling the authorities with questions designed to get them to admit that they screwed up and that all the dead students would be alive, had they just done their jobs better. Again, a slight overstatement.

Perhaps the authorities did screw up somewhere along the line, but today is not the day to analyze the police handling of the shootings. Today is not the day to find parents, angry at the situation, and to exploit those feelings in pursuit of a scandal.

Things always look different in hindsight than they did in the moment. It just seems to me that there is too much recrimination, especially toward those who tried their best, but bad things still happened, as they did today. Unfortunately the news media is dominated by people looking to place blame. Bad things happened, therefore someone must have messed up and someone should pay.

Years ago I was involved in long-distance cycling, not competitively, but as a touring activity. One year I was the ride leader for several hundred cyclists on a 500+ mile trip across our state. The ride had been conducted for many years prior to my leadership, largely without incident. The ride was a well-scripted affair and the role of the leader was mostly to make decisions when decisions were called for, make announcements and to lend an ear to those with complaints. Mundane stuff for the most part because the ride took care of itself.

The ride went well until one of the riders was struck and killed by a truck, a couple of days into the tour. It was totally the truck driver's fault and the cyclist did nothing wrong. Stupid mistake and a guy is dead.

People came out of the woodwork with helpful suggestions about what I could have done to prevent the accident. Not one of their ideas brought the guy back from the dead or made me feel anything but angry. Constructive advice included such gems as suggesting that bikes on the road with large trucks is dangerous and would be best avoided.

The investigation by the police, the insurance companies and the lawyers all concluded that the accident was just a horrible accident. The truck driver made a mistake and the bike rider had no chance to avoid it.

I tried my best as ride leader but sh*t happened. I didn't need woulda or shoulda explained to me by people who had the luxury of standing on the sidelines, like the news reporters always do.

The police, the school officials, students, parents, staff and who knows else involved in the Virginia Tech shootings, will turn this event over and over in their heads a million times, struggling to find something that they could have done differently. But it is not theirs to accept the blame for the actions of a deranged and homicidal maniac. Lessons will be learned, but at the end of the day people did what they thought was right in the moment. It seems to me anyway. I guess am sensitive to the second-guessers.

When do you suppose we will give up the American obsession with firearms? Tomorrow the second amendment crowd will remind us that guns don't kill people, people kill people. Mostly in America, though.



Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky


Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor

Don Ho No-Mo

Another hibiscus bloom. This is a little three dollar plant that I bought a couple of weeks ago.


















Don Ho and one of his ten kids.











The Sneeds are really a branch of the Bundy family. Everything we try to do will turn trashy due to our overpowering Bundyness.

A couple of years ago, we took a vacation in Hawaii. The lovely Mrs. Sneed and I were joined by Sneedlet One's mom and dad. Two weeks in Maui, what could be better? A lot as it turns out.

First, we booked it through some travel agent that specializes in Hawaiian vacations. Since we had never been to Hawaii as adults, (I was there twice when I was a child) we figured we could use the help.

The travel agent suggested that rather than spending the entire two weeks on Maui, we should take a few days at another island. We decided to spend the first three days on Oahu, which turns out to be a mixed experience. It afforded us the opportunity to visit the Arizona Memorial and take a tour of the island, which were both great. It was Don Ho where things got rough.

Somehow we were forced into seeing the Do Ho show at the Don Ho Theater. Theater is a generous description. The show was in a hotel ballroom, that Don Ho had taken over. It came with a dinner that was largely unconsumable, served by a giant, menacing Polynesian guy, who looked like he doubled as a hired killer. His demeanor was unpleasant. I think since repeat business wasn't an issue for Don Ho, customer service wasn't either.

By the time we saw the Don Ho show, his marginal talent had faded. He sat in a chair like your crazy uncle, mumbling about God knows what. It was the night to forget, but we can't.

An interesting thing about Don was that he was a college graduate, BS in sociology and former Air force officer. He lived up the folksy old knucklehead image for years.

Maui was a wonderful experience for the Sneeds and more than compensated for the horrors of the Don Ho Show.

Anyway Don died yesterday and legions of Hawaiians are in mourning.








Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky




Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor

Saturday

My new hibiscus is in bloom. The old one froze. Wimp.







Today is as perfect a Saturday morning as there could be. It is 62 degrees F. (17 degrees C), not a cloud in the sky, got the sun in my eye....wait, I lapsed into a Carpenter's moment there.

I am sitting in the front waiting for the furniture guys. Sounds of the neighborhood are drifting around.

My neighbor Sylvia is shouting in Spanish at her yard guy. She isn't mad, she is just really loud. Mr. Sylvia is just watching the goings on. Sylvia and her husband are from Nogales, AZ and are great neighbors.

The kid across the street came out earlier wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase. When did he grow up? He said he was off to work. I told him he looked like a tycoon and he said he's trying.

The guy next door to him was just loading up his golf clubs. He lives in his parent's second home, which is across the street and over one house to the north. The parents are both big deal lawyers in a major American city back east, as we say. the kid goes to school and plays golf. That's it. He doesn't speak as nearly as I can tell, despite the fact that his mother is very social when she is here. I waved, he stared. Then he left.

The lovely 30ish woman next door just drove up. Her name is Tracy. She and her husband divorced a while back and she has a new beau, so I don't see her too much these days. Mrs. Sneed likes to taunt me by saying that Tracy is two-timing me with the new guy. Simply because I do Tracy's yard work and take out her trash cans, doesn't mean I have hopes of a May-December deal.

The guys delivering the new bed have just arrived. You may recall the saga of this stupid bed. This is the fourth time they have been here and each time the foot board would not fit to the rest of the bed. It seems the manufacturer changed bolt patterns in mid production run. They finally decided that they needed to order an entire new bed.

Chat among yourselves while I deal with the furniture delivery guys.

Okay, I'm back.

I just had to call the store because the driver refused to take the original headboard and rails with him. His suggestion was that I call the store after he left and tell them to schedule a pickup. What a lunkhead. The folks at the store set him straight.

I did something very unMerle Sneed-like yesterday. I bought myself new golf clubs. Not just any old off-the-rack golf clubs but ones fitted to me. The fitter guy said that my current clubs are too short for me and that with specially made longer clubs, I will be a seriously good golfer. His exact words were, "You will suck less." Same thing.

I almost choked when the guy rang the sale up. I had a limit I wanted to spend and these were three times the limit. Oh well, I'll make it up in golf winnings.

So now I am off to get Sneedlet One from his house, get my haircut and some other stuff. Later, our neighbor Tim is having a housewarming party, but Mrs. Sneed is working at the counseling center all day, so I will just go over, say hello and beat a retreat. I'll drag Sneedlet along to add plausibility to my story.













Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky


Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor

The End , Literally

To all of you who took the time to admit that I was right about Skidchick, I want to say that I admire you for stepping up and doing the right thing. I know it wasn't easy, but you can take satisfaction in the knowledge that you all were big enough as people to admit that I was right.

For my part I would like to quote a famous American that we all know, HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! HA!

In other news, this climate business has me flummoxed. It has been unseasonable cool here today and we had rain. Imagine that, rain in April, that almost never happens.

Well, its late and gloating takes it out of a guy, so adios.





Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky


Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor

Windy

This is not something I wanted to do, but you all forced me to do it. Now you have to live with the results.












Our local paper featured a story today about the windy conditions and the storm of little yellow Palo Verde flowers that engulf the city this time of year. The picture is the surface of the pond of our fountain. I skimmed it out before work and now it is covered again.

Palo Verde is Spanish for green stick. The tree gets its name from the color of the branches and trunk which are green rather than brown. When drought conditions prevail the tree drops most of its leaves, but the green pigment of the trunk and branches allow photosynthesis to occur.

The tree that is currently creating havoc in our back yard, is a volunteer plant that sprang from the earth uninvited. It is on the property of the synagogue next door and hangs over our wall. It provides a block against the evening sun, so I resist the urge to chop it down under the cover of darkness.

I took off work today at ten am to play golf with my friend, the seafood magnate. It was fun but windy as heck. We teed off at ten forty-five and I was home by three. Not a bad way to spend the day.

In other news, Skivy-gate continues with no resolution of the question, "Skidman or Skidchick".





Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky


Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor

Skivvies

Perhaps you are thinking, is that old fool going to post every flower that grows in his yard? Well, probably, because I love flowers and let's face it, I really don't have much to say.

This Asiatic Lilly surprised me with these lovely blooms this morning.



Okay, here's a bit of controversy that you can weigh in on. At Jennyhaha's Flawed and Disorderly post called Tighty Whitey, is the fat person in the tighty whiteys, actually a fat woman? Is Skidman, a Skidchick? I say yes, because those look like women's skivvies to me. A woman with skid marks playing strip down twister. I'm feeling woozy.











Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky


Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor

Flowers

This picture is from literature supplied by the Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum



This ferocious looking creature s a Sonoran Carpenter Bee. There is one living somewhere in the backyard and every time I go out there it buzzes around me, checking me out. These guys are docile, solitary bees, that do not colonized. They chew into dead wood and lay their eggs.

The Sonoran Desert has more than 1000 bee species, more than any other area in the world. Most of our bee species are non-colonizers.

This is a great time to live out here in the desert. The weather is not too hot yet and everything is blooming.


(click to enlarge)


This is a miniature rose bush on the back patio. I just love the orange flowers.









This is a variety of daisy that we planted in a pot on the patio. It kind of looks like a sunflower. The lovely Mrs. Sneed enjoys a nice daisy.








And of course, here's Sneedlet One flexing his muscles, because after all, the other one did it.

Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky


Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor

What's This Kid Doing?

I thought I might say a few words about the Sneedlets for identification purposes.

Sneedlet One is the kid with the longer brown hair and is son of daughter Sneed. He has always been a stay-at-home kid, along with his mom. S1 loves to play with trains and other working vehicles. He likes to be read to and pretends that he can read. He has a vivid imagination. He is a very innocent boy. S1's mom doesn't sweat the small stuff and lets him do things in his own time. He is musical and loves cowboy songs and children's songs. S1 is also one-half Yaqui Indian. His hair is long because of Yaqui custom. S1's dad is involved with him, but doesn't live with them.

Sneedlet Two is the blond kid. He is the son of Merle Sneed, Jr, aka older son Sneed. His folks both work outside the home and he has been in daycare his entire life. He is far more sophisticated about life than his cousin, because he is exposed to a wider range of activities. S2 likes sports because his father does. His taste in music is more along the lines of what mom and dad listen to. S2 is the more athletic of the two and the one who reaches the various developmental milestones quicker.

S2 is older that S1 by 28 days.






Sneedlet 2 is showing off his fantastic muscles. Eyes bulging, hands in tight fists and teeth clenched. Every fiber of his massive thirty pound body coiled and ready to strike. Stand back, he's going to explode!


Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky


Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor

Easter

Pope Benedict is shown sleeping on the floor of St. Peter's Basilica. The Pope, had vowed to clear up "this Easter Bunny nonsense, once and for all", by catching the children's icon in the act.



"I will crush the pagan beast, if he shows his floppy ears around here", said an obviously agitated Pope. "We don't need some stinking rat distracting the faithful."

Unfortunately, the Pope slept through the arrival of the Easter Bunny and the hiding of the eggs. The various Cardinals and hangers-on are seen in the background anxiously awaiting their chance to scour the Basilica for eggs left by the bunny.

Vatican staff had made preparations to protect the rabbit from the determined pontiff, but he foiled their plans.

"I usually slip His Holiness a little something in his evening milk to keep him from wandering around Vatican City all night, scaring the zeepers out of everyone", said Cardinal Angelo Sadano. "I forgot last night and Pope Benedict tied his bed clothes together and went out a window. We found him sleeping on the floor this morning. My bad."











Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky


Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor

Free at Last

We are working on replacing all the plants on the patio that were either killed by the winter cold or by Sadie the Wonder Mutt. Sneedlet One is supposed to be smiling for the camera, but seems distracted. The lovely Mrs. Sneed will ask me why I didn't think to sweep up before I took the picture. Reality man, reality.

Yesterday was a breakthrough day for Sneedlet One. He decide that three and a half was old enough to ditch wearing diapers. He had been very resistant to the idea of underwear or "bigs" as he call them. I have been trying to encourage him to give up his diapers to no avail. His mom figured that he would get the idea eventually and reminded me not to tramautizre the kid over it. He has been with us all day and so far there have been no mishaps, so I guess he is serious about the transition.



Sneedlet watches some television show on the Sprout channel where a policeman tells various villains to "Stop in the name of the law", which Sneedlet understands to be, "Stop in the name of Plod", which he marches around, repeating with authority.

In his little Sneedlet brain, he figured that he needed a stop sign to accompany his declaration. Better yet, he decided he needed a sign with stop on one side and go on the other. He has a part to his train set like that. The lovely Mrs. Sneed made him one from foam board and construction paper. He is very proud of it. The kid may a future in road construction.














Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky


Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor

Good Friday

This is the time of the year here in our part of the desert southwest when the Palo Verde trees bloom and the wind blows. For the next few weeks my fountain will be full of these little yellow flowers.



I bugged out of work at 1 pm today, due to a lack of interest. We pretty much had a skeleton staff anyway today.

Most the Hispanic employees took off for Good Friday. This includes all the Hispanic women in the office. They are mostly Catholic so today is a religious observance for them. It is interesting to me how deep the Catholic tradition runs. Even those Hispanic women who have left the Catholic church for more evangelical denominations, were absent today.

I was thinking about how much being middle and upper class affords us, even in the observance of religion. Our custodian at work is a Hispanic woman named Maria. She was at work today because the cleaning contractor she works for doesn't offer the liberal vacation Tedious Systems does. So she came to work on Good Friday, like it or not, while the middle class folks in our offices had the luxury of a day off for religious observance.

Different subject. I just finished John Grisham's new book, An Innocent Man. Maybe you've read it or maybe Grisham is not your cup of tea. Unlike his previous books, this is not a work of fiction, but instead tells the true story of two men, Ron Williamson and Dennis Fritz, who were framed for murder by over-zealous police desperate to solve the crime. They were convicted and sentenced to die. Ron Williamson came within five days of execution.

I am not the sort of person who gets riled up by books or documentaries, but if a person believes in the death penalty, this book should give them pause to reconsider.
When you read the web of errors that occurred in the prosecution of these men and others, it is hard to imagine that anyone could be confident that an execution was justified and that a truly guilty man was executed.

It is a fascinating book.


Merle
















Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky


Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor

Sometimes things get me down.

This is a picture of the Sneed granddaughters, the daughters of Cletus Sneed, our mostly homeless, oft drug using son. This is a picture from three and a half years ago. At the moment we don't really know where these girls are.

We know in a general sense that they are living with their mom and her latest boyfriend in a trailer somewhere out in the desert. At least that was the last report. The mother's parents tried to provide a stable home for the children, but their mom would rather have a warm body in her bed, than a safe, stable home for her children.

Of course Cletus is just no help either. In fact, I was telling the lovely Mrs. Sneed that I wonder about his whereabouts. He came over two weeks ago to get twenty bucks and hasn't been seen or heard from since, which is unusual.

The lovely Mrs. Sneed and I made a conscious decision not to become attached to these little girls, so as not to be hurt when they disappeared from our lives, which they were bound to do. We do what we can for them, but our opportunities are limited in that area.

It is a shame when children are the victims of their parent's stupidity and irresponsible behavior.

What got me down, was not thoughts of the girls but rather a mom I saw at Circle K tonight. She was using the pay phone in front of the store and having some drama with the party on the other end. All the while her two grubby little kids played around her feet. Periodically, she cupped the receiver and yelled at the kids to stay put.

The girl was dressed in a little cheerleader outfit, which someone bought thinking she would look cute in it. She did. Her little brother was dressed in a plumber's outfit, at least I think it was a plumber outfit because his butt cracked showed above his drooping drawers.

Mom was emaciated and her teeth were rotten. I would bet anything that she was a meth addict.

I makes me sad and mad that children don't get better than this.




Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky


Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor

Make Mine Extra Crispy

This photo gives new meaning to the idea of well-done. This fast-food joint near our home burned down when a fire started in a deep fryer and got out of hand. No one was injured, but several people were embarrassed.

The fryer operator, Jorge Mendoza, will have his pay docked $5 per week until he repays the $400,000 in damage that was done because of his inability to remember where he stored the fire extinguisher.

Shift Leader, Carl Karlson said, "This is just not the sort of experience our guests expect. Jorge will make this right or we ship his butt back to El Salvador."


Associate District Manager Skip Klein nodded in agreement adding, "Carl Karlson is one of our best shift leaders and we at Lenny Burger have confidence he can pull things together here."

(click to enlarge)



If you've ever worked at an enterprise of any size, you may have encountered the employee who doesn't seem to have an actual job. Title yes, job no.

At Tedious Systems we have several. In fact, some have tried to count me among that group, but they are mistaken. However one of our salesman fits the bill to a tee.

This fellow, we will call F. Scott Fitzgerald, isn't really a salesman, so much as he is a salesman's helper. This character is forever scheduling meetings that he thinks I need to attend. Usually related to some thing or another he and his mates hope to sell. Invariably, it has nothing whatever to do with me or even my department. Also on the occasions when I show up at his request, he isn't present and I am left to guess the point of the meeting. Usually, the hapless potential client is equally mystified.

F. Scott wears what you would call business casual clothing at work. He usually looks neat and his clothes are tasteful for the most part. The odd thing though, is that he also wears a baseball cap, which I find to be a strange combination. He looks like a retiree at the mall.

Apparently, F. Scott has taken his game to a new level. He scheduled a meeting, not with a potential client, but with some folks who might someday be in a business that might provide an opportunity for F. Scott to sell them one of our fine products. That's a bunch of mights. They are a hypothetical, potential client. Should they ever need F. Scott's expertise, he wants them to remember that he is their go-to guy.

At this meeting it seems that F. Scott made some promises about a hypothetical proposal, for the hypothetical client's, hypothetical business endeavor. To complicate matters for me, he promised that I would throw this thing together and get it to the hypothetical client by yesterday afternoon. If only I'd known, I could have nixed the idea out-of-hand.

Instead, yesterday, just before noon, F. Scott, called my office (really a cubicle) to ask how the hypothetical proposal was coming along. Fortunately for him I wasn't at my desk and he was forced to leave a message.

The message began, "I have been asked to check on the proposal that needs to be to xyz today..." My eyes bulged from my head and for a moment, I couldn't see.

In my long experience, when someone tells you that they have been asked to (fill in the blank), without attributing the request to someone, they are lying. This pompous clown was asking on his own behalf and was trying to lend some credibility to the whole stupid plan. The last thing he wanted to admit was that he volunteered me to waste my valuable time on his dumbass scheme. I am not his support.

I left him a message saying that his request was (a)stupid, (b) impossible to fulfill, (c) not my role on the team (I only use team when I am blowing smoke up someone's keister), (d) wasn't going to get done by me. I have yet to hear back from him.

This afternoon this hypothetical customer called to ask me how it was going. No doubt that F. Scott made him call after he got my swell message. The hypothetical customer really didn't want a bunch of hypothetical information, he just had a simple, but still hypothetical question. Easy to answer and he went away happy.

F. Scott remains in hiding at an undisclosed location. Maybe with Dick Cheney.

Salesmen, who needs them?








Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky


Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor

Happy Birthday Ched!

There is nothing I can add but, Happy Birthday from me too!













Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky


Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor

Who Left the Tank In The Driveway?

Kurt asks me if I have a flag pole at my house as though it is an odd thing or something. I do, right next to a vintage M-47 Patton tank from WWII. Where do other people put theirs?


If you heard some loud cursing earlier, it was me trying to hook up the new pump to our waterfall in the backyard. For reason that probably made sense at the time, we put in a small waterfall, which is really closer to a cesspool much of the time. It is constantly catching things that blow by and filling up with debris.

The pump croaked and I had to buy a new one today. Plus I had to modify the plumbing, hence the vulgarities. If I offended anyone, I apologize.

The always hunky Randall Bing, my boss, is off this week, a fact I discovered when I went to his office in search of an answer. Several people in the office said that they got a voice mail from him saying he would be off this week. I did not, and I assume it was his ill-conceived way of trying to make sure I didn't screw around too much in his absence. Too bad for him.

Merle.









Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky


Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor

Sunday

First things first. Google had an ad displayed on my blog, advertising gay-friendly cars. I have no idea what that might be. I meant to click on it to see what it was about, but I forgot and now it's gone.

Call me naive, but I would think cars are cars. Then again, I don't know the ins and outs of the advertising game, so I might be wrong.

This might look like a regular flag, but it is actually the one I got for my birthday. I sort of knew I was getting this flag, because Sneedlet One blurted out, "Grandpa, we went to the store and got you a flag." What are you going to do with the guy?



We all went out this morning for my official birthday celebration. It was a lot of fun. All Sneeds were present and accounted for, with the exception of Cletus Sneed who has dropped off the earth again.

Cletus borrowed $20 last Sunday morning that he promised to return Sunday afternoon, right after he got paid. He hasn't been seen or heard from since. His loss.



Speaking of losses, this bougainvillea in our entryway was killed by our harsher than normal winter. It was taller than the house and I really liked it, although it was a bit messy. I replaced it with a hole.







And no post is really complete without a Sneedlet update. They are pretending to be Buzz Lightyear. "To infinity and beyond!"





















Things in this blog represented to be fact, may or may not actually be true. The writer is frequently wrong, sometimes just full of it, but always judgmental and cranky


Tag: Daily Life
Personal Finance
Humor